Several thoughts on foreplay

Image of a man kissing a woman, to go with my post about foreplay and my thoughts about it.

I am joining in with others – Mrs Jones and Marriage Sex and More – to answer Brigit Delaney’s 30 Dirty Questions. As Brigit said:

These questions will all be about sex in some way and will be the sorts of questions that get a the core of a person’s desires, fears, and experiences. The sorts of questions that could really help you get to know another person.

~ Brigit Delaney

I think these questions serves not only to let you get to know the other person, but also to get you to think about your own preferences, desires, and dislikes.


Question 6: What are your thoughts on foreplay? Favorite types? Best experiences? Wishes?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, foreplay is erotic stimulation preceding sexual intercourse, and according to dictionary dot com it’s sexual stimulation of one’s partner, usually as a prelude to sexual intercourse. But, what is equally important to know is the purpose of foreplay.

The purpose of foreplay is to add sexual excitement, and, especially for women, to help prepare the body for intercourse by increasing vaginal lubrication.

~ Planned Parenthood

Giving and receiving

I love foreplay, both giving and receiving. Besides its mental and physical benefits, to me foreplay is more about the connection that’s being made. Touching each other, kissing, just being together and let it slowly build to something more makes me feel at ease, and allows me to get ready for the next step in my own time.

But it’s not only about receiving, it’s also about giving. Seeing the other enjoying it too, relaxing, and also their need building, is a magical thing. I think I can even go so far as to say that sometimes I prefer only foreplay, with no sex following, simply because the connection already gives me enough satisfaction. But of course, mostly foreplay leads to that point of no return.

Good foreplay, in my opinion, makes the sex even better.

My favorite type of foreplay

The type of foreplay I like the most, is what starts during the day. A kiss here, a look there. A hug that lasts just that bit longer, and where hands roam to cup a bottom, or squeeze a breast. Add sexy words to that, promises of sexy times, or a simple question ‘shall we go to bed on time tonight’, and my juices will already start flowing. This type of foreplay changes the air around me, makes me feel light and sexy and wanted, and even if the sex never happens, it makes for a very happy day.

Following a day like this, I love if we’re in bed and we take our time for each other there too. Not just jump in and go for the first orgasm, but more kissing and fondling, until you can do nothing else but give into the sexual need, and work towards all those orgasms.

Of course foreplay can’t always be like this. Sometimes I like it when Master T just ‘jumps in’ and get me to those orgasms, but mostly I prefer a bit of warm-up, and then kissing and some fondling, to just make the connection, can be more than enough.

Foreplay in menopause

As taken from the quote above, foreplay is also to increase the vaginal lubrication, and this, when in menopause is even more important. If I am not wet enough, and Master T fingers me to several orgasms, by the fifth or sixth the tender flesh of my pussy will start hurting. It’s a burning sensation, and the more he fingers me then, the more it will hurt. The skin is irritated, and it can even last days before the discomfort is gone.

This reminds me that I need to buy lube. Several times in the past months I have said that I should start using lube, not only when Master T and I are having sex, but also when I masturbate. I need to help my body a bit, since the lubrication is in no way the same as it was before.

And even when I do use lube, I will still want the foreplay!

© Rebel’s Notes
Image from Pixabay


6 thoughts on “Several thoughts on foreplay

  1. Wonderful reading as always Marie … and just to say I’ve really had to be using Lube for many years now. I found that as my body became “more mature” I just didn’t naturally generate as much wetness as before. Not a mental thing, just purely my body seemed to have slowed-down quicker than my mind !!!
    Xxx – K

    1. I think we all go the same way with getting wet less as we grow older. Lube it is 😉 xox

  2. I think I should probably buy some lube too, now that you mention it…

    *laugh*

    For me, those physical bits of foreplay work if I’m in the right mood. But *getting into* the right mood requires mental stimulation. If he can push my buttons mentally before he starts trying to undo my buttons on my clothes, things go a lot more smoothly. 😉

    1. Oh you are so right, foreplay gets me nowhere if I am not in the mood… then it feels like ‘work’ 😉

  3. A mi de una manera muy particular, prefiero los juegos previos incluso mas que nada. De hecho podría pasar horas juagando, incrementando y sosteniendo la excitación sexual.
    Algo de lo que mi esposa se queja, porque desea llegar al orgasmo una vez comenzados los juegos.

    En cuanto al tema de la lubricación, es totalmente cierto, que con la menopausia se pierde enormemente y por tanto dificulta mucho penetraciones y otro tipo de prácticas. Y sí, son necesarios lubricantes.

    No obstante, apuntar tan solo, una experiencia que tuvimos mi esposa y yo, hace un par de años, donde ella accedió a someterse por completo, en cuerpo y alma, a jugar en una relación D/s, a todos mis deseos, y comenzó a lubricar de manera constante, pese a que ya había atravesado la menopausia hace tiempo y habían disminuidos sus flujos corporales. Fue tan extraordinario que lo recordaremos siempre, pues nos alentó a juegos, que nunca antes habíamos hecho, y que nos proporcionaron cotas de placer indescriptibles. Dignas de ser contadas.

    Con lo cual me pregunto, sino influye también en la lubricación, una buena, y sobre todo constante excitación, o entrenamiento. Ya se que en la vida diaria o 24/7 del común de los mortales, no es posible estar pensando en sexo, o practicando sexo. Pero en mi caso, para bien y para mal, sí es posible ¿Puede que esté enfermo? No lo creo.

    1. I definitely don’t think you are sick, Rafael, but that you have a healthy way of looking at things. And yes, I also think that the more we have sex, the better the lubrication, even in or after menopause. And if not, then there’s more than enough different kinds of lubes one can use 😉

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