Spanking, and other impact play

Impact play is a term encompassing many different kinds of practices where one person is struck by the other and both of them derive satisfaction from it. Some practices that fall under the heading of impact play are spanking, flogging, caning, paddling, and whipping.

This post has first been shared in March 2013, when our D/s relationship was only just two years old, and we were both still discovering what we like and prefer. Since we are now going for almost 10 years of D/s (even though it has been low for quite some time due to health issues), it’s time to look at this post again and see what place impact play has in our relationship.

Impact play, a fantasy

In 2013 this was my fantasy:

I look up and find him looking at me. There’s a glint in his eyes to which my body instantly reacts. He holds my gaze for what feels like minutes. The only movement he makes is beckoning me with his finger. I stand up, walk to him and wait. He takes my hand and pulls me down, guiding me towards his lap. My head rests on the couch next to him. He pushes my skirt up, baring my backside.

Slowly he runs his hand over my buttocks, touching me softly. My muscles tense, but the first smack still comes unexpectedly, just as I relax my muscles. I tense again. More smacks rain down on my bottom. I feel the sting of his flesh on mine and then the soft touch as He caresses my bottom again. I sigh happily as the spanking continues, fight the hurt, feel his soft touch, feel the hurt again, fight it more and then surrender… I am his to be used as he wants.

We were limited back then because of having two kids living in the house with us, but in the meantime one has moved out, and the other is here only half of the week. This gives us all the freedom we have during weekends, especially now that Master T’s health is so much better, and his desire to ‘hurt’ me is returning.

Corporal punishment

I grew up in a time when corporal punishment in schools and at home were still generally accepted. I hated being spanked by my father, and in school I hated being punished in school, as the girls had to hold out their hands and were then hit with a ruler.

In my adult life, the first time I was spanked again, was by Master T. You should think I would’ve hated it, seeing my childhood experiences with corporal punishment, but I loved it. I wanted more. I wanted the spankings to last much longer and not only be a dozen or so slaps on my backside, but a hand spanking wasn’t really Master T’s thing.

Proper spanking

An image showing the marks on my body after intense impact play, caning and spanking.
My bottom after the second spanking during a play date

The first time I had a proper spanking in a D/s setting was during one of our play dates. I had two proper spankings that weekend and I loved both. During the second one I managed to relax and just accept the blows heating up my backside. I would love to repeat the experience, but then with Master T, even though he’s still not into longer spanking sessions.

I love being spanked; love feeling the sting on my buttocks. I love how my body fight it at first; how my mind fight it. How I doubt whether I can handle it, and try to get away from the sting while at the same time I want it. I like to feel the excitement build in my body, and the wetness between my legs. The feeling of surrender when I finally accept and allow the pain is almost overwhelming, and sends my mind and body to a place where I can only be.

Implements for impact play

Of course there’s more than only spanking for impact play. Like I said above, different implements can be used. Over the years we have acquired several whips, floggers, paddles, crops and canes.

Of course we each have our favorites. Master T loves using the cane, while I fear its sting, but love the marks it can leave. Another one of Master T’s favorites is the dragon tail. I happen to love it too, even though the ‘tongue’ can sting almost as much as the cane. I love being flogged with a heavy, ‘thuddy’ flogger, like the kangaroo skin flogger Master T bought some years ago. He has several other floggers too, and most of them are lovely to use for impact play, as it can start slow and be built up the more my bottom is warmed up.

Many times Master T and I are on one line with things, and this also goes for not being that fond of paddles. While we have quite a couple, Master T very rarely reaches for one. Except the vampire paddle, though we both prefer the vampire glove. If you don’t like to break the skin, this is definitely not an implement you should use.

Impact play in our future

It’s been some time since we have really engaged in impact play. Master T has told me his interest to engage in some play is returning, but I know I have to be patient. The fact that his interest is returning, doesn’t mean he instantly pulls out all implements and start hitting me. I wish! The last time he marked me I thought we were back, and it then turned out we weren’t, so I am not rushing anything.

On this image I am over Master T's lap and he is spanking me.
Receiving a spanking from Master T

There is something intimate about skin on skin, the feeling of surrender, the feeling of being used, knowing that my skin turns red. I love being hand spanked, but I know this is not really Master T’s thing. Also, over the years I have learned that it’s not my thing to stand and bend over so he can cane-whip-paddle-flog me. I prefer to be secured to something like a St. Andrew’s Cross, or to lie on the bed, or over someone’s lap, so my body is supported. That’s the only way I can ‘relax’ enough to finally surrender to the pain and take more.

The marks of impact play

It’s not only the impact play itself that I like, but also the aftermath. Seeing the marks on my body, whether it’s only the red blush after a spanking or flogging, or the angry red marks of a cane or a dragon tail, makes me feel proud.

Why proud?

