Discipline and punishment… where does it fit in?

Image of a collar around my neck to go with my post of discipline and punishment.

You won’t be surprised that at times I am craving discipline and control, and sometimes even punishment. Where Master T’s health is improving, and sometimes he shows signs of wanting to take control again, our D/s is definitely not where it was before. In the past years I have learned to accept things as they are, and give him the time he needs, but as said, sometimes I really crave discipline, and even punishment.

The prompt for 4Thoughts, Discipline and Punishment and the questions Kinky Katie has asked, is the perfect opportunity to look back on how it was, and look forward on what I would like it to be, although I know I am not the one to decide on this.

What are your favourite forms of discipline and punishment?

One of my personality traits is that I am disciplined, which means that I follow the rules. I barely ever color outside the lines, and believe rules are there for a reason. This means that when Master T set me my rules when we started our D/s, I followed them. That said, when I feel control slip, I challenge the rules. I don’t become a brat — I’m really never a brat — but I do push against my boundaries, trying to get a reaction, and to see it followed through with a punishment. If that doesn’t happen, I will eventually move to a place where I ignore the rules, despite the fact that I am disciplined. I cannot be disciplined without control.

Punishment isn’t something I enjoy — it’s not designed to be enjoyed, right?! — but of course there are forms of punishment I prefer above others. I hate the cane, so prefer not to be punished by that, but in the past I have been punished with wearing a butt plug. It’s funny how it works — I always enjoy wearing a butt plug, but when it’s called a punishment, there is no joy in it at all. Another kind of punishment I ‘enjoy’ is orgasm denial, or figging.

How relatively important are either discipline or punishment in your relationship?

Master T expects me to follow the rules, and on occasions where I absentmindedly crossed my legs, he would make a remark which instantly had me correct the wrong. There were times where I had an orgasm without permission, and confessed this to him. Frequently he said there would be consequences, but sometimes he didn’t follow through on the punishment, which then undermined his discipline. I think I remembered what I did wrong a lot better than he did, and I felt disappointment because he didn’t follow through on the punishment.

Whatever our D/s looks like in the future, if it includes punishments, I want Master T to follow through on them. A thought just struck me: maybe it’s difficult for him to come up with a punishment because I don’t frequently break the rules? Something to ponder…

How do you distinguish between “funishment” and punishment? When are each appropriate?

When Master T denies me orgasms and it’s not called a punishment, it can be labeled as ‘funishment’. The same with wearing a butt plug, as I mentioned above. I guess the same also goes for the cane, or a whip, or a flogger — if he uses them on me and call it a punishment, it will feel a lot different than when it’s done for ‘play’. It has to do with my mindset. The moment something is called a punishment, the ‘fun’ element is gone.

Are there acts that you dislike doing but being made to do them as a punishment or act of discipline is a huge turn on?

I sat staring at this question for quite some time, and thought about acts that can be used as punishment, but none of those are acts I dislike. Then there’s the one thing I think of that I dislike, but it will definitely not be a turn on if it’s used as a punishment or act of discipline. Here I am talking about being made to lick up semen, either from a body or from the floor. I don’t mind swallowing, but forcing me to lick it up is a hard limit. No other acts come to mind here.

Last thoughts on discipline and punishment

I have no idea what form our D/s will take on once we get things properly going again. Maybe the elements of discipline and punishment will be less than they were before, or maybe new ways will be introduced. Maybe the rules will come back, maybe not. I know I need the control, need to feel his ownership, his guidance, and that will be the basis on which we built our D/s.

© Rebel’s Notes

4 Thoughts or Fiction                     MMM Mondays

12 thoughts on “Discipline and punishment… where does it fit in?

  1. I love not only this very honest and (for me) accurate assessment of DD, but am also enjoying reading comments from what seem to be all female submissives almost echoing verbatim the same thoughts I’ve heard come from males in the same situation……including me, So more proof that the genitalia one sports has little to do with how these dynamics play out.

    How wonderful.

  2. “I cannot be disciplined without control.” That sums up my relationship to discipline and the D/s dynamic I miss so much. I have had partners who set rules or tasks and did not follow through with required punishments or letting me know when the punishment task was over. That is something that I cannot get past so easily. Show me you are the one in control, prove it to me. If you want my submission whole heartedly then you have to be my dominant whole heartedly as well.

    1. I so totally agree with this, Stella. I need to know that when I am all-in, he is too.

  3. This is a great read, thank you for sharing! I crave rules as well, and as you say, rarely color outside the lines. I need discipline in my life.

  4. I think a lot of Dom’s don’t understand that punishment is where the power exchange really happens. We can easily submit, because it’s built into the very fabric of our beings, but the surrender comes from the follow through and using the power they are granted.
    I also am very disciplined but find that I stop following rules if no consequences are given, be it punishment or reward. No point in following something that the rule maker doesn’t care about is how I see it.
    Things that could be punishment have become “funishment” simply because he enjoys it and therefore it is fun for me because I’m giving him pleasure. Interesting indeed. 🙂
    Love the candid approach!

    1. You are right, MrsK. If there are no consequences for not following the rules, why follow them. No matter how disciplined I am, and how much I like following rules, I need to know it’s important to him too that I do follow them… it’s strange how the mind works, right!

  5. I did find it very interesting how your mindset works regarding punishment – such as ” I always enjoy wearing a butt plug, but when it’s called a punishment, there is no joy in it at all.” The mere fact you know you are being punished makes it not fun any more. That is very interesting as your mind is telling your body it is not fun. Fascinating lol
    May xx

    1. I have never tried to understand the psychology behind it, but indeed, something that is fun, just isn’t anymore when it’s done as a punishment. Fascinating indeed 😉 xox

  6. I think like everything, discipline and “fun”ishment evolves and changes over time. Particularly in a 24/7 relationship. That’s only natural. But it’s nice to always have the thoughts and desires that those things can be revisited and re-kindled from time to time. It’s those things that make the spontaneous moments so much more fun and rewarding isn’t it.
    Xxx – K

    1. You are so right about that, K. And we have to allow for life to happen, which means the punishments might get less, but will always be back again…

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