Setting goals and a theme for 2021

An image with 'self care' written in Scrabble letters, as part of my post about setting goals for 2021.

I don’t like making New Year’s resolutions, because those always seem to have something to do with diet or exercise, and knowing myself, I quickly lose sight of it and return to my ‘bad habits’. What I do like though, is setting goals for the year, and the result from that can be that I drop some of my bad habits.

It’s actually funny how it works right, because at the bottom of the line the goals I set may look like New Year’s resolutions but if I call them that, I might pay them no attention, opposed to when I call them goals. I am sure there’s food for psychologists in that!

The rest of this post will focus on:

  • Setting blogging goals for 2021
  • Setting relationship goals for 2021
  • Setting personal goals for 2021
  • Revealing my theme for 2021

Blogging goals

During 2020, I have (re-) learned what I want from blogging. For too long (literally years) I have tried to fit in and to do things the way I thought I should, totally forgetting that I started my blog for myself, not for others. In the second half of 2020 I returned to blogging for myself, and I will continue with that in 2021.

From that base, I am setting myself the following goals for 2021:

  • No Consent: complete the series. This really is an easy goal, as I have already scheduled the rest of the posts, since NaNoWriMo 2020 was dedicated to completing this story.
  • Wicked Wednesday (WW): post every Wednesday. There is no way I am going to miss out on posting for my own meme.
  • Monochromerotic: share one monochrome picture a week. I love this meme so much, and love sharing my images.
  • Tell Me About (TMA): post every other Friday, except when combined with another meme. I love the Tell Me About meme, and sometimes (like today) the prompt lines up with another meme, and I love to combine the posts then.
  • 4 Thoughts or Fiction (4TF): post every other Friday, alternated with Tell Me About. The same goes for this meme — when I can combine it with another meme, I will. Bottom line is I don’t want to miss linking to WW, TMA or 4TF.
  • Blogable: I want to write a post for our beautiful project, Blogable, at least every other week, as there is so much I still want to share.

Note: The bare minimum I want to write are the posts mentioned above.

  • Erotic fiction: I am putting this one on here again — to write at least one piece of erotic fiction per month. I really need to get back to writing sexy stories.
  • Mindful Moments: I want to dedicate at least one post a month to reflect on my life, following whatever theme Barefoot sets for the month.
  • Writing about submission, following the a set of questions in the Dom Sub Workbook on The SafeworD/s Club,
  • Menopause Diaries: I have neglected this meme of mine, and want to add something to it at least six times during 2021.
    If you are in (peri) menopause or live with someone who is, please add your experiences to The Menopause Diaries too.
  • Photography: In 2020 I started sharing some of my vanilla photography, and I want to continue doing so this year.

There are more memes out there I want to support, such as ML’s Tie Me Up Tuesday, Brigit’s Erotic Journal Challenge, Jae’s Musically Ranting and The Snakes’ Snake Den A to Z. Of course I can put them on the list above, but I know that will be stretching myself very thin, so I leave them here as optional, and can always combine them with some of the memes above when the prompts fit.

Relationship goals

Something that has made me very happy, is that our sex life has picked up in the second half of 2020. In the last three weeks of the year it started dwindling again due to the situation with my son and my intense fatigue because of the constant stress. What was also clear in those months was that our D/s is still very much alive, but needs to be rekindled, and brought back to the level it was before, or at least a level that suits our life as it is now.

Because of being “in control” for 4 years, I find it rather difficult to let go of that control, and give it back to Master T. I want nothing more than for him to be in full control again, but also understand that I am making it difficult because I still very much hold on to the reigns, and need to learn how to let go.

With that as backdrop, I want to set myself the following goals:

  • Initiate a conversation with Master T about our D/s, within the first three months of the year.
  • Be conscious of my own mindset, and start seeing many of the every day things I do as an act of submission towards Master T (I want to include this in the talk).
  • To use the posts following the Dom Sub Workbook I mentioned above to learn more about myself and my submission.

Personal goals

I am not very mindful of my own wellbeing, as I tend to just get on with life and push myself to get through difficult times. This means that I am never aware that I am too stressed until it’s too late, and then I still brush it off and tell everyone I’m okay, or I will be okay. I do tend to mention difficulties to some people, but even then after initially mentioning it, I brush it off again, not wanting people to worry about me.

