The questions for the past week focused on relationships. While working through these questions, thoughts and words ran through my mind. A particular thought struck me. Years ago, I would have been appalled to live a sexless life as that in my mind would’ve equaled living together like a sister and brother.
I’m always amazed at how life teaches us the lessons we need. Being struck by a medical condition which might mean the end of your life, or that of your partner, makes you look at life differently. It makes you understand what is important.
I know there are people who won’t understand how we can live like this — a sexless life — and just thirteen months ago I didn’t understand that either, but life has taught me important lessons. We take it one day at a time, and see where life takes us. Love will carry us through.
Day 80 – 21 March: List 10 words that come to mind when you think of a romantic evening with your partner.
Music — Food — Wine — Conversation — Kissing — Touching — Smiles — Love — Candles — Yearning
Day 81 – 22 March: What words do you associate with the word “satisfaction?”
Satisfaction nowadays comes from many things, but things that give me satisfaction one day don’t always make me feel satisfied the next.
One thing that always makes me smile is when I being creative. That runs like a red thread throughout my life. Whether I write a new story, edit an old one, or draw in my journal, I love seeing something coming from nothing. It’s satisfying to translate the ideas I have in my mind, starting on a blank page, and seeing them take shape, sometimes even better than the original idea.
Day 82 – 23 March: In what ways do you trust your partner sexually?
In every way possible.
He knows me well, sometimes even better than I know myself. I never felt shame in telling him what my sexual preferences were, although I didn’t immediately share it at the beginning of our relationship. Where I’m not an easy speaker when it comes to sexual things, I know I can tell him anything, and he will always treat it with the same respect he always has.
Day 83 – 24 March: How could you and your partner improve your sex life?
I have written about the end of our D/s and our sex life being non-existent at this moment, so I guess the way we could improve our sex life is just to have sex again.
We might not ‘do it’ at this moment, but the desire is still alive. In the past weeks, Master T even made some remarks which confirmed that our kinky life will continue, eventually. Maybe not a formal D/s again, but definitely kinky sex.
Day 84 – 25 March: Is there something you and your partner used to do together that you don’t do anymore and miss? What is it? How could you start doing it again?
As long as Master T is being treated for cancer and his thyroid medication is at the levels it’s now, there will be no desire for sex. With my body in shambles due to stress (and aging, I guess), my desire for sex is low too.
What we should do to get back to sex again? Deal with our health conditions. Our minds are still filled with sexy stuff. Now to get our bodies to align!
Day 85 – 26 March: How important is love when it comes to sex?
I don’t have to love someone to have sex with them, but I need to feel some kind of a click with them; some kind of affection. If that’s not there, there’s no way I can have sex with them.
Giving myself to someone completely, the way I do to Master T, there needs to be love, but also respect and trust, otherwise my true feelings will be guarded.
Day 86 – 27 March: Name the first 20 words that come to mind when you think of “relationship.”
Friendship — Love — Laughter — Fun — Respect — Trust — Sexiness — Freedom — Touching — Confidence — Soulmates — Comfort