Patience is a virtue

A photo of stones stacked on each other to go with the post about patience.

The word patience always makes me smile.

I am not a very patient person. When it’s been decided to do something, whether only by me or between me and Master T, or even at work with a colleague, I want to do it now. I don’t want to wait. Master T, however, is a very patient person, sometimes so much so, that I get totally impatient because of his patience.

But, I am not as bad as I once was, and that’s the reason the word makes me smile, because Master T has taught trained me well.

Training in patience

Back when we made our D/s commitment, both Master T and I went into a kind of frenzy, wanting to play every night. We did, but quickly knew that we would soon burn out. We talked about things we wanted to do, and that’s where my impatience started to rear its head. When something we talked about didn’t happen, the next day or two days after I would hint at it, and sometimes just blatantly asked if Master T still wanted to do it. Over and over he told me I needed to be patient, but I still asked.

Then he decided it was time to train me in patience. This was only a couple of months into our D/s, and these are the posts I have written back then:

Besides the training Master T put me through, he leads by example. Like I said, he’s an extremely patient person, and over the years I have taken over some of his ‘habits’ or simply followed his example.

Life teaches you to be patient

Life happens.

And when life happens, it doesn’t always have to go according to plan. Unexpected things can happen. An accident. The loss of a job. A family member gets ill, or you yourself come down with something. And when those unexpected things happen, we have to deal with it.

In the past years, quite a couple of unexpected things happened in my life. First Master T started having problems with his leg, which had him go through a slight depression, limited his ability even more than it already was, and those problems took four years before we were to the point that we could say it’s okay again. A couple of months after these problems started, my mom got ill, and she passed away just more than five months after we found out she had lung cancer.

The year after she passed, I went through a really bad time. And then, more recently, problems with my son (which are still ongoing), and a new health challenge for Master T. And just to top that off, this week my oldest tested positive for Covid, a day after she visited us for the afternoon. No, she wasn’t sick when she was with us. So we are currently in quarantine.

Like I said, life happens. Many of the above has also caused us to push D/s to the back burner, because other things were more important. It was never really gone, but very little happened. Talk about a patience training, right?

It’s worth the wait

I’m a more patient person now than I ever have been. Part of it might be because of aging, but I think many of it is because of following Master T’s example — whether it’s his character or the training — and because of the events of the past years. There was no way I could force things. With Master T in pain 24/7, there was no way I was going to ‘moan’ about D/s. I was far too concerned about him.

Oh, I did mention it a couple of times, but only when it came up in a conversation with Master T and we both agreed that we missed it. Also, him putting my night collar around my neck every night we went and go to bed, definitely helped with being patient.

And it’s worth the wait. The past months have been so good. No, we are in no way back to D/s, but he has that warning look in his eyes again when I tease him a bit. Besides that, our sex life has slowly started to pick up pace again. As said, Master T now has a new health challenge, so our sex life is back to nothing again, but the past months have shown me it will be back again.

Patience will get me there, as it definitely is a virtue!

© Rebel’s Notes
Image from Pixabay

12 thoughts on “Patience is a virtue

  1. Like you, I think I have become more patient over time. I recognise that frenzy though and sometimes wish I was back with that same energy and drive. Life has certainly taken it from you these past few years so I am glad that you are playing the long game! Missy x

    1. I hope to get back to the energy and drive, to feel the frenzy again, but until that happens, well… I will just be patient xox

  2. Life does, indeed, have a way of forcing our patience. It moves as quickly or slowly as it wants, and no amount of tantrums will make it move otherwise. I think many of us learn to quell those fits of impatience because we have to. I’ve never been patient. But, like you, I’m improving. We are all works in progress.

    1. Oh you are so right, works in progress. We do get to know ourselves better, right?!

  3. I have never been particularly patient until i met my man – then i needed patience or not have him at all. He is far more patient than me – I really like the sound of those patience training posts – not read them b4 – will have to pop over
    May xx

  4. Such a lovely post Marie … and as you say, I think advancing “maturity” does give us more “experience” that sometimes, and in some occasions, it is definitely more worthwhile in the end to recognise that what will be will be. Without trying to force the issue and just “do it now”.
    Xxx – K

  5. My patience has improved dramatically as I’ve aged. These days it takes much more to get me off my game. But, when I do… I don’t know why this has changed. I’m thinking age, maturity, perspective, kids gone so less stress? Likely a combination of all of this and more. Or it is because these days we’re having sex daily. That can take the edge off too. Either way, I like the new found patience I have.

    1. I think much of it comes with age, and maybe also because we let the young ones run the rat race, and we are comfortable just doing our thing, not wanting to climb any ladders anymore. But also kids gone, so less stress, yes, I think that plays a part too. I too like the more patient me… makes for less stress to just allow things to happen.

  6. One of my former Dom friends wanted me to learn patience for him…and he assigned me two books on patience to read. One was rubbish, but the other was a gem of a book. I too can be impatient but do feel that I am learning (whether from age or circumstance, who knows). Great post, Marie!

    1. Thanks, Nora 🙂
      I am grateful my husband taught me to be more patient, as it does bring a certain inner peace. But even so, I can sometimes still have my impatient moments 😉

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