Those marks are evident of my submission to my husband, but also of what my body has been pushed to do, and my mind to accept. The natural response of the body is to get away from pain, but with impact play and submission you want to feel the pain, and you want to be able to handle it. Seeing those marks are evidence that you have managed that.

I know we will return to this, that he will mark me again, and I will stand in front of the mirror, proudly poking my marks or bend myself in all kinds of positions to take a picture. And who knows, when we return to impact play, I might even ask for the cane again.

To us both impact play is a important part of our D/s. The pain connects us in ways that only he and I understand. He wants to hear my moans, and I want to feel the sting. I want to feel my body fight, and then experience the freedom of surrender. Also, I want to feel the warmth of my bottom when he’s done. And then, when we are done, I want to feel his arms around me and hear the words: good girl.

© Rebel’s Notes

25 thoughts on “Spanking, and other impact play

  1. Thanks for re-booting this for 2020 and the Tell Me About prompt Marie. We haven’t done much spanking for a while and just the other night I realised how much of an emotional connection there was, which was very nice. I always find that with spanking my hands always want to explore that bit further, which I know is never a problem!

  2. This line really stood out to me: “Those marks are evident of my submission to my husband, but also of what my body has been pushed to do, and my mind to accept.” This is exactly it and the connection that is created through this can be really intense. You have got me thinking about why I do sometimes fight for longer and whether or not looking at it in a different way can change that. Another great post with loads of information as well as your own experience to bring it to life. Thank you. missy x

    1. I think no two spankings are the same, that it also has to do with your mindset at the time, which is why you will fight longer on one occasion than the other 🙂 xox

  3. Great post, Marie 🙂
    I too endured spankings as a child, though at home and not at school, and I thought that would hold me back during BDSM impact play. Nope…

    1. Nope, me neither. I would hate to be punished again the way I was at home and school, but punishment or impact play in a BDSM setting… that is so different 🙂

  4. That is a beautiful image of you over Mr T’s knee. And I too feel like the marks give me something I need – maybe to be proud of but also that he did them cause I am his
    May xx

  5. Thanks for updating this post as it is always interesting to see how our thoughts and desires develop over time. I found it informative as well as interesting and I just loved your last paragraph where you explain the connection that comes from impact. Missy xx

  6. You all reflect many of the sensations my Kitten says are what attracts her to impact play. For her it takes her from general submission to sub space. Length of time is one way. We have had sessions that took more than 30 minutes before she truly released herself to sub space. With good verbal and day long teasing along with mental foreplay that time can be reduced. The mind is the largest erogenous zone of the body. Tickling and spanking her mind takes longer but with a few words she will drop into the space, with long enough prep.

    I didn’t think I would like impact play, I don’t see myself as a sadist. And I am not. But what I am is an indulgent Daddy who loves seeing his little Kitten squirm with delight as I turn her ass red to almost blue with spankings, flogging, application of the belt. Flipping her over and spanking her clit until she cums. These have become some of my favorite things. And as you said, we both love her wearing her marks of submission. She proudly wears on the underside of hr breasts my bite when I choose to leave one or more.

    It is an amazing symbiotic relationship I didn’t even know I needed until it popped up.
    Thank you all for sharing your insights and views, it helps me understand my Princess.

    1. I want to say the same, David, thank you for sharing from your side too, and thank you for your comment 🙂

  7. I’m so with you on the noise factor; it is very hard to accommodate when you share a house with small people.

    Skin-on-skin? Wonderful. Although I must confess I am not at all averse to implements! 🙂

    Jane xxx

    1. Oh no, I am not averse to implements either, but I just love the intimacy of a real spanking.

      Thanks for your comment, Jane xox

  8. So many of the things you said about spanking resonate with me, in particular where your mind goes, from fighting to acceptance. I go through a similar arc of emotions myself.

    And I, too, fantasize about being spanked. I had forgotten that part, how I can fantasize just about the spanking – not even anything sexual – and bring myself to orgasm with it. Mmm, now I will have that in my mind!

    Thank you so much for joining in this week! I look forward to reading more! 😀

    1. I have been fantasizing about spanking ever since I saw your Sinful Sunday pic and the first subject for Kink of the Week. Thanks for starting such a great meme!

      Rebel xox

  9. Great post! I think I will try to “go from fighting it to accepting it” as you say and see how that feels – you make it sound delicious!

  10. Beautiful fantasy, and I’m quite sure it’ll become a reality as well. Oddly enough, it surprised me to read this: I had assumed that spanking happened often with you guys – which shows just how new I am to reading about your exploits.

    1. Spanking does happen often enough, but not for long enough. Sometimes He slaps my ass a couple of times and then He has to stop because of the noise. He can only really spank me when we are on a playdate or together in a hotel room, and those do not happen every week, unfortunately. I wish they did…

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