Looking back on 2020… what a year!

An image of a hand holding the numbers 2020, and binoculars in the background for looking back on the year.

I don’t think I have done it every year of my ‘blogging career’ — looking back on the year before — but last year I both looked back on the old, and forward to the new year. I want to do the same this year, and hopefully every year that follows, as I feel it’s important to reflect on goals of and things that happened in the past year.

Looking back on goals

On the last day of 2019, I set myself goals for 2020. Not all of those goals worked out, because of the difficult year 2020 had become.

  • Posts to do every week: Of the posts I wanted to do every week, only Wicked Wednesday remained. I stopped with a lot of meme, because of stepping back from a toxic situation, and started focusing on other memes. The four memes I focused on every week (and will continued to do so) are Wicked Wednesday, Tell Me About, 4 Thoughts or Fiction and Monochromerotic.
  • Erotic fiction: I was going to write at least one piece of erotic fiction a month. Sadly, I failed in this.
  • Smut Marathon: Due to the same toxic situation mentioned earlier, I terminated the Smut Marathon. But don’t fear, I am working on something new to replace this. Actually, not I am, but we are.
  • Photography: Even though I didn’t have a strict schedule for this, on average I did one photo shoot a month.
  • Instagram: Another thing I terminated, but in this case because it turned out Instagram is just not my thing.
  • Lightroom + Photoshop: I still need to do this.
  • Genealogy: This turned out to be a huge success, and I am still busy with it, and will probably continue for years to come.
  • Travel: Except for our trip to Camden before the first lock-down in March, no travel happened this year.
  • Life and sex and health: Our sex life picked up, Master T’s health improved and for a couple of weeks we lived on cloud nine, only to learn about my son’s mental breakdown, which has me filled with stress and worry, and tired to the bone.

Looking back on lessons learned

This hasn’t been an easy year, and not only because of the corona virus, the lock-downs, the working from home and not being able to live your life as you normally would. Because of the mentioned toxic situation I started suffering from panic attacks. I chose to step away. I needed to focus on myself. Needed to focus. Because of all that was happening, all that was said, I couldn’t think. The only way I could get the panic to calm down a bit, was to step away.

It took me many weeks to get the panic and unrest under control, and gradually I understood the lessons learned: to always take care of yourself first, and to always be true to yourself. This is something I always ‘preached’ to everyone, but always forgot to apply my advice to myself. I realized I don’t want to be what others expect of me. I want to be my own person; want to feel happy with what I do, and not do it because it feels I have to to fit in. Some say I ruined myself. I say I freed myself.

A good thing came from this

Freeing myself and critically looking back on all that happened, I realized I have so much to be thankful for. A loving and supporting husband, a beautiful family, honest and talented friends. Stepping away from the ashes of a community where I no longer fit in, something new was born. A new project. A way to continue helping others with the knowledge I have gained over the years.

Blogable was born and launched into the world, and a wonderful friendship developed between the May, Missy and me – the Blogable Babes. It’s just so rewarding to be able to share our knowledge, and to learn from each other. We also want to learn from our members, so if you have anything to share about writing, blogging or websites, please get in contact with us regarding a guest post.

I referred to the Smut Marathon earlier, and mentioned that something new is coming. Keep an eye on the Blogable site, as announcements will follow in the first two months of the year. I’m excited about this, because the goal of the marathon was always to help people, and I want to continue doing so.

Changes to Rebel’s Notes

In the past months I have worked through Rebel’s Notes from back to front, from the very first post in 2010 to the current ones. I removed a lot of posts, redirecting them to the homepage, because I just no longer felt comfortable with having them on my blog. I also started recycling posts, which I updated to reflect the current situation. After blogging for almost eleven years, there’s quite a lot that of posts that are lovely to revisit and make current.

Not once in the past months, despite all that had happened, have I thought about stopping with blogging. No, in fact, where it used to feel like a second job, because I was trying to keep so many people happy, I found the joy in blogging again. I returned to blogging for myself, and not for anyone else, while being every so thankful that people still come here to read my words.

And just for the record: 2020 turned out to be the second best year since I started blogging, the best being 2017. Honestly, despite it being a tough year, looking back I know I have a lot to be thankful for.

Stats from 2020

It’s always fun to look back on which posts had the most hits over the year, and interesting to see just what subjects have drawn the attention of my visitors.

