This is the rework of a self-published auto-biographical story (2008), rewritten for this blog. Names of characters have been changed.
Content warning: mental and physical abuse, misogyny.
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.
Odette and Rachelle (2)
Continued from… Odette and Rachelle (1)
Annie knew that both Fred and Odette clearly heard the invitation. Conflicting emotions and thoughts confused Annie. She thought about Joy and remembered how Fred reacted when Joy wanted to go to a room with her — he had forbidden her back then. From the way he had looked at Rachelle, she realized he would forbid her once more.
Another thought crossed her mind: Odette was in love with Rachelle. Since Annie considered Odette to be a friend, she didn’t want to betray her confidence, and even more since she had already seen the hurt in Odette’s eyes.
Lastly, Annie had no desire to be alone with Rachelle. Annie didn’t like what she had seen in the last two hours. Rachelle wasn’t in love with Odette, but with the sex they had. Rachelle was also far too keen to be with Fred and she would too easily drop Odette for that. Annie had no proof of this — it was only a hunch. A deep rooted feeling. In a matter of seconds, Annie had to make a decision. With all her heart, she hoped that it was the right one.
“It would be a lot more fun if the four of us go to the bedroom together,” was her answer to the suggestion.
“If you don’t go with me now, you will never again have the opportunity,” Rachelle said patronizing.
“Oh yes,” Annie corrected her, “I will have the opportunity right not when the four of us are together in the bedroom.”
“No, Annie. I want to be alone with me. This is your last chance.”
Annie stuck to her point of view. She felt so proud, knowing she was acting exactly the way she knew Fred expected of her. What a mistake! The conversation between Rachelle and Annie was hardly over when Fred smilingly stretched his arm out in Rachelle’s direction. Annie and Odette recoiled.
“Come, Rachelle. These two can amuse themselves in Annie’s room. You and I are going to have some fun!” Fred said. His expression was a mix of warning and challenge when he looked at Annie’s.
Hand in hand, Fred and Rachelle disappeared. Annie and Odette only recovered from their stupor when the door to the main bedroom slammed shut behind the other two. What had just happened?
Annie was terrified. She knew she had gambled and she had lost. Why did Fred do what he just did? What did she do wrong?
“Come, Odette,” she decided to make the best of it. She hoped that by this she would be able to prevent Fred’s eventual rage, “let’s go to my room.”
They couldn’t0 do it. Neither Annie nor Odette could pretend they were in the mood.
“Annie, how can Rachelle be so mean? She told me she loved me. How could she just go with him?” Odette moaned.
“Odette, you know by now Fred can’t leave any woman alone until she has been in his bed. It’s not really Rachelle’s fault,” Annie defended the woman whom she didn’t like.
“Yes, but I have warned her that he’s like this. She promised me she would not give in to any of his whims,” Odette continued her complaining.
“Odette, I have a problem too,” Annie said, gritting her teeth when loud sounds of moaning and fucking came from the main bedroom. Odette looked at Annie with an intense sadness in her eyes, while it sounded like Rachelle was having the time of her life.
“Yes,” Odette said before Annie could say another word, “I know. Your problem is Fred. I never knew how to say this, so I’ll just say it. Annie, you have to leave here. You’re not the same girl I knew when you and Joe were still together. Get away from here, my friend. You have to. You owe it to yourself. Only you can end this!” Odette pleaded.
Annie had tears in her eyes.
“I know it’s the best for me if I leave, Odette. But how? Fred scares me so much, and at the same time, I have this stupid soft spot for him.”
“I’ve noticed that, Annie. But that’s just it. You have to end all of this before he totally destroys you,” Odette said. She was very serious.
Annie knew Odette was right. She had known for a long time. She only wished she knew where to start. How should she go about it? She almost immediately started to make compromises with herself to delay the moment of her departure. She thought of more ways to give Fred a chance to prove to her he really wanted her around. Maybe she would wait until Fran was released from the hospital. Maybe she should wait until Christmas. Or maybe until after they have celebrated the New Year? On the other hand, would it not be better to stay until her birthday in February? Maybe then Fred would show her how much he really loved her?
To be continued… Gaining strength
© Rebel’s Notes