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Another week has passed: week 7 of 2022. Can you believe it? Already seven weeks into the new year, which makes this my seventh reflection post.
Day 45 – 14 February: Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day is not something we celebrate. Both Master T and I feel it’s too commercialized, and just another day of the week. We don’t need a special day to celebrate our love for each other, as we do this every day, and at any moment of the day.
Day 46 – 15 February: If you want something you’ve never had, you’ve got to do something you’ve never done.
This made me think of another similar saying: if you do what you did, you get what you got.
I am a firm believer that we all can change our behavior if we really want. It might take some work — sometimes years — but if you want to change something, you can.
What comes to mind here is learning to say ‘no’, which first requires you to be aware of your own behavior, and then learn to change it without adapting guilty feelings because you say ‘no’ to someone. This was a hard one for me to learn, especially that not-feeling-guilty part, and I am still a work in progress.
Day 47 – 16 February: “Finding wonder in the ordinary: “If we could see the miracle of a single flower, our whole life would change.” – Buddha
Oh my, I love this quote, and it’s something I do every day. Today is the 112th consecutive day of my daily 3km walks. My walk takes me to the river — 600 meters from where we live — and then follows the footpath alongside the river, over two wooden bridges and into a small park. From the park, I return home and cross another bridge over a pond close to home.
Every step of the way, I see things. The water level in the river, ducks on the huge pond where I cross one of those bridges, new life on plants now spring is coming, or back in autumn, trees losing their leaves. I notice the spring flowers — daffodils and snow drops — in the park, the moss on trees, fungi in the underbrush. I see dogs playing, and smile at people out for their daily walks.
Last week Friday, storm Eunice raged over our country, and I was curious about what I would find on my walk on Saturday morning. On the river walk, all was okay, but in the park I could see the real damage. Lots of different sized branches lay on the road, but then I saw it: a tree which was snapped in half.
Poor tree, I thought, feeling sad about it.
Of course Buddha’s quote is not only about nature. We have to see and be thankful for the small things in life, and not always want bigger and better. Being thankful for and content with what you have is freeing!
Day 48 – 17 February: Do you save certain things for special occasions? Impose limits? Create boundaries? Tell yourself no?
I drew a complete blank with this question. Special occasions? I think birthdays, Christmas, Mother’s Day… days like that. We are not big on any kind of special occasions. It’s not like we never celebrate anything, but if we do, we like to just ‘normal’ about it.
Day 49 – 18 February: When have you felt the most free, sexually? Explore that.
The years that our D/s were at its highest point, when we had dates with others, and explored our kinks. Those were the years I felt the most free; the years I could express my sexuality without wondering if I was allowed or whether others approved.
Day 50 – 19 February: Take some time to reflect on the past week. What went well? What felt good? What challenges surfaced? What did you learn?
This past week was the one in which I took the first steps in making life easier for myself.
In the past months I have frequently felt overwhelmed with blogging… the writing, the reading, the commenting. I try to support everyone. If I follow someone, I read their work and comment — both on blogs and Medium. Many times, this made me feel like I was drowning, and since I am building up my hours to go back to working full time again, I needed a new approach. I have found that approach and had no guilty feelings for following it.
Part of this week was difficult because of another of my son’s meltdowns, but in this I have also found my way. I know I can’t help him. I can listen to him, but I am his mother, not his psychologist, and that’s the role I stay in when he has his meltdowns.
Of course I had my happy zen moments again this week, working in my bullet journal. I have a new project in it, called ‘Past Purge’, where I jot down memories of the past. First subject? Addresses where I lived throughout my life. I even remember floor plans of some houses where I lived as a child, and of course I am drawing those!
Day 51 – 20 February: Plan ahead for the coming week. Goals? Plans? Considerations? What would you do differently? The same?
This coming week, instead of four days, I am only working two, because it’s my birthday on Friday. My daughter invited me for dinner on Friday evening, and on those other days I want to sleep and write and read and just relax. I look forward to a bit of downtime, and might even take a drive out with Master T, where we take our cameras with us. It’s been ages since we did that!
© Rebel’s Notes