This is the rework of a self-published auto-biographical story (2008), rewritten for this blog. Names of characters have been changed.
Content warning: mental and physical abuse, misogyny.
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.
Continued from… Helena (5)
A woman in her fifties, more than 20 years Annie’s senior, was another Fred was keen to share his bed with, but she didn’t fall for his charms either.
Myra wrote a nice, captivating letter. She lived in the city, not far from where Fran worked. With her entry form, she had also included a photo of herself. Myra – an attractive woman – wrote that she and her boyfriend were looking for a woman to join her and her boyfriend. She was honest in having no experience with other women, but said she was confident she would know how to handle it.
Fred desperately wanted to be her personal tutor, showing her the tricks of the trade. He dismissed the fact that Myra had written they were looking for a woman, and told Fran to call her. In several phone conversations Fran suggested for Myra to visit them on the smallholding without her boyfriend, but Myra always resolutely declined. They never met her in person.
Fred was grouchy. Annie and Fran stayed as far away from him as possible, keeping busy in the kitchen. Eventually they couldn’t escape him anymore.
“You just don’t learn, do you?” he burst out
“What are you talking about, Fred?” Fran asked.
“You never do anything spontaneously. Only when I tell you we have to do something about our sex life, the two of you make an effort. Then after two or three weeks you think you’ve satisfied this bastard again and you’re lax again.”
Fran wanted to protest, but Fred gave her no opportunity for it.
“You think I’m an asshole, but you’re wrong. This time you went too far.”
“What do you mean?” There was doubt in Fran’s voice, something that almost never happened. She had an anxious foreboding. This feeling was confirmed within the next couple of seconds.
“I’m visiting Helena tomorrow. I’m going to her, because she at least is willing to make love to me. The two of you obviously not!”
With this the conversation, which unchained different feelings in both Annie and Fran, ended. Fred refused to say anything else about it.
Annie went to bed, a sick feeling filling her entire being.
She had reached the weight the doctor had suggested. Annie was at the doctor’s office again to have herself weighed by the doctor’s assistant. In total, she had lost ten kilograms.
“Do you want to see the doctor again next week?” the nurse asked.
“If you want to lose more weight, you can start with another cycle next week, but for that you have to see the doctor again,” the nurse explained.
“No,” Annie declined. She already thought she looked too thin, now weighing only 53 kilograms. “I don’t want that. People might think I’m anorexic.”
“A wise decision.”
Even though she was happy about the weight she had lost, Annie didn’t feel happy. The knowledge that Fred might be in bed with Helena at that very moment, overshadowed her happiness.
After her first visit to the smallholding, it was abundantly clear Helena had fallen in love with Fred. She called almost every day. At first, she also chatted to Annie and Fran, but later she only wanted to hear Fred’s voice. Fred would only give one of the women the phone to chat to Helena when he wasn’t in the mood to listen to her, but this only happened on one or two occasions.
Even though Fred had pretended his visit to Helena was an impulsive one, both Annie and Fran had noticed the relationship developing between them. Fran noticed this before Annie had, as she had experienced this in the past too. To Annie it almost came as a complete surprise, and she relied on Fran to find a solution. However, Fran was as lost as Annie was. Fred had tried to justify his visit to Helena, which was the reason he accused them of not keeping his sex life interesting enough.
Annie refused to feel guilty. She knew she had done nothing wrong. Fred was the one who had to feel guilt, for the way he was treating his wife and so-called fiancée. Annie was very disappointed in him. Again. However, she was also disappointed in Helena.
Her disappointment in the Greek woman grew even bigger when Fred elaborated on his encounter with her.
“… and then she opened the door in see-through lingerie. I kissed her at the front door and quickly undressed her. Our clothing ended up on the floor of the hallway and the living room. The sex was fabulous. That woman knows how it should be done. The two of you can learn a lot from her.”
Fred noticed Annie’s envy, which broadened his smile; increased his satisfaction. His crooked mind told him this way he would win her over to be only his. He wanted to own her. Wanted her to be fully devoted to him.
However, all Fred really reached with his visit to Helena and his cruel recap of the events, was to increase Annie’s feeling of resentment and hate towards him.
But, he didn’t know this.
To be continued… Helena (7)
© Rebel’s Notes