The love of my life

I have written many times before how Master T is the love of my life, and how much he means to me. With all that happened in our life in the past months, but especially weeks, many thoughts have run through my mind. Dark thoughts. Things I fear. The one thing I fear the most.

Losing him.

I push those thoughts away, because if I don’t, they will drive me crazy. I don’t want to think going without him. After all, he’s the love of my life, and I want him with me all through my life.

Instead of dwelling on the things I fear, I want to concentrate on the beautiful things we have. I want to celebrate the man he is; on all the positive things and how he came to be the love of my life.

The love of my life is a good man

Master T is a caring, friendly, unselfish, polite man, who enjoys to have meaningful conversations, even with strangers. Where I am frequently at loss for words with other people, whether I know them or not, he always finds something to say, and he remembers things. When people told him something, he remembers, and he asks about it the next time.

He’s not only kind to or shows interest in others, but also does it with his family, whether aunts or uncles, cousins or us, his closest family. He’s interested in the children and grandchildren, and always has a kind word and a smile for them.

Someone asked me if he is different after his stroke, as sometimes people might have a personality change, but thankfully with him that’s not the case. He’s still the good man I got to know nineteen years ago.

The love of my life is a smart man

He knows such a lot about financial stuff and continues to be interested in it. It takes him more than double the time to read his paper — the Financial Times — in the morning, but he still remembers all he has read. He has a huge amount of knowledge about a huge number of subjects and never fails to surprise me when he digs up that knowledge for whatever reason.

He is incredibly interested in history, and can tell you things from the many books he has read, even when he read that book years ago. And besides this, he knows about music and movies, and can come up with names of songs or artists, or actors in movies in seconds.

With his stroke, he sometimes forgets things or search for words when he speaks, but I have faith that it will return; that it will get better again. His smart mind is not affected; his memory is only a bit slower than it’s been before.

He makes me laugh

I have my silly moments, but seriously, they are in no way as funny as when he has his. He can make me laugh until my tummy aches. Like when he comes into the room and is content with something he has done, and he throws his arms in the air and continues to say “yayyy, yayyy, yayyy”, drawing each ‘yay’ out to the maximum, and saying it in a funny voice. Or, when I have made a joke and he just looks at me, not a hint of a smile on his face. Somehow, this makes me laugh every time!

Oh there are many other things, but bottom line is that he puts a smile on my face always, and sometimes makes me roar with laughter.

He’s always himself

This might be the thing that first drew me to him: him always being himself. From the very first moment I met him, he was… well… him. Today he is still the same as he was back then — no surprises, no ‘discoveries’. He does everything in his own tempo, and won’t be rushed by anyone.

Over the past years, on this blog, I have mentioned many times that the one thing that is important to me, is to always be myself. Before Master T, I frequently changed myself for the person I was with, because I thought that was what they wanted. When I went through my second divorce, I decided that I would never again change myself, and Master T has enforced that through leading by example.

He loves me for who I am

I think in the end this might be the most important thing. He loves me for who I am, supports me in whatever I want to do (within reason of course), and he listens to my opinions. I am the emotional one of the two of us, and even though he is a very rational person, he will put his arms around me and hug me when I need it. Master T has never made me feel like I am not good enough, and I know he never will.

From the very beginning of our relationship, we were on equal ground, even though we agreed not to be.

He just is my person

He is. He’s my everything, my person, the love of my life. He’s the first one I see in the morning, and the last I see at night, and that’s how I want it to be, forever. I’m focusing on the light, not thinking of what could’ve happened or what might happen in future. The light helps to keep the dark thoughts out, and if they don’t, Master T just has a silly moment, makes me laugh and I forget all about my fears!

© Rebel’s Notes
Image from Pixabay

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13 thoughts on “The love of my life

  1. I’m there with you. My Queen was talking about her dying the other day—such a morbid topic! I chose not to engage in that conversation. Like you, I’m hoping we have a long life together.

  2. These area all the exact reasons I love Mr. D. And I fully get your terror over losing hiim. I have that fear all the time… When you’re that in love, connected, attached, and just one with each other, it’s impossible to envision not having that person. But focusing on the things you have now is a good way to get your mind away from the fear.

    1. We certainly are fortunate, and acknowledge that to each other frequently 🙂 xox

    1. Meeting him has totally changed my life and steered it in a different (better) direction 🙂

  3. This is one of the most beautiful posts I have ever read! You love is palpable, Marie. Master T sounds like an incredibly human being…and the two of you are so lucky in love. While I know you wrestle with fears of losing him…I hope the two of you have many happy years to come. Thank you for sharing so much love this morning <3

    1. Thank you for your kind words, Nora, and I too hope we will have many years to come, now even more than ever xox

  4. So much love in this post, you are so blessed to have found your person (and obviously, he is to have found you too)

    I’m so pleased to hear that the stroke hasn’t changed him, that he just needs to pause and wait for the thoughts to come back to him. This is wonderful news! Sending much love to you both N xx

    1. He’s a fighter, even though it doesn’t look so on the outside 🙂
      Much love to you too, N xox

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