Always, always trust your gut. If you feel something is wrong, that’s because it usually is.~ unknown
You will never hear me tell you that I have a sixth sense, that I feel or see things before they happen, but in my life it has happened many times that things I ‘felt’ happened. Also that when I ignored the gut feeling, things turned out worse than they probably would have. Many times I ignored the gut feeling was because of me being a people-pleaser, and putting myself on the last spot.
Let’s start with a funny story. Some years ago, when our offices were still situated almost in the center of Rotterdam, we had a camera at the front door to see who rang the bell before we let them inside the building.
However, the camera frequently didn’t work, and this one afternoon the bell went and I told her who was in front of the door. She frowned, glanced at the camera and buzzed the person in. Now it took about half a minute for them to come from the front door to the administrative offices where we sat, and in that time she asked me how I knew and I said I didn’t, I was just guessing.
I don’t know who was more surprised when we saw who entered our offices. Exactly the person I said would. Up to today, she believes I have a sixth sense, especially since something like this happened a couple of times more in the past 16 years we’ve been working together.
Lucky guesses, or a sixth sense?
My second husband and I were going to get married in December 1998, but due to circumstances, our wedding took place in August of that year. It was a panicked reaction to a letter from the Dutch government. By then our relationship was about 1.5 years old and if course both of us thought we were doing the right thing.
Six months into our marriage I was busy cleaning the house, and as still happens nowadays when I am busy with my hands, my thoughts wandered all over the place. I was thinking about us when the thought crossed my mind and stopped me cold.
This was a mistake.
I instantly pushed the thought away. No! I wasn’t allowed to think like that. Thinking like that would bring bad luck.
It took me three more years before I ended the marriage and finally chose for myself. Three years of too many fights, and I only had the guts to choose for myself after I realized he didn’t see any future in the marriage.
Was that thought a gut feeling, or just a ‘normal’ moment of doubt?
I am someone who trust very easily, and keep on trusting until I am proven wrong. But, even though I almost instantly trust everyone, sometimes my gut tells me to keep my distance.
Mostly in this instance, I listen to my gut, and keep my distance. I treat people with respect, am friendly, but don’t get to close. I don’t open up to them, and don’t want them to open up to me. Our conversations are polite-friendly, but there’s no additional contact besides this, and time between conversations can range from days to months.
However, my people-pleasing nature always seem to take over, and that’s when I start ignoring my gut feeling. For instance, if the other person would tell me how special I make them feel, or that they have no one else to trust, or anything in the lines of that, I forget about my gut feeling and go all in. I will do anything to please them, to help them, to listen to them, and then I start sharing things I never shared before, that in the first place I wasn’t planning to share at all.
Every time in my life… every time, I ignored that gut feeling… every time I went all in (sometimes after years of keeping a sort of invisible wall between us), it ended in disaster, and it was only afterwards that I realized that I had once again ignored my gut feeling.
To be honest, as I get older, this is happening less, but every time it does, it makes me listen to that gut feeling more. But not only that (and this I find the sad part) it makes me mistrust people, probably also people I shouldn’t mistrust.
Is that gut feeling a sixth sense, or is it just that sometimes we meet people and you just know something is off? That you feel that and tell yourself it’s your gut? Or does that sixth sense really exist?
I don’t have the answers to this, but through life I have learned that feeling i get is something I should listen to, to avoid any future hurt for others, but mostly for myself.
© Rebel’s Notes
Image from Pixabay