I have been thinking about this a lot lately — the foundation of our relationship, and our D/s. One word kept on repeating in my mind, over and over: love. Love definitely is the foundation, but there ‘s more.
When I refer to our relationship, I include everything Master T and I have together. This includes our marriage, our D/s, our friendship — everything. I have said many times before on this site that Master T is my everything, and that I cannot imagine a life without him. We are husband and wife, Dom and sub, lovers, soul mates, best friends. We ‘play’ these roles every day, sometimes being more the one than the other, but all of these are included in every day Master T and I spend together.
Love is not the only foundation
In the introductions I mentioned that love is not the only foundation. There are more, such as respect and honesty.
Master T and I both come from difficult relationship backgrounds. In fact, when we started talking to each other, I was still waiting for my divorce to be final, and there was no future anymore for the relationship he was in. We both needed a breather, needed to find our own freedom again. It took about a year and a half before we were ready to make the commitment to each other. In that time, we got to know each other better, and unknowingly one of the foundations for our marriage was created: to always be true to ourselves. Where in previous relationships I tried to be what was expected of me, with Master T I was always just me.
In that year and a half, I had several sexual encounters, and told Master T everything. It was his request; I wasn’t trying to hurt him or make him jealous. He wanted me to go out and enjoy life, and to share what I did. He was never negative about my encounters. In fact, it mostly lead to some sexy online chats between us, and later to some fabulous sex. Looking back, I can see where respect and friendship became part of our foundation too.
Then D/s happened
We were married on 1 November 2005. Even before I moved in with Master T, and also before and after our wedding day, kink was part of our life. We officially made our D/s commitment on 29 January 2011.
From that very first day we agreed: our marriage always comes first. I guess you can say the main foundation our D/s relationship is built on, is our marriage. This automatically means that every foundation of our marriage applies to our D/s. If our D/s ever fails, we will still have our marriage. To be honest, with the status of our D/s in the past years, I have many times wondered whether we should ‘dissolve’ our D/s and return to having a marriage with kinky elements. I always come to the same conclusion: No, I want to be both his wife and his sub.
Always us, another foundation
I guess what I am trying to say in this post, is that we always place us central in everything we do. We focus on each other. We are committed to each other in every aspect of the word. When we allowed others into our relationship, we made one rule: to always be together. Never will I have a date with either a woman or a man without Master T being in the same room as I am. This is not because we don’t trust each other, but because we want to share the experience.
We are each other’s equals, until we are not. In our marriage, as husband and wife, as friends, as soul mates, we are equal to each other. One is not more important than the other. In our D/s, I choose to submit to Master T. I choose to then not be his equal. In reality this filters through to our daily lives too, as I allow Master T to make decisions on several fronts, such as money matters.
I believe that our foundations are good; they are what works for us. We enjoy being together always. I sometimes read about other couples complaining when they are couped up in the same house for too long (like now when many people work from home), but we just can’t relate. Sometimes we don’t talk to each other for hours, even being in the same room, but there’s never a strained atmosphere between us.
We have fun together, we laugh together, and we support each other in difficult times. We love each other, respect each other, and are committed to a life together forever. I submit to Master T, and even when I do so, I feel like his equal. It’s something we have together, something that had made the bond between us even stronger.
What we have together is good. It makes me experience moments when I just look at Master T for several minutes (he’s mostly unaware of that), thinking of how much I love him, and how privileged I am to have this life with him.
Life might not always be easy, but life with Master T is good.
* This image has a significant meaning to both me and Master T. I showed him this image when I wrote this post, and he instantly remembered that night: 29 January 2011, the night we made our D/s commitment.
© Rebel’s Notes
Image from Tumblr