I want more of the same

A drawing of a woman and a man, she on top of him, indicating sex, to go with my post about wanting more sex.

I am joining in with others – Mrs Jones and Marriage Sex and More – to answer Brigit Delaney’s 30 Dirty Questions. As Brigit said:

These questions will all be about sex in some way and will be the sorts of questions that get a the core of a person’s desires, fears, and experiences. The sorts of questions that could really help you get to know another person.

~ Brigit Delaney

I think these questions serves not only to let you get to know the other person, but also to get you to think about your own preferences, desires, and dislikes.

Question 10: What do you want more of in your sex life?

The answer to this is easy: sex!

But then again, it’s never as simple as that, right?

Health over sex

This is one thing that works the same in every relationship, I’m sure. When someone is having a health issue, health is always more important than sex. We’ve had our fair share of health problems in our time together, where I had a burnout in 2012 and in 2014 I hurt my ankles badly, and Master T had to push me around in a wheel chair, or I had to walk on crutches. Those were only two isolated incidents, which influenced our sex life, but the last five years have been much more turbulent.

We were just getting back to having regular sex again, and I had hope that we would also get back to our D/s again, when Master T had a stroke, and as a consequence of that they discovered thyroid cancer. Sex flew right out the window. In the first few weeks after Master T’s stroke, I frequently thought about sex and masturbated a couple of times. However, with my own stress levels rising, keeping me exhausted all the time, sex is definitely not on my mind anymore.

When we have sex again

Of course, we will get back to having sex again, I am sure of that. We first need to deal with the health issues, and then our sex drives will return. And when it does, I would love to get back to what we had in the beginning of this year: weekly sex, companionship, connection. Currently we have the other two, just not the sex.

Also, what I would love, is if we can build our D/s again, but to be really honest, I sometimes wonder if that ship has sailed. Like I wrote before (), we had kinky sex long before we made our official D/s commitment, and I won’t mind only getting back to that. I know we will never ‘just’ have sex, as there’s always some kind of kinky element to it. And, the way I think about it now, is that I don’t need the formal commitment, or the rules and structure to feel submissive to Master T. I didn’t before, so I can go without it.

Sex with others

Before Master T started having health issues in September 2016, we had quite a number of play dates with other couples, or just men. Those were exciting times, and something I would love to experience again.

That said, if it never happens again, it’s okay too. We have always said that our marriage is the most important, that as long as we are together, things are good, and we are happy. That’s still the case, and even more so now we have the sword of cancer hanging over us. I have nightmares about losing him, so sex with others is definitely not on my list of priorities once we leave this horrible time behind us.

© Rebel’s Notes
Image from Pixabay

5 thoughts on “I want more of the same

  1. It’s sad, but life has its own way of prioritizing. And it immediately becomes clear what is important and what you can do without 🙁

  2. Daddy and I are just starting to face some health issues (on his end), and it’s been quite awhile since we were able to have penetrative sex. I want you to know that the sharing you have done about your situation has really helped me to face this situation bravely and with grace. Thank you, Marie! XOXO

    1. I am sorry to hear about the health problems for your husband, Nora. I hope they are not too serious, and thank you for letting me know my writings help xox

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