Somehow I have never stopped to think about the difference between a kink and a fetish, but I instinctively knew they are not the same. I had just never thought about how to describe them, and embarking on a search on the world wide web to find someone who can say it better than I can, I found this:
Still confused about how a fetish and kink aren’t exactly the same? Ramirez suggests considering the scenario of going into the kitchen with your partner. If you see a jar of honey and have a sudden urge to lick the honey off your partner, that’s kinky. But, if simply looking at the jar of honey does it for you—and you get turned on every time you look at jars of honey—it’s a fetish that’s at play.~ What’s the Real Difference Between a Fetish and a Kink?
Fetish and me
Reading that quote about honey pots, I sat here thinking long and hard about things that excite me, things that ‘does it’ for me, and I couldn’t come up with anything. There is just nothing around me, or on the body of another person (or my own) that excites me so much that I feel sexual arousal or satisfaction.
I know there are people who have a shoe fetish, or a foot fetish, or a fetish for other things, and I totally respect that, but there is just nothing that gets me so excited. The most common fetishes are foot, panty (knickers), high heels, nylon, spanking, balloons, hand, hair and legs.
Where knickers, high heels, nylon and spanking definitely perk my interest, I don’t see them as fetishes. Beautiful knickers are just that. High heels and nylons make me feel good, so I tend to wear them quite a lot, and spanking to me is a kink, not a fetish.
No, I can honestly say that I have no fetishes at all.
Kink and me
It’s different with kink.
I have quite a couple of kinks that really get my blood racing. I have already mentioned spanking, and coupled with that is pain. There is just something about a spanking where the pain is built up from moderate to severe, and which finally gets me out if my own head, and into a pool of calm.
Another kink: hard sex. A slow fuck at its time is fine, but I prefer it hard, whether with cock or fingers. I can’t climax with soft sex, but hard sex… well, that gets me off every time. Hard sex doesn’t have to be with a cock — it can be fingers too, and then preferably four fingers, or a fist.
I think I can safely list exhibitionism as a kink too. I like sharing my naked form with the world, and I love knowing people enjoy my images. Now it’s not like I walk around wet all day knowing that there are people out there who might be looking at my photos at that very moment, but whenever I consciously think about this, it gives me a warm feeling.
Anal sex… for a very long time this has been a kink of mine, and it still is. However, anal sex hasn’t been on my radar for years, and wearing a butt plug has been far and in between. With our sex life getting back on track again, this kink might just be ‘re-activated’.
Dominance and submission
There are many posts on this blog about our D/s journey, and where our D/s hasn’t been the main focus of the past four years, it has never been entirely gone. Like I have said in many posts, dominance is as much part of Master T’s personality as submission is part of mine. This means that these traits weren’t gone when our sex life and D/s were low, but just that they were not prominently explored.
From the moment we started chatting back in April 2002, there were kinky elements in our relationship. We opened up to each other quite quickly, and discovered we had mutual kinks in erotic photography and harder sex. Quite early in our relationship and long before we made our Ds commitment, we had used rope and clamps and cuffs. We just never gave it a name, but both knew we were engaging in kinky sex.
And from that kinky sex the desire grew to have something more structured, which lead to our D/s commitment, and the relationship we have now. Because once more, even though our D/s is low, it’s not gone, and I am sure as Master T continues to improve, we will increase the ‘kink level’ in our sex life again, and get back to the same level we were in 2016, or maybe even better!
© Rebel’s Notes
Image from Pixabay