Almost a year ago, in May 2020, I wrote about my sex drive being gone. After years of not having sex much, my libido had dwindled and eventually sort of disappeared. Much has happened in the past year, but my libido continues to be a fickle thing.
Sex made my libido return
It was sometime in that same month that Master T admitted his leg was starting to feel better again. It took a couple of months more, but then slowly our sex life re-ignited again. Every weekend we made love. We fucked. Enjoyed each other. From the deep recesses of my mind, my sex(y) thoughts returned, and with it, my libido.
It wasn’t as strong as before, but as the months went on and the more sex we had, my sex drive grew stronger. I started thinking about masturbation again, and many nights when we went to bed, I couldn’t wait for Master T to lay a hand on me.
It never returned to full strength
Like I said above, my libido wasn’t as strong as before. Where it had returned, and I definitely looked forward to sex again, once a week was more than enough for me. In the past we frequently had sex two to three times a week, regardless if we had to work the next day or not. Now we were only having sex on Saturday nights.
Where Master T wasn’t in pain anymore, which had him more interested in sexual fun, I was still dealing with the situation surrounding my son. That frequently had my mind so occupied, that there was no room for anything sexy. It even happened some Saturday evenings that we the mood was killed because of an emergency situation with my son. After phone calls of anything between half an hour to two hours to talk him down, nothing sexy remained in my mind. A real mood killer.
This also meant that some Saturday nights I was not in the mood at all, but allowed Master T to get me there. Sometimes it just took for him to touch me, and for me to push the thoughts about life from my mind, to relax and enjoy our intimacy.
We’re back to no sex
Like I said in a recent post, with Master T having a stroke, the first thing that went out the door was our sex and D/s. Obviously sex is the last thing on your mind when you have to get used to some parts of your body not functioning the way they did before.
Master T is not a talker. His approach is that things are what they are, and those things that are a logical result of what happened, don’t need to be discussed. And honestly, what is there to discuss. I can hardly ask him something like ‘now you had a stroke, I take it sex is off the table again’. I mean, I know it is, so why ask it, and make it sound like an accusation?
But, it’s not only him. It’s me too. Seeing him have the stroke was one of the scariest things of my life. It brought on all those fears and thoughts of having to continue life without him. I don’t even want to think about it. It reminded me all to clearly of our mortality; how vulnerable life is. I don’t care about sex. I only care about having him with me.
What if we were younger?
A thought has crossed my mind: it’s not only circumstances, but also our age that influenced our libido. I’m 54, and Master T 56, and I think it’s only natural that your sex drive dwindle when you get older. I think, had we been younger, either one or both of us would’ve found it a lot harder to have a low libido than now we’re older.
Or maybe it has nothing to do with age, and it’s just that we are content with being together, even without sex?
Master T’s libido had never been high, and had always needed some kind of inspiration to be… there. One thing that had surprised me when he told me, is that in the years he had been single, he almost never masturbated. He seriously can go without sex for a long time, just as much as he can have sex several nights a week, if the circumstances are right.
We can do this again
We have gone through this before, a longer period with little to no sex. In that time I have been the one who occasionally masturbated, something I currently don’t even want to think of. It’s not like I never want sex again, but for now my libido has take a backseat, and will do so until Master T’s health is better again, and I have gotten rid of the fatigue after Covid19.
We’ve done this before, returned from a very low sex life to being fairly active, and we can do it again.
© Rebel’s Notes
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