I believe as we go through life, we learn valuable life lessons. Lessons about the world around us, about other people but most importantly, lessons about ourselves.
I’m always the last
Life takes us on different roads, with unexpected twists and turns. I only think about the twist and turns of my own life journey when I write posts like this one. I always feel — and you will find I have said it several times on this blog — I am the last to ‘get’ something.
Another conviction of mine is that young people today know themselves a lot better then when I was the same age.
During my life, up to somewhere in my early forties, getting to know myself has mostly been on the back burner. My priorities were elsewhere, such as to survive yet another of the curveball life had thrown at me.
Lessons learned, and things I ‘get’
When my life entered calmer waters, my mind had the space to snap in place with lessons I have learned during the hardships I had endured. Also to understand the kind of person I have grown to be.
Allow me to let you in on a secret: I like that person. And no, this isn’t something I constantly think about, as it’s not in my character to boast about myself, but sometimes when I look in the mirror, the conscious thought crosses my mind: I like me.
* Defending sensitivity and kindness
It’s something I had never consciously thought about, until a new manager (after a misunderstanding between colleagues really threw me off balance) said: I see now, you’re a sensitive and kind person.
I reacted the way I always had when people said I was sensitive: I defended myself. Up to then, I had always seen being sensitive as a negative personality trait.
The manager then explained she meant it well, and that she saw how upsetting the situation was for me, and she would always keep that in mind, as it was who I am.
That’s where introspection started, and I realized, yes, I am a sensitive person. I am a kind person, and kind to many people, sometimes even when they don’t deserve it/ Because of my sensitivity and kindness, I easily feel hurt, especially when there’s a hint of injustice. I needed to come to terms with that, and to learn how to live with it. Realizing is one thing, embracing it is a totally different game.
* A loyal empath
With the introspection that followed the manager’s remark, I came to understand more about myself. Not only the sensitivity and kindness — kindness not only in words but also actions — but I realized I soaked up feelings from others, and their feelings influenced mine. It took me a while to understand my empathy for others affected my own mood. The more I read about it — sensitive to sounds, avoiding too many people, when in a busy place needing downtime, etc. — so many things fell in place. I was close to 50 when I realized I’m an empath, and so many other things throughout my life fell into place.
I mentioned ‘loyal’ next to empath. Looking back on past relationships — personal and professional — I realized I had stayed in some of them because of my loyalty, even after I knew I had to get out.
As it is now, I am coming up for my 18th anniversary at the company I work for.
* Work to get what you want
Speaking about work… the title says it all. If you want something, work for it. This is something I already learned in my youth, but I never applied the lesson until way into adulthood. It took some other lessons to really understood the one I had learned when I was much younger, and now I am a firm believer we all have to work for what we want. Whatever it is, whether material or not.
* Taking a step back is not failure
I’ve written about my marriages before, as well as my divorces. My marriage with Master T is my third one, and where I am not proud of my history of two failed marriages, I don’t see those as failures. Yes, I took a step back from a commitment I thought was for life, but there were valid reasons — the love for my children always came in the first place.
In 2018, I also took a step back at work, because my mental health couldn’t handle the stress of the job anymore. That wasn’t a failure either, but something I did for me.
* A multitude of lessons during coaching
In July of this year I started seeing a coach, to prevent another burnout because of the difficult circumstances we are in. This is one of the best things I have done, and I am so grateful to have been offered the opportunity to go to those sessions. I have learned many valuable lessons about myself, and I am still learning. Read posts about my coaching sessions here:
And more will follow!
* A lie has no legs
Master T ones said those who lie have to be exceptionally clever people, as they have to remember who they told which lie. It was something I thought about a lot, and the more I did, the more I understood how correct his words were. One thing I always asked myself is: why lie?
And no, it’s not that I never lied in my life. I have. Sometimes I didn’t understand why I did it, and confessed my lied. Other times I lied because I had to save myself from a difficult situation.
One thing I learned is that the truth always comes out. This conviction was magnified when I discovered a lie my parents had told me at the time I was pregnant with my daughter.
A lies has no legs, and the truth will always prevail.
More lessons to be learned
I expect I am not done learning about life and myself yet. In fact, I believe that life is a series of lessons, mostly about ourselves, and the older we get, the more we accept who we are, and feel confidence in being our true selves.
© Rebel’s Notes
Image from Pixabay