Personal Life Lessons

An image of two hands holding soil and a tiny new plant growing from it, to go with my post about the lessons I learned in my life.

I believe as we go through life, we learn valuable life lessons. Lessons about the world around us, about other people but most importantly, lessons about ourselves.

I’m always the last

Life takes us on different roads, with unexpected twists and turns. I only think about the twist and turns of my own life journey when I write posts like this one. I always feel — and you will find I have said it several times on this blog — I am the last to ‘get’ something.

Another conviction of mine is that young people today know themselves a lot better then when I was the same age.

During my life, up to somewhere in my early forties, getting to know myself has mostly been on the back burner. My priorities were elsewhere, such as to survive yet another of the curveball life had thrown at me.

Lessons learned, and things I ‘get’

When my life entered calmer waters, my mind had the space to snap in place with lessons I have learned during the hardships I had endured. Also to understand the kind of person I have grown to be.

Allow me to let you in on a secret: I like that person. And no, this isn’t something I constantly think about, as it’s not in my character to boast about myself, but sometimes when I look in the mirror, the conscious thought crosses my mind: I like me.

* Defending sensitivity and kindness

It’s something I had never consciously thought about, until a new manager (after a misunderstanding between colleagues really threw me off balance) said: I see now, you’re a sensitive and kind person.

I reacted the way I always had when people said I was sensitive: I defended myself. Up to then, I had always seen being sensitive as a negative personality trait.

The manager then explained she meant it well, and that she saw how upsetting the situation was for me, and she would always keep that in mind, as it was who I am.

That’s where introspection started, and I realized, yes, I am a sensitive person. I am a kind person, and kind to many people, sometimes even when they don’t deserve it/ Because of my sensitivity and kindness, I easily feel hurt, especially when there’s a hint of injustice. I needed to come to terms with that, and to learn how to live with it. Realizing is one thing, embracing it is a totally different game.

* A loyal empath

With the introspection that followed the manager’s remark, I came to understand more about myself. Not only the sensitivity and kindness — kindness not only in words but also actions — but I realized I soaked up feelings from others, and their feelings influenced mine. It took me a while to understand my empathy for others affected my own mood. The more I read about it — sensitive to sounds, avoiding too many people, when in a busy place needing downtime, etc. — so many things fell in place. I was close to 50 when I realized I’m an empath, and so many other things throughout my life fell into place.

I mentioned ‘loyal’ next to empath. Looking back on past relationships — personal and professional — I realized I had stayed in some of them because of my loyalty, even after I knew I had to get out.

As it is now, I am coming up for my 18th anniversary at the company I work for.

* Work to get what you want

Speaking about work… the title says it all. If you want something, work for it. This is something I already learned in my youth, but I never applied the lesson until way into adulthood. It took some other lessons to really understood the one I had learned when I was much younger, and now I am a firm believer we all have to work for what we want. Whatever it is, whether material or not.

* Taking a step back is not failure

I’ve written about my marriages before, as well as my divorces. My marriage with Master T is my third one, and where I am not proud of my history of two failed marriages, I don’t see those as failures. Yes, I took a step back from a commitment I thought was for life, but there were valid reasons — the love for my children always came in the first place.

In 2018, I also took a step back at work, because my mental health couldn’t handle the stress of the job anymore. That wasn’t a failure either, but something I did for me.

* A multitude of lessons during coaching

In July of this year I started seeing a coach, to prevent another burnout because of the difficult circumstances we are in. This is one of the best things I have done, and I am so grateful to have been offered the opportunity to go to those sessions. I have learned many valuable lessons about myself, and I am still learning. Read posts about my coaching sessions here:

And more will follow!

* A lie has no legs

Master T ones said those who lie have to be exceptionally clever people, as they have to remember who they told which lie. It was something I thought about a lot, and the more I did, the more I understood how correct his words were. One thing I always asked myself is: why lie?

And no, it’s not that I never lied in my life. I have. Sometimes I didn’t understand why I did it, and confessed my lied. Other times I lied because I had to save myself from a difficult situation.

One thing I learned is that the truth always comes out. This conviction was magnified when I discovered a lie my parents had told me at the time I was pregnant with my daughter.

A lies has no legs, and the truth will always prevail.

More lessons to be learned

I expect I am not done learning about life and myself yet. In fact, I believe that life is a series of lessons, mostly about ourselves, and the older we get, the more we accept who we are, and feel confidence in being our true selves.

© Rebel’s Notes
Image from Pixabay

Wicked Wednesday

14 thoughts on “Personal Life Lessons

  1. Life is hard, but sometimes it gives you a break. And then you can devote some time to introspection, try to understand who you are and what you can do with it.

  2. It is wonderful to be able to share such honesty in this writing. It is something that honors you.
    I keep reading, sometimes fleetingly, your writings and contemplated the images of other bloggers as well.
    Now I am a little more retired, I need that contact and withdrawal, but I hope to send you again soon, more erotic writings, to share with the public.

  3. Taking a step back is not a failure. Hard lesson, even harder to do. Thanks for sharing Marie. Many great takeaways here.
    Oh, and I think being sensitive was never a negative thing. Only the strongest wear their hearts on their sleeves…

    1. It is a hard lesson, but I am glad I learned it. And I agree with that last statement xox

  4. Great post – i do like the taking a step back is not a failure – i was just telling my youngest this the other day – and if we are lucky we are willing to carry on learning as long as we are living
    May xx

    1. Indeed, I believe we continue to learn for as long as we live, and the older I get, the more I learn about taking steps back, and self-care xox

  5. I like you very much!
    I only know you in the context of your writing and blogging, but you have always been so tremendously supportive of other writers. I think it is a wonderful quality to love what you do, and to be so encouraging to others who share your passion.
    Such a lovely post Marie <3

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words, Jenna. I believe in supporting others, in kindness and respect <3

  6. Thank you for this open and honest post, Marie. As always, it is a pleasure to read what you write. I like what Brigit had to say in her comment. I do hope that you like the woman you see looking back at you in the mirror. I like and respect that woman (you!) a great deal.

    1. Thank you so much for your kind comment, Nora! The feeling is entirely mutual xox

  7. There’s a lot going on in this post…but I think the valuable lesson we share is being able to look in the mirror and genuinely say, “I like the person looking back at me.” That isn’t to say we can’t find flaws or work to improve things. After all, we are all works in progress till the day we die.

    1. I agree, we are all always a work in progress, but I am past the times when I had too many moments I felt gravely unhappy about myself.

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