With this in mind, and wanting to take better care of myself, the following are things I want to do in 2021:

  • Go out for a walk at least twice a month (with the intention to get it to once a week), to aid and improve both my physical and mental health.
  • Take my camera with me at least once a month, because taking photos makes me happy, and also gives me something to share. Once we are not in lock-down anymore, my daughter and I will go out on photo trips again.
  • Have a relaxing massage at least every other month, and not feel guilty about it.
  • Wear a dress and stockings at least once a week, because I want to feel comfortable wearing stockings more.
  • Share three things from my day on Twitter every day — I have already started doing this.

My theme for 2021

Where I was determined to set myself a theme for this year, the same I did for 2020. Back then I called it a motto, and with all that happened — the virus, the bullying, the stress surrounding my son — I needed frequent reminders to seize the day, which sadly I didn’t always do. Carolyna Luna dared us to set a personal theme for 2021. I had no idea what mine would be, but her post sparked some thoughts in me, and then doing my list of goals above, I feel it all centers around one theme:


I tend to feel guilty when I do or take something for myself, but this year I want to learn not to feel guilty when I am taking care of or being kind to myself. Self-care can be:

  • taking a step back
  • saying ‘no’
  • asking for help
  • spending time alone
  • putting myself first
  • asking for what I need
  • setting boundaries
  • allow myself to rest
  • forgiving myself

Some of these things look easy, but they’re not when you are me. I can easily tell others how to care for themselves, but it’s time I apply that advice to myself too!

“Self-care is giving the world the best of you, instead of what’s left of you.”

~ Katie Reed

Setting goals keeps me focused

I have thought about making this post a lot shorter, and not to put specific goals in it, but just the a general mention of what I have in mind. However, mentioning every goal I’m setting myself means it keeps me accountable, and makes it easier to look back at the end of the year, to see how I have fared.

Goals keep me focused, and this post gives me something to come back to when I lose track of just where I want to be at the end of 2021.

© Rebel’s Notes
Image from Pixabay

          Wicked Wednesday          4 Thoughts or Fiction           Mindful Moments

17 thoughts on “Setting goals and a theme for 2021

  1. You are always so inspiring with all that you seem to do and fit in and with your organisation and commitment to it. I was reading these goals and thought to myself, yes I want to do that too. Self care is so important and, as you say, can be very hard to do and prioritise. I find that D/s can help with this for me as HL always takes better care of me than I do of myself and so rules can support the doing of it. I look forward to hearing about and seeing you complete your goals as the year goes by. Great post. Missy x

    1. Maybe this is one of the first things I should discuss with Master T, for him to help me keep a focus on my goals. Especially the self-care ones. The others mostly happen all by themselves, but I tend to ‘forget’ about taking care of myself, which is why I wanted to make that my word for this year. Thank you for your comment, Missy, as always xox

  2. Great goals!
    I have the same issue with the word resolution.

    Were you receiving bullying online Marie? I have seen you mention a stressful situation that happened with your blog and I wondered what had happened.

    1. Let’s see if I can manage all my goals this year. I am sure going to try.
      As for the online situation… I prefer to leave that behind me for now. Maybe one day I will be able to openly write about it. Suffice to say, I developed panic attacks because of it, and still get them if I think about the situation too much. Thank you for your concern, Jenna.

  3. Oh In love this – “Self-care is giving the world the best of you, instead of what’s left of you.” So true and you are such a “giver” in all areas of your life. I hope you pin that quote to your fridge so u read it daily 😉
    We have some similar blogging goals and I am very pleased you are including some fiction writing too
    May xx

    1. I should indeed pin it to the fridge! And, I better get on with the fiction… some thoughts have started forming in my mind. Now to hope I can change them into stories 🙂 xox

  4. Self care is so important and sadly often ends up being the lowest priority on our lists. Good for you for setting it as your theme and priority for the year. It can be difficult when it is not your natural way of things, but I have confidence you will succeed. It isn’t being selfish to focus on yourself, and even if it was, you deserve it. We all could use to be a little more selfish when it comes to taking care of ourselves.


    1. Oh Stella, you are so right. Selfish is definitely not a default for me, quite the opposite, and I think that’s why it’s so difficult to take proper care of myself. But, I am planning to learn to be better this year xox

  5. Hopefully sharing a drink and discuss life with us every Q in 2021 is also on your list (C-19 permitting…) and hope to see you in writers meetings of ‘Vlammende Verzinsels’ as well. Happy 2021!

    1. Only once a quarter? *grins
      Seriously, I can’t wait to be able to just share a drink and talks with you and your love again! As for ‘Vlammende Verzinsels’, once we can meet in a cafe again, I plan to be there. Happy 2021 to you too, my friend xox

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