Don’t lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing
It’s okay not to be okay
Sometimes it’s hard, to follow your heart
Tears don’t mean you’re losing, everybody’s bruising
Just be true to who you are
Lyrics from Who You Are by Jessie J
I am a big believer of always being true to who you are, true to yourself, as that is the only honest way to be. Never change yourself for someone else. Sadly, I have been there too many times, and all those relationships, whether romantic ones or friendships, have ended in disaster, the most recent ones being in 2020.
I am who I am
So many times in my life I changed part of myself to be what I thought the person I was with wanted me to be. As I grew older, I have sworn not to do it ever again (I did it in two marriages, and also other romantic relationships), but sometimes it still happened without me noticing or understanding that it’s happening. Hindsight is a great thing, and many times only after disaster struck — divorce, broken friendship — I recognized that I had fallen in the same trap again. Thankfully, it doesn’t happen that much anymore, as I am much more confident in who I am than I have been for the greater part of my life. My Facebook tagline actually says “I am who I am”.
There are two people with whom I have always been just me, always been my true self, and those are Master T and my best friend. Never ever did I have to pretend to be anyone else, or have I tried to change my ways because I subconsciously thought they might ‘like me better’. Sadly, I have done that with other people, because I wanted to fit in, I wanted to belong. It was only when I realized some of my core values — kindness, respect, love — were trampled on, and I distanced myself, that I realized I had done it yet again.
I know I can say ‘never again’, but I also know that it can happen again. However, the events of 2020 have increased my awareness of this, and I hope it doesn’t happen again, as I need to always be true to myself, to always live to my own words, “I am who I am” and to hold onto those things I find important: treat people with kindness, respect them for who they are, and spread love, not hate.
About me and being true to myself
Now you would’ve thought that the above paragraphs were already about me, but don’t fear, I am not going to repeat anything! No, this is about the about page on this website. For Blogable, I wrote the article What should you share on your about page? and as I did, I realized my own about page was totally out of date.
The last time I had updated it was June 2019, and as I read through don’t ‘t want to share anymore, and people and projects I don’t want to promote anymore. At first I have thought to leave my old about page intact, and then share a link to it in my new one, but like I said, I just don’t want to link to things I can’t back anymore.
Changing my about page, removing those links, meant I am moving back to being true to myself, to take back control of who I am, and not walk in line with what others expect of me. I know I am not a bad person, regardless of what some people might think, and I know I respect everyone for who they are, what they believe, how they identify, and how they live their lives. I hope my new about page reflects a bit of that, but by reading my words on this website, you see the person I am.
Renewing more than only the about page
I find myself at a point where I want to renew more than only my about page, and have already started looking at themes to update my site. I actually love the theme I have now, but I feel like I need something different. Something… more me. I have already started browsing themes, and trying some of them out on my test subdomain, but haven’t made my final decision yet. I might just stick with what I have… time will tell…
© Rebel’s Notes