Top 10 wordy posts of 2020

10: Spanking, and other impact play
This is a post I re-shared, after I updated it, and as the title says, it has all to do with impact play.
9: No Consent: The work trip (part 1)
I was surprise to see one of the parts of No Consent so high up in my stats.
8: Two Fingers
A post about the second orgasm of 2020.
7: Surrender to the feeling
A post about menopause, and those terrible hot flashes that seem to come mainly at night for me.
6: No Consent: First threesome
One post of No Consent in the top 10 was a surprise, and two even more so! I guess this title is quite inviting.
5: Masturbation Studio
My photo studio sometimes turns into a place to masturbate.
4: Suck & swallow, on repeat
I re-shared this post about the first time ever I swallowed, back in the time before Master T and I were ‘official’.
3: Morning, Orgasm.
I had this plan to count all my orgasms in 2020, and started out with this very first one for the year – morning sex, masturbation style.
2: Lock-down Lust
It’s intriguing to see this 100-word story so high in my stats!
1: Watching her
I wanted to write something sexy to go with an image of mine, and did this little story about being watched on a webcam.

Top 10 image posts of 2020

10: Flawed
I absolutely love this images, showing the truth of my body.
9: Rope Gag
I love that at least one of my rope images made it to the top 10!
8: Lotus
This is an image I am still so incredibly proud of. Well, technically it’s five images.
7: Slippery
Because of lock-down and working from home, I bought slippers and of course I had to show them off!
6: Belonging
An image showing a nipple and a collar.
5: An Open Heart
A fun image with a bouquet of roses.
4: You learn…
An image that shows many lines of my body, full frontal.
3: Pin-up Paint
A post with images of a bodypaint, from years ago, and I loved sharing them again.
2: Affirmation
Many of my photo posts this year had words about body image and acceptance.
1: Stretch to fit
I love the colors in this image, as well as the line of my body.

Last, but not least

I have decided against doing a top 20 post this year, like I have done in the past years. There’s just too much controversy about various lists out there, and to be honest, it doesn’t fit with the new ‘feel’ I have when blogging. Instead I have chosen to add an extensive blog roll to the sidebar of my site — see the heading ‘Marie’s Marvels’. This is my way of saying that I value each and every one of my fellow bloggers, and this list will always be fluid.

Thank you all for your support this year, and I wish for all of us that 2021 will be a better one than 2020, even though when looking back, I know 2020 was not that bad after all!

© Rebel’s Notes
Image from Pixabay


Wicked Wednesday

16 thoughts on “Looking back on 2020… what a year!

  1. I’m glad to here about master Ts improvement and very sorry to here about your son just make sure you try to take care of your self it sounds like you all need each other take care rebel

  2. I loved reading your post Marie – I don’t know what the toxic situation you mentioned involved, but I definitely that when we try to fit into and we know we are not being true to ourselves – it is like wearing a pair of shoes that do not fit properly. Over time, we just end up feeling more sore and uncomfortable, and can even do ourselves damage.

    1. You are so right there, Jenna. And those shoes have hurt me for a couple of years, and started forming so many blisters, I had to throw them away! It feels so much better without 🙂

    1. I hope 2021 will be a better year for you, Sweet, that you can find some healing. Take care of you xox

  3. I’d say a very successful year for you all considered! I’ve certainly enjoyed your work throughout and I’m glad you are in a better place to continue to express and share!

  4. Oh Marie a year of contrasts but such good waves to ride on into 2021 blogging and projects. I so enjoy working and chatting with you (and Missy) over blogable and many other things. It has been a great year for real friendships I think. You blog is consistently amazing and long may it reign.
    ‘Lockdown lust’ was a fantastic erotic flash.
    May xx

    1. Thank you for your lovely comment, May. I look forward to the 2021 blogging year, and who knows what ideas might be sparked for extra projects, but first our projects on Blogable, something I really look forward to! xox

  5. It is always interesting to look back and it is great that your are able to be so positive despite the traumatic year you have had. I am so pleased that you feel better for the changes now that they have taken place. You have a brilliant blog and put so much into all of the projects you are part of so I am excited to see what comes along for you next. Missy x

    1. Thank you for your lovely comment, Missy. I am feeling much more content with my blog, and after all the drama of the year, I now think I have been done a favor. Better to look for the positives, right 🙂 xox

  6. What a wonderful round up of your year. Life can be tricky sometimes, but the difficulties bring about growth and I think that shows with your blogging achievements of this year.

    You’ve inspired me to write and commit to some blogging goals for 2021. Thank you. N xx

    1. Glad to be an inspiration 🙂
      And you are right, difficult times brings about growth, sometimes not seen immediately, but definitely there. Thank you for your support this year, N xox

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