There was a time when stockings was more or less forbidden, or rather, they were in the life I had. Up to about fifteen years ago, I never owned any stockings, let alone wanting to wear them. So much have changed in the meantime.
A brief history of stockings and me
It must have been about fifteen years ago that I ordered my first pair of stockings. They were not meant to wear outside, but only for pictures and only for Master T. In my mind, and after so many years of thinking they are not ‘appropriate’, I still felt ashamed to wear them. You see, the fact that they were ‘forbidden’ had much to do with the conservative way I grew up, and the fact that I saw them as items worn only by ladies of pleasure.
When we started going on dates with other couples, on occasion I chose to wear stockings, sometimes with a garter belt, sometimes holdups. This helped me to gradually get used to the idea of wearing them outside the house, and not only for photos. However, this didn’t mean that I started wearing them more frequently. No, I only wore them on some dates, not even all of them.
Recently I had a conversation with my beautician, and she confessed that she only wears holdups, because she doesn’t like the feel of tights straining around her groin. She’s the age of my youngest daughter, but her talking so openly about it, made me realize that I should totally let go of my idea that stockings are ‘forbidden’. I mean, nowadays you can buy them in almost every store that sells hosiery, so why in the world should I not wear them?
Still, whenever I do, I feel incredibly self-conscious and am constantly aware of the fact that I am wearing stockings, even if I only wear them at home.
Holdups, tights and more
I very frequently wear tights, almost every day for 9 months of the year. The one thing that irritates me the most about them, is how sometimes during the day, they start to pull and hurt in my groin. They feel like they are twisted and no matter how much I try to turn them to be more comfortable, it doesn’t help.
Since the remarks of my beautician, I have no worn holdups a couple of times, not only at home, but also to the shopping center. This means no more discomfort in my groin, but there are other ‘problems’. Sometimes the silicone bands just don’t stay in place. I don’t know whether I should or shouldn’t use body lotion before I put on stockings. My skin, because of menopause, is quite dry, and my thinking is to use body lotion to make the silicone stick better. However, I have tried it with and without body lotion, and still sometimes I feel one of the stockings starting to move, and this just makes me feel more self-conscious.
This has made my thoughts travel back to using a garter belt with my stockings, but I remember how many times one of the straps slipped off the top of the stockings. I also remember how I used to fumble to get those clips attached to the tops of the stockings. Where I love the idea of garter belts, after struggling so much I didn’t feel sexy at all!
Recently I learned about thigh garters, and those have suspender clips on them, which are much easier to attach to the tops of stockings. I ordered a pair, and still have to try them on, so the jury is still out on those.
What I would love is to feel comfortable with wearing stockings, whether they are holdups or stockings where I have to wear a garter belt. Somehow I think the more I wear them, the easier it will get to attach the clips (if I choose for a garter belt and stockings) or the more comfortable I will feel with holdups. And of course, there will always be occasions where I will still wear tights, especially when my dress or skirt is just a bit too short!
The sexy side of stockings
Where I do feel self-conscious when I wear stockings, it also makes me feel sexy. Maybe it’s because of the once ‘forbidden’ nature of the stockings. I am not the only one who finds it sexy. I have but to whisper in Master T’s ear that I’m wearing stockings, and I instantly have his attention.
There just is something sexy about stockings, the feeling of the sheer fabric against my legs, the hug of the lace tops around my thighs. They are so much nicer to wear than tights. I am much more inclined to wear them when I am already in a sexy mood, than when I am down. When my mood is low, I don’t even think of stockings, and frequently grab pants to wear, instead of a dress.
On those days I do choose for stockings, and I do whisper in Master T’s ear, it’s guaranteed that our day will end with sex. What if I wear them every day? Will this still be the case, or will they then lose their sexiness and become just a regular item of clothing? Maybe it’s better if they are still more or less labeled ‘forbidden’…
© Rebel’s Notes