Devil Woman, Devil Man

Image shows a mask representing the devil, a red devil's fork and a red rose and a black and red surface.

Rayna watched them warily. Her heart pounded in her chest, and every time a hand moved, her muscles tensed, ready to flee. There was unconcealed anger and deep relief in their eyes — she had expected both.

It was the devil’s anger that kept her on edge; reminded her of every bruise, the humiliation, those unconscious moments.

Just moments before, she had dropped the bomb.

“I’m leaving.”

She shifted in her chair, fear rising inside her, but didn’t avoid their staring eyes.

“Two weeks from today,” Rayna said to fill the silence.

It had taken her four weeks to muster up the courage to tell them. Every time they had sex, she hoped they couldn’t sense her aversion. Her… betrayal?

It wasn’t her betrayal.

It was theirs.

His more than hers.

He had groomed her. Made her believe he was in love with her. She was with him — deeply — but she doubted he ever was with her. Then he told her he had a wife.

Rayna remembered that day. The shock. The pain. The feeling of loss while he held her hand and told her how much he loved her.

A month later, she moved in with them. Soon he withdrew. Told her to fall in love with his wife. Refused to fuck her unless she first was with his wife.

She had tried.

Rayna had really tried.

Tried to like her.

Tried to fall in love with her the way he wanted.

She couldn’t.

Rayna had sensed the dishonesty. She had told her husband she was into women, but she wasn’t. She was only going through the motions with Rayna because he wanted it.

Repeatedly in the months leading up to this day, she had told him she felt like a toy. Their toy. A toy to get them turned on.

Mary just cried and forgave me, Mary took me back again
She said if I wanted my freedom, I could be free evermore
But I don’t want to be and I don’t want to see Mary cry anymore.

How many times had Rayna told him she could leave, and he could be with his wife again? Those times had cost her dearly. He accused her of having no backbone, of being weak, a home-wrecker, someone with no perseverance to make their special relationship last. Several times his anger turned into violence, leaving her unconscious, if only for seconds, and bruised for weeks.

Rayna now watched him carefully, ready to dash if he lifted his hand. She wouldn’t allow him to touch her one more time. Not intimately; not in violence.

Sadness flooded her eyes, but also relief. Finally, she would have her husband to herself. She would never let the words pass her lips for fear of his reaction, but Rayna knew.

Devil woman, you’re evil like the dark coral reef
Like the winds that bring high tides, you bring sorrow and grief

He stayed remarkably calm. Rayna didn’t trust it. Didn’t trust the way he helped her pack in the days after her announcement. She waited for the explosion of his anger.

Two days before she was due to board her plane, the attack came.

No violence.

No harsh words.

He pulled her closer, hugged her, told her how much he loved her, and how much he would miss her. Then he took his guitar and strummed the accords of Devil Woman, tears in his eyes.

Devil woman, devil woman, let go of me
Devil woman, let me be
Just leave me alone,
I want to go home.

Rayna cried with him. Cried all the tears she had held in for months. Cried because she had lost herself when she fell in love with him all those months ago; cried because she had been so blind, so stupid, so humiliated. She felt sorry for him, but more so for his wife, who cried as hard as Rayna did.

Rayna cried because she was finally strong enough to say no.

“I’m leaving,” she told him again. “It’s time your wife gets the attention she deserves.”

She didn’t really know what she meant by that, but she needed to say it.

Two days later, she hugged them for the last time before she almost ran through customs to get away from the beautiful man, who had turned out to be the devil himself.

© Rebel’s Notes
Image by annca from Pixabay
Lyrics from the song: Devil Woman © BMG Rights Management, Warner Chappell Music, Inc
Songwriters: Marty Robbins

4 thoughts on “Devil Woman, Devil Man

  1. Knowing about some of your history from reading your blog, I am guessing you drew from your own experience to some degree in writing this. It comes across as very personal.

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