This is the rework of a self-published auto-biographical story (2008), rewritten for this blog. Names of characters have been changed.
Content warning: mental and physical abuse, misogyny.
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.
Disaster struck again
Continued from… Annie’s operation
Fran seemed sincerely happy that Annie was home again, even though her generous smile disappeared when she heard Fred’s words.
“Annie will spend the night with me,” he told Fran, “I’ve had enough of you again.”
That evening Fran tried to start up a trio. She was a bit off balance, because she had too much to drink. She accidentally pushed against Annie’s tummy with her elbow, which caused Annie to inhale sharply when the pain shot through her.
“Fuck off, you stupid drunken cow! Go to your bed and keep your hands off Annie!”
Fred was furious, but once Fran had left the room, he was ever so sweet and loving towards Annie. Just like in the beginning of their relationship, she fell asleep with her head on his shoulder.
Softly Fred woke her later.
“Do you have to go to the bathroom?” he asked.
When Annie nodded, he stood up, walked around the bed and helped her up. Back in bed, he arranged the pillows behind her back and under her knees. The he turned his back on her and went to sleep.
Annie felt happier than she was in a very long time. Again, she convinced herself Fred did love her and that this strange relationship would turn out to be a success.
Her feeling of immense happiness shattered in a million pieces. The concerned Fred of the evening before made place for the old Fred. Regardless of the fact it hurt when she moved, Fred wanted sex. While he pounded inside her, Annie cried softly, but didn’t stop until he had climaxed. After that, he took a bath, dressed himself and walked out of the room. Annie had to struggle to get out of bed by herself.
She was deeply disappointed. One thought kept on circling through her mind: There was only one reason why Fred wanted her home, because he wanted his sex toy within reach.
“It means nothing to him that I did the operation primarily for him. It means nothing to him that I’ll do anything to make him love me again,” Annie said to her mirror image, while tears ran down her cheeks.
On this day, Fred received his medal for ten years of good service in the Air Force. Protocol prescribed that the commanding officer of the unit, in an official military parade, would hand out the medals. Annie and Fran — the latter took off from work for this opportunity — attended this parade.
At the function, in honor of the recipients of the medals and their families, Annie was introduced to everyone as Fran’s cousin. She blushed when she caught suspicious glances in her direction, as if people knew she was the mistress of this married couple.
While she stood next to Fred, nibbling at some of the snacks, questions ran round and round in her mind: how long would she be able to keep this up? Being in a relationship, unappreciated? How long would she be able to hide from reality?
“I don’t think she’s going to make it. Not as it’s now,” the owner of the neighboring smallholding said. He was talking about the cow, which at that moment was calving. However, the poor cow had been at it for more than twelve hours by then.
“I think you should call a veterinarian,” the man advised.
The phone rang before Fred could make a move. With a nod, he signaled to Annie to answer the phone, even though he was closer to it. When she walked over to the phone, Annie noticed the tape recorder was ready to record the conversation.
“Hello, this is Annie.”
She stiffened. Oh no! Oh no! No! No! No!!!
Annie’s stepfather was on the other side of the line. Many thoughts raced through her mind, all at the same time. A week before her operation she had called him, because his youngest daughter, Nicky, had called Annie out of the blue and asked her to do it. Her stepfather was out of work and he was suffering from a depression. Nicky had asked her to try and cheer him up. During their conversation, Annie had told him about her upcoming operation. She had mentioned the awkward circumstances she was living in. Annie had also told her stepfather that Fred had forbidden her to have any contact with him. Since she didn’t want to risk him calling her on the smallholding, Annie hadn’t given him her telephone number. Now this! She didn’t know whether she should be afraid or angry.
“Annie, it’s me. Sorry, girl. I know I shouldn’t call you, but this is an emergency. I just moved here and I need a place to stay…”
“No honey, don’t get me wrong. I’m not asking to stay with you.”
From the corner of her eye, Annie saw Fred was listening attentively. The neighbor had already left.
“Can I call you back later?” she asked. “I’m very busy at this moment.”
Her stepfather gave her his number. Annie wasn’t planning to call him back. She hung up. She expected an immediate reaction from Fred, but he sat paging through the telephone directory.
“Help me find the telephone number of a veterinarian,” he requested in a neutral voice.
Annie did what he asked and shortly after, he was on the phone. He spoke to someone at the Faculty of Animal Medicine at the local university. They promised a veterinarian would come to the smallholding as soon as possible.
“Call the person who just called you,” Fred ordered. His voice was still calm.
“No,” Annie said, “there’s no need to do that.”
“Because I don’t want to talk to him. And it will only cause a drama between you and me, because you won’t believe me anyway,” Annie said, adopting an offensive attitude.
To be continued… Annie’s stepfather
© Rebel’s Notes