Back when we had the virtual Christmas party for The SafeworD/s Club, we played the game ‘two truths and a lie’. When it was my turn, I had no idea what to say. They easily guessed the lie, as I shared something I had already written about.
The thing is, it’s no better now than it was back then. The prompt for Wicked Wednesday now is ‘two truths and a lie’, and for days now I have been wondering what to write. Some things I think about, have already been on my blog, and other things I just don’t want to write about. I will much rather keep it to myself, at least for now.
Does that make it a lie?
When you keep something to yourself, not wanting to share it with others at that moment, or maybe ever, does it make it a lie? Here I don’t mean when you don’t share it on your blog, but when you keep it from people who think they are ‘entitled’ to know. Like family. Or friend, or even sometimes colleagues.
What if they find out later? Will the accuse you of being a liar because you haven’t shared something? I have kept information from people before, for various reasons. There were times I thought it just had nothing to do with them, and other times when I didn’t think telling them would contribute anything. Did that make me a liar, because I only told them as much as I thought was necessary to know?
What if the truth is perceived a lie?
Recently something happened.
Wait, let me take a step back… if you have been reading here for more than just a few months, you will know that Master T started having problems with his leg in September 2016. In January 2017 we learned my mom was gravely ill. In 2017 Master T went through a depression and in 2018 I collapsed mentally, not able to work through the grief after my mom’s passing. All this time, Master T still battled with his leg. By May 2020 there finally was an improvement, and life started smiling at us again. Until in November 2020 I learned about my son’s mental health problems, which had started in April 2020. My son was finally admitted to a clinic on 5 March 2021, where he still is.
And then on 14 March 2021, our life turned upside down again.
No, I am not ready to share, but when I had to inform my work about it, I wondered if they would even believe me. They did.
But what if you tell someone something which is 100% the truth, but they don’t believe it, because I mean… just look at the above. It seems a bit much, doesn’t it?
Your truth is not my truth
I know there are people who hate this saying, but just think about it for a while, and read Zadie Smith’s words.
None of us have the same past. Yes, my past might more or less look the same as my brother’s, since we grew up together, but because we are individuals, each with our own feelings, our own personality, he might have experienced identical things totally differently. He was angry at my mom for things that happened when we were teens, while I never understood his anger. You can say that our truths — his and mine — differ quite a lot when it comes to our childhood. I can’t tell him that his truth is wrong, the same way he can’t say mine is.
It happened before, that someone tried to assign me a truth that wasn’t mine, and then expected me to defend that truth. I chose to take a step back, to not interact with them anymore, refusing to allow anyone to tell me what they think my truth is. I know what my truth is, and if you care enough about me, you will ask me what it is, and not try to force something onto me. If I would accept that, it will make the truth you assign me one big fat lie.
So yes, my truth is mine, and your truth is yours, because they are influenced by our past, by our experiences, by our personalities. There might be some common ground in our truths, but there will always be differences, and those should be respected
Two truths and a lie
Since I did want to at least try to follow the prompt, I have made a list of things I can share, so let’s see if this works. Tell me which of the following three is the lie:
- I had sex with my cousin when we were both teenagers.
- Up to now I have never had sex with two men at the same time.
- I have allowed several men to finger me to orgasm in public places.
All of those sentences — not only the lie — made me blush!
© Rebel’s Notes
Image from Quotefancy