From Quarter To The End

In the past weeks, I have mentioned a couple of times — maybe not too explicitly, though — that I feel overwhelmed by life. Let’s be honest, many things had been declining since the end of 2016, but the past year has been brutal.

A stroke, cancer, Covid, backache, severe headaches, mental breakdowns and now possibly tendinopathy in my hips. It’s a bit much, really.

Because of this, I am looking closely at managing my time. Some things have to change, as I feel like I’m constantly behind. I have ideas, but for now, let’s get to the last questions of March for the Erotic Journal Challenge.

Day 87 – 28 March: What prevents you and your partner from having the best sex possible?

Medical stuff, obviously. The radioactive iodine treatment Master T had in September 2021, and the consequent high dosage of thyroid hormones, have left him tired, in the mood for nothing, suffering from muscle pain, and more. Add to that my own tiredness and aches in my back and hips, and you can understand why neither of us is in the mood for sex.

Day 88 – 29 March: How has sex changed over time for you and your partner? What would you like to bring back? What would you like to leave in the past?

I would like to bring sex back, period. But honestly, that’s not even on my mind now, as my previous answer and other answers have demonstrated.

Day 89 – 30 March: What would make the sexiest roleplay experience? Write about what would be like. Have you had experiences like this before?

Last week I wrote a story, Talent Training, and someone mentioned it being a good idea for role-playing. I totally agree!

Day 90 – 31 March: What is sexy about your bedroom or home? Are there ways you could set a more romantic atmosphere?

Ha! The sexiest part about our home is us being in it, of course!

No, seriously, I view nothing in our home as particularly sexy. We (read: me) are currently on a decluttering journey, and are almost done with the attic. In the past week, we had the garden overhauled, which totally lightened a mental load in my head.

This is also the reason for decluttering.

The attic was filled with boxes of things I had brought with me from South Africa 27 years ago, stuff of Master T’s mom who passed away in 2011, and my mom who passed away five years ago. Add to that boxes of the children who had moved out 3 and 1.5 years ago, and you get the idea of a more than overfull attic. A place I rather didn’t go because it depressed me too much.

Granted, it was only now I had the courage to go through my mom’s stuff, but I can’t explain how different it feels in my head now we have gotten rid of so much.

Next is our bedroom, which has a minimalistic interior, but the drawers under our bed are cluttered. The two drawers on my side are filled with sex toys I had received and reviewed over the years. Ninety-nine percent of that can go. If anyone is interested in having them – sanitized of course – please get in contact!

Then there’s one more room that needs to be decluttered, and after that I need to decide what to do about our lounge, which is too full to my liking too.

Once all the decluttering has happened, and the doors on the first floor have been painted, I am sure my desire to move will disappear, and who knows, I might even view our home as romantic!

This is the end (for now)

The observant reader will have noticed that instead of doing the questions for a full week, which means I should’ve included the first three questions for April too, I have stopped at 31 March.

A quarter of doing this challenge, for now, is enough.

As mentioned above, I am looking closely at managing my time. This means looking at all the things I do and maintain:

  • This website
  • Wicked Wednesday
  • The Menopause Diaries
  • My Medium site
  • Blogable, and the Blogable Fiction Marathon
  • Reading and commenting on WordPress
  • Reading and commenting on Medium
  • Family, household, my job, daily walks, bullet journaling
  • Caring for Master T, as well as myself

That last one, as well as family, my job, the household (we have a cleaner who comes in every other week) and my daily walks, I have under control.

Bullet journaling has proven to be a moment of rest every week, as I spend all of Wednesday afternoon at my daughter’s, where we lunch together and then sit drawing all afternoon, and engage in some deep talks, which sometimes lead to cathartic tears.

Wicked Wednesday will not change. I was going to change The Menopause Diaries into something else, but have decided against it. If anyone wants to take this over, please let me know before the end of the month. If by then I have heard nothing from anyone, I will move the linkup to Rebel’s Notes and keep it open for anyone who wants to add their posts. The site and the domain will go.

Rebel’s Notes and my Medium site will continue as is, but I will be more selective about what I put on there. There will also be more of a crossover between the two, where stories that first appeared on Medium will eventually make it to this site too. The other way around already happens.

Blogable and the Fiction Marathon are very close to my heart and I will continue to put my energy into that too.

That leaves reading and commenting on WordPress and Medium. I believe it should be a two-way street, and this will be the way I approach it from now on. Actually, I am already doing this, and it frees up space in my mind, the same way the decluttering does.

It’s part of my nature to give a lot of myself regardless of getting anything back, but that’s changing until I feel much stronger than I do now.

I’m definitely not disappearing, just taking better care of myself.

© Rebel’s Notes
Image from Pixabay

9 thoughts on “From Quarter To The End

  1. It feels like we are on a similar journey with our houses. I’ve been working to declutter as well. So many boxes with so many memories is exhausting but it also feels great when it is done.

    1. It does indeed, and I really need to continue. The last few weeks it all came to sort of a standstill, after my back played up majorly.

  2. Dear Marie,
    Reading this post made me realise – again – what a remarkable human being you are. You face huge challenges in your own life but somehow find time to support so many others – thank you for your comment on my WW post this week. I admire you though we have never met and probably never will – I really hope you do manage to make more time for yourself. You have also made me realise I need to do some thinking myself – life changes and my professional writing has been taking up more time and i think i need to make some changes to my web site too. I developed COVID symptoms almost as soon as I had posted on WW so there may be a delay before that story gets finished but it is half written in my head at least.
    Take care and thank you
    Steve (Old MIke)

    1. I am sorry to hear you have developed Covid symptoms, Mike, and I really hope you are okay. Also, thank you so much for your beautiful comment. I tend to give a lot of myself and forget that I am important too. I am in the process of learning how to change that.
      Take care xox

  3. “Closing time, every new beginning
    Comes from some other beginning’s end.” – Semisonic. Decluttering is hard. We’ve moved 4 times in the last 12 years and each move a little more history became only memories.
    But each decluttering cleared room for new things.
    May new things continue to grace your life. Including sex!

  4. well done YOU Rebel, i think You are a star and i thank You for Your writings and comments that i read on a regular basis.
    keep well and best wishes to You and Master T
    i am sure You will have no problems finding a home for the many sex toys – if i was a girl and living closer i would be asking if i could have them (mind You i might be naughty enough to ask You to demonstrate some of them for me on the day of collection 🙂
    keep well, keep safe and most of all keep HAPPY xoxoxox
    best wishes alan

    1. Thank you so much for your comment, Alan, and for being a faithful reader of my blog. I will see what I do with those toys. I think they are going to end up in the trash. Best wishes to you too xox

  5. Taking better care of oneself is so, so important. I know we often all get overwhelmed with family, and work, commitments and forget about the one thing that makes all that possible … YOU.
    Love and kisses … and best wishes !!!
    Xxx – K

    1. You are so right about that, I am just battling to know what exactly it means to make time for myself… xox

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