From Lover To Fantasy

With the official end of the D/s part if our relationship, and all else that’s happening and have been happening in our life for the past year (yesterday it was a year ago since Master T had a stroke, which got the ball rolling on discovering the cancer), our intimate life is so different from before. And then again, it’s not.

Sex is about the only thing that’s gone… for now.

We have memories… and damn good ones too!

Click for my previous posts here, and for Brigit’s daily prompts, but for now it’s on to my reflection of the past week.

Day 66 – 7 March: In what ways is your partner a good lover? Or what makes someone a good lover for/to you? In what ways are you a good lover? And what improvements or changes do you long for?

Looking at our situation as it is now, where sex is on the back burner, I still feel we are good lovers to each other.

What makes a good lover for me is to be attentive to each other’s needs, to share good times together, have good talks, but also give each other room to withdraw, and attend to self-care.

Of course, sex is not totally off the menu. It’s something that’s not happening now, but we are both confident it will return in the future. We talk about this, and that’s another thing that I need from a lover – open communication. This was something that lacked on my side, but I am getting better at talking about intimate needs.

Day 67 – 8 March: What messages did your caregivers give you about intimacy, romance, and/or sex as a child? Which would you like to take with you and which would you like to leave behind?

My parents have never spoken to us about this, but lead by example. And that example wasn’t the best one.

I am a sensitive person, sensitive to the needs and feelings of others. As a young girl, I had sensed my parents weren’t happy together. Not that they fought all the time, but they did frequently. Towards my teen years, I understood my mother was only staying with my father because of us, the kids. That’s not the best message to grow up with.

I get back to what I said above about finally getting better with communicating my needs, thoughts, desires. My mom never did.

In the light of what I learned during those coaching sessions, I now realize that most if my life I did the same as my mom: sucked it up, kept quiet and just carried on. Now I know this, I definitely want to leave that behind.

Day 68 – 9 March: What props/toys would you consider taking to bed with you and your partner?

It happened only on rate occasions that we took toys to bed with us. Mostly it would be a glass dildo, but occasionally some nipple clamps or even a speculum.

But mostly we just preferred using hands and mouths!

Day 69 – 10 March: What is missing from your intimate, romantic, and sexual life?

Sex.

I don’t need to elaborate, right?!

Day 70 – 11 March: What is your most tame sexual fantasy?

In the past, this wouldn’t have counted as a tame fantasy, but since we have done this in two occasions and I know it can happen again, I classify this fantasy as tame.

The fantasy?

An erotic massage.

Day 71 – 12 March: What is your wildest sexual fantasy?

Most definitely a gang-bang!

Day 72 – 13 March: What movie star or entertainer do you find the sexiest and why? Or maybe you’d rather focus on a scene or film instead of an actor?

I have never been one to have a crush on celebrities, but there are some I find sexy, all for different reasons.

Who, or what, I find the sexiest?

Most definitely the movie Dirty Dancing. It melts my heart just thinking about it. The dancing, the young love, the heartache, the ‘no one puts Baby in the corner’, just everything. Even just hearing a song from the movie on the radio always gives me warm feelings.

Everything about that movie is just sexy. Cheesy? I don’t care… and that’s said with a smile and a wink!

© Rebel’s Notes


5 thoughts on “From Lover To Fantasy

  1. Thank you for sharing with us, Marie. I am so glad that you have beautiful memories of D/s and sex to reflect on, and that you both are hopeful for a return to your sex life at some point. And damn, lady…your pic with this post is HOTTTTT!!!!! XOXO

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