This is the rework of a self-published auto-biographical story (2008), rewritten for this blog. Names of characters have been changed.
Content warning: mental and physical abuse, misogyny.
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.
Continued from… Helena (8)
In her diary, Annie jotted down the appointment that she had just made for 10 o’clock the next morning: Doctor Foster, Plastic Surgeon.
Her thoughts wandered back to the conversation she had with Fred the day before.
“Have you gained weight again?” Fred asked with a snarl.
“No,” Annie answered, not sensing what was coming.
“Why are you looking like a small pig then? Your belly is so much bigger again!”
“It’s not bigger. I’m still at the same weight than last week,” Annie said offended.
“Then it must be because I can’t bear to look at it that makes me think you’re fatter again,” Fred said in his mean way.
Annie didn’t answer him.
“Your body revolts me even more than before you lost weight. It’s because of that ugly loose skin hanging on your belly.”
He looked down at her stomach, and theatrically shrugged.
“Brrr, I don’t want to be seen with you. If you didn’t have that wobbly belly… yes then, then I would be proud of you!”
Right on time, Annie walked into the consulting room of the plastic surgeon. She explained about the diet she had followed, and how quickly she had lost weight. He asked her to undress to her panties and bra as he wanted to do a physical examination.
“Yes,” the doctor said after the examination and when Annie sat across from him at his desk, “what you have on your stomach is a piece of loose skin due to losing a lot of weight in a fairly short time. There’s not a grain of fat in it. It will be a successful operation. I give you my word.”
Annie discussed the cost with the doctor. They arranged that Annie would call him to set a date for the operation as soon as she had the money for it.
Fred and Annie sat on either sides of the bed, watching Fran packing Fred’s suitcase. He would be gone for a couple of days, since he had to visit another office.
“While I’m gone, you have to call Odette,” Fred ordered Annie.
Odette was the friend of the sister in law of Annie’s father. Odette was married before, and had two daughters from that marriage. She had divorced her husband when she admitted she was lesbian, and only got married because society expected it of her. The week before, at Odette’s request, Annie had sent her an entry form, which they had received back the day before.
“I will,” Annie agreed.
“And,” Fred laughed, looking from his wife to Annie, “the two of you shouldn’t have too much sex while I’m away. I don’t want you to be too tired when I return.”
“No, honey,” Fran assured him, “we will make sure there’s enough left for you. But we are going to have sex every evening, right Annie?”
“Yes, of course,” Annie laughed.
She knew beforehand that neither she nor Fran would do it. They were both deeply looking forward to the relaxation they knew they would have while Fred was gone.
It was the first evening with Fred gone. Fran had quite a couple of drinks and started to fiddle with Annie. An almost unvarnished irritation took hold of Annie.
“Fran, I’m not in the mood. Come on, let’s just relax?”
“Yes, but,” Fran spoke with a lisp, “I feel like it. I want you, even if it’s only the booze causing it.”
It was the first time that Fran almost admitted she needed booze to have sex with Annie — or any other woman for that matter. Since Fred wasn’t home and Fran was too tipsy to notice, Annie didn’t have to hide her irritation for this woman. Luckily, the movie they wanted to watch on television started. Fran turned her attention to that.
A deep relief washed over Annie.
Fortunately Fred was home again that evening. Annie’s irritation towards Fran had almost erupted. After their days without Fred, Annie knew for sure that she would never have chosen Fran as a friend. Not even in this stage where Annie was alienated from all her friends, colleagues and family.
Fred did a good job of that, isolating her to her life on the smallholding. Whenever she raised an idea to visit a cousin or a friend of hers, Fred came with a better plan. He never told her out right that she wasn’t allowed to go, but normally softened her up by saying that he wanted to spend quality time with her. What happened then was that Annie changed her plans and stayed on the smallholding. By the time she came to realize what Fred was doing, it had been so long ago she had visited her family and friends that she didn’t feel welcome to go anymore. She was ashamed of the fact that she had neglected them.
Her unfriendly feelings towards and nasty thoughts about Fran proved to Annie the only thing keeping her on the smallholding was her waning feelings for Fred. On the other hand, wasn’t it only her fear for Fred that kept her there?
“And? Did you call Odette?” Fred wanted to know.
“Yes,” Annie informed him, “and she was very keen to spend a night with us on the smallholding.”
“We have to call her for an appointment,” Annie answered and added, a slightly nasty tone in her voice, “because she has a busy social life.”
“Where’s Odette’s entry form?”
Annie went inside to get the file with all the club letters, and handed Odette’s form to Fred. She was home alone with Fred — Fran was still at her work.
“Are you coming along?” Fred asked her after he sat there staring at Odette’s entry form for a while.
“I want to see where Odette lives.”
“Yes, I’m coming.”
To be continued… Odette (2)
© Rebel’s Notes