Socialize on social media

An image showing a mobile phone with icons to all social media platforms.

I struggle
I juggle
I could just throw a line to you
But I should let sleeping dogs lie ’cause I know better, baby
I write it
Erase it
Repeat it
But what good will it do
To reopen the wound
So I take a deep breath
And I save as draft
~ Lyrics from Save As Draft by Katy Perry

I have never saved any drafts on social media. I have never felt the need to write something and not send it. Still, reading the words of this song, it made me think about my presence on social media, and how much different it is this year from what it was the years before.

Social media, a wee history

Social media can be a blessing, but also a curse. To me it always was a place to connect with people, from the first moment I started on any kind of social media. I come from a chat background, where I chatted on online platforms, and also on MSN Messenger and ICQ.

The first online social media platform I used was Hyves, which I believe was only a Dutch platform, and the only reason why I created the account was because our then 8-year old daughter told us she was on Hyves. I wanted to keep an eye on things. Hyves sort of dwindled, and eventually disappeared, and we all created accounts on Facebook, and on a blue Monday I even had an account on MySpace.

Twitter was already a thing, but it took me until January 2011 to create an account, and the only reason I did this was because I wanted to promote my blog. It ended up growing into a place where I met lots of people — some of them also in real life. Some of those met in real life became friends, and others became friends even when I haven’t met them.


From the moment I started using Facebook, I have never been very active on there. Yes, there was a time when I posted there more than I do nowadays, but mainly Facebook is a way from me to keep in contact with family abroad, and follow the things closer family and friends do. I like to comment on their images, or just read along to see what experiences they share. I have a strict policy on my personal Facebook: no colleagues. No matter how friendly I am with colleagues, I don’t want to have them on my Facebook, the same way I never invite them over to our house.

Of course I also have Facebook for my blog, but there I actually only use my Facebook page ( and I tend to forget updating it. Every once in a while I schedule a couple of posts, and then for weeks I am not on Facebook. To be honest, I don’t even check my personal Facebook every day!


Where Twitter grew from a place where I could promote my blog, to a place where I had daily conversations with several people, this year it once again changed to a place where I mainly promote my blog.

Some events have caused me to step away from Twitter for a while, and reassess what I want from it. I realized I had allowed social media to control my life. I really was busy with Twitter during all my waking hours, and even logged into it at work, and constantly kept an eye on it. What if I missed something? If people thought I didn’t care if I don’t comment on their tweets? What if someone mentions me and I don’t answer quickly enough? What would they think of me?

Yes, I was like a train crash waiting to happen, and it did. And when it did, it hurt so damn much, but if I look back on it now, the crash was actually a blessing (so thank you to all who caused this crash). I still like looking at Twitter, but some days I even forget to check my timeline.

I know: shocking!

A step back from social media

Taking a step back from Twitter (and actually all social media) and not being as active anymore, is actually quite freeing. I have time for so much more now. I crochet. Read. Am researching our family tree. I have more time to spend with Master T. When we go out, we have more conversations, because I am not constantly keeping an eye on the timeline.

I really enjoy this new, more relaxed rhythm, my life has take on.

There was a time when social media controlled my life, where every. damn. opinion. on there mattered to me and colored my emotions, the way I got through my day. But with all that happened, I realized that my life is here. Here where I sit, here where we live, here with my husband, my kids, my grandkids, my friends, and yes, even with those colleagues I don’t want in my home or on my social media!

© Rebel’s Notes
Image from Pixabay

11 thoughts on “Socialize on social media

  1. April 2021 4thoughts Meme #172

    It certainly sounds a much better balance, you control the social media not it/them controlling us.

    2020 was a definitive pivot for many of us handling our online skills.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts

  2. I said exactly the same Marie – thank heavens we got to realise there is so many other things to be doing – than engaging on twitter
    May xx

  3. I love this! It’s amazing the way social media can take over our thoughts, feelings, and lives! I agree with you on this. I have found that I dive in completely and lose myself, not coming up for air until I realize I am drowning and need to breathe. Then it is time to work out what the happy medium is to social media, at least for me, and using it the way I need it for the promotion of my blog, podcast, or whatever it is I want to get out there. I am at this time working on a schedule for time on each so that I am not overwhelmed by them all.
    Belle xo

    1. Having a schedule for time on each definitely sounds like a good thing, and a way to have more balance 🙂 xox

  4. I also started out my “social media” days in IRC and .alt chat rooms – and my first blog was a Livejournal! Things have come a long way, not all in good ways.

    Glad that you’re reprieve from it is bringing good things to your life!

    1. Indeed, not all in good ways… some of it just became too overwhelming and pull us down, instead of building us up…

  5. I’ve never been interested in social media. Besides the sketchy data mining and randomized censorship that they all practice, I find that the constant adherence to the timeline is irritating to be around. Sometimes I just want to yell at people. Put. The phone. AWAY!


    I’m glad you’ve found a way to step back from it and engage better with the people and things around you in real life.

    And all the YES to reading! I have close to 100 books in my to-be-read pile (yes, really!) and reading for relaxation (and education and entertainment) is one of my favorite things to do. 🙂

    1. I am really enjoying reading more, writing more, and having more downtime than I have had for years. Now sometimes days go by without me being on social media, and it’s actually a relief. You have done good never to start on it 😉

  6. I think we all should take a step back. The constant updating of new tweets becomes unhealthy quickly right? Maybe I am getting older and want to slow my life down a bit. I never “got” Facebook though. I tried it like three times and never found use for it. I already had the phone numbers and emails of all my friends anyway. I joined some local groups but 90% of posts were just ads or calls to action or someone complaining. I do like longer form media like blogs or whole essays more. There seems more thought in it.

    And I totally get the train crash analogy. Like social media is an easy way to get to know people but it seems so risky with one wrong word.

    1. You are right, the compulsory updating of tweets, or even only replying to that of others, definitely becomes unhealthy. We allow social media to define who we are, and that’s not right. Our lives should never be lived online.

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