No Consent: Joy (2)

This is the rework of a self-published auto-biographical story (2008), rewritten for this blog. Names of characters have been changed.
Content warning: mental and physical abuse, misogyny.


Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.
Confucius

Joy (2)
July 1994

Continued from… Joy (1)

“We also participate in the sport of the rich, as it’s called.”
Annie didn’t know what she meant and from Fred’s expression, it was clear that he didn’t know either.
“We frequently,” Joy continued, “swap partners. Nevertheless, we have to do this in secret, because if someone finds out it might hurt my husband’s career. Of course, we don’t want that. That is why we have pseudonyms for our sexual relationships.”
“Is Joy your real name?” Fred asked.
“No, that’s my pseudonym,” Joy proudly answered.
“Then tell us what your real name is?” Fred was curious.
Under no circumstances was Joy willing to reveal her real name to Fred.

“How did you get involved in swinging?” Fred didn’t sound angry, as Annie expected he would. He sounded more like a little boy sulking, and Annie knew that it was because Joy refused to tell him her real name. Joy, however, didn’t notice this subtle change in his mood.

“It was pure coincidence that we entered that particular world,” Joy answered Fred’s question. “We were visiting friends of us one evening, when the subject came to discussion. At that moment, we didn’t know that our hosts frequently engaged in partner swapping. Back home, my husband and I discussed it. We wanted to learn about it. It took a while for us to make contacts, but now we go to organized evenings about once a month and there we swap partners.”

“But,” Annie spoke for the first time, “if you engage in partner swapping, why do you want to be a member of a club for bisexual women?”
From the corner of her eye, Annie saw Fred looking at her. She was willing to bet he didn’t think of asking this question.

“That’s just it. Normally there are four of us in one room when we swap partners. Up to now, I haven’t made love to a woman. My husband has intercourse with the other woman and the other man has sex with me. Ever since I’ve seen your advert in the paper, I fantasize about having sex with another woman. Nonetheless, it took me a while to get the courage to call you.”

Fred saw an opening. What followed made Annie realize he thought Joy would be an easy target. He thought it would be easy to get her in his bed. His eyes got the same glow it always did when there was a possibility of a third woman joining them. The sperm that sensed there would soon be a way out again, won the struggle between his hormones and his common sense.

Fred explained to Joy how the club worked.
“We — that’s my wife Fran, Annie and I — have a love triangle. We are faithful to each other. The three of us have sex together and sometimes, only two of us have sex. We sometimes have a third woman joining us. We also give each other the room to enjoy and do what they are in the mood for. There’s absolutely no jealousy between the three of us. That’s why Annie and Fran will understand when something happens when one of them is absent. The absent one would understand why the other two proceeded without her, and she will grant them their pleasure.”

At that moment, Fred looked at Annie, challenging her to deny it. One of their ground rules was that they would all be part of the fun when a third woman joined them. Annie knew this just as well as Fred did. She knew exactly what Fred was getting at and Annie was glad that Joy also saw through his plan. If Fred had thought Joy would throw herself at his feet and then beg for him and Annie to make her experience heaven on earth, he was mistaken. With a firm self-confidence, she had her own proposition.
“Fred, don’t get me wrong. I would love to have sex with you, but only if it is in a swinging set-up. Either you and Fran, or you and Annie would then join my husband and me. At this moment, I have a need for sex with a woman. My suggestion is this: let Annie and me go to a bedroom now, then she can show me the ways.”

Annie was startled. So much went through her head in the next couple of seconds.

In the first place, she was scared. Annie already had some nasty experiences of how Fred’s thoughts could convince him of the strangest things. What would happen if he thought Annie might consider Joy’s proposal? She knew all too well that even if she denied it, it wouldn’t protect her from his battering.

Secondly, insecurity took hold of her. Fran still was the one who took control in bed. Annie didn’t know if she had the guts to take charge of the situation. In the third place, she was offended. Did Joy think she was a pawn on a chessboard? Why didn’t she ask Annie’s opinion? Did Annie even have a say in this matter? However, she was also flattered. Someone, and in this case a woman, chose her above Fred!

Lastly, she was also turned on. In spite of her fear, in spite of her insecurity, in spite of her indignation, in spite of everything, Annie was aroused by the thought just to be Annie and to make love to a woman, the way it always was in her fantasies. It wouldn’t feel like she was an obligatory thing, the way it was with Fran. There would be no routine, as it was with Fran. No, they would both be able to do exactly what they want; to go where passion led them.

To be continued… Joy (3)

© Rebel’s Notes

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