In a time where worry fills too many of my days, because of Master T’s health, the 4Thoughts prompt came at exactly the right time. Looking back on best days I’ve had in the past, is a way of reminding me there will be good days again.
Life is good, and all that
‘Life is good’ is something we used to say to each other a lot, even in those years when he was in pain 24/7. It’s not something we have said to each other much this year.
Many of our days, we have to go to one or two appointments in the academic hospital in Rotterdam, where Master T is being treated for thyroid cancer. We make the best of those days. We jokingly call it our special outings, have a drink and a bite in the restaurant inside the hospital, and if possible, go for some downtime at ‘our bistro’ when we go back home.
It’s at night that the fear and worries occupy my mind and keep me awake. Master T always says he’s just letting things happen and that there’s no need to worry about it if you can’t change it.
Even so, I know he also wants to return to ‘life is good’. I know there are times he’s worried too.
But, this post is not about the days filled with worry, but those days I look back upon with a smile on my face, and love in my heart.
Best days regarding family
Since I rambled on about Master T above, the first things that come to mind when I think of ‘best days’ are meeting him, moving in with him, marrying him and the day we made our D/s commitment. I’m sure I can add many special days, but honestly, just being with him makes every day special. I know it’s cheesy, but that’s how it is.
My mind drift to my children and the days they were born. My daughter turns 38 next month, and my son has turned 33 two months ago, and still I can recall every detail of their births. I had never been someone who desperately yearned to be a mom, but those days were two of the best of my life.
Two other births that were just as special were those of my grandsons. I was in the immensely privileged position to be there and witness them coming into this crazy world of ours. I love those two boys to bits!
Other kinds of best days
I look at this space, and feel grateful for the day I created Rebel’s Notes. It grew from a place where I occasionally wanted to put my erotic stories to what it is today — a place not only for my stories but also for actual life events, talking about physical and mental health, and sharing sexy images of myself. Yes, it’s been some time since I shared images, but I will get back to it.
My writing energizes me. People ask me what I do to relax in these difficult times, and I always answer: I write.
Because that helps me to process. To write about the difficult things, because it helps me to process. Or to lose myself in writing a sexy story, which helps to pull my thoughts out of the negative spirals they sometime go.
And, I have expanded my writing beyond this site, as I now also share writings on Medium. I don’t share all of those writings on this space, so please read me there too!
Life will be good again!
I am not a pessimistic person. Never was. In fact, through my life, my optimism pulled me through many bad patches in my life. Of course I had days I didn’t feel optimistic at all, the same as I have those days in our current situation. My optimism is not something I hide behind — that would be like sticking my head in the sand.
I believe good times come after the bad; that things can’t always only be bad. We will continue to make special memories, Master T and I, and many years from now we will sit together, feeling content, and look back on those best days we had in our life.
Life will be good again, no matter where this thing takes us.