This Tell Me About prompt couldn’t have come at a better time since I, just like many other bloggers I have been following for years, have come to a crossroads regarding my online presence.
I have never been one for journaling. Oh, I have tried it — many times even — but my attempts always stranded after two or three lines. You should think, seeing that on this webiste I write about myself all the time, I should’ve been able to do journaling. But it’s different, or maybe it’s because I tried journaling in times when I needed to process feelings I was not ready to process, like when I cried for 6 weeks and ended up at a psychologist, who wanted me to do the journaling, and it just didn’t work.
Even so, ever since I have started using a Passion Planner, I have more or less been journaling. I don’t do it every day, but I do jot down things that have happened on some days, and at the end of the week I write a small summary of how the week has been. I definitely don’t put everything in there, but I suppose what I jot down can be seen as journaling. What I write is mostly not about my feelings, as that is something I find difficult to write (or talk) about at the moment those are running high. I always need time to process them, and the time I need can sometimes run up to months, depending on how intense those feelings are.
Will I changed my journaling habits in future? Yes, I think so. I have decided to stop using the Passion Planner, and step over to a different kind of planner/journal, and might try my hand at bullet journaling.
There was a time when my head was filled with stories, and I couldn’t wait to get them on paper. If you go through the history of this website, you will see that in the past years I have written very little erotica. There are just no stories in my head anymore. I am pretty sure they’re not gone, but only that I have spread myself so thin, that there was no space in my head for characters to form and find there way onto my screen.
I want to get back to writing, but in order to do so I first have to find some peace in my head, and as said above, it can sometimes take months for me to work through intense feelings. I have a lot to work through at the moment, but I also want to write, and share what I have written.
My first goal is to finish adjusting No Consent for the blog, and post that here on a regular basis. I am working on some other ideas too, and hope they will help me get back to creative writing again.
Other writing & blogging
At the end of January 2021, my blog will be 11 years old. For several years, I have been part of something bigger, something I enjoyed, but in these past months it brought me no joy anymore. I have come to the realization that I was doing too many things for others, and too little for myself. This means I have to take a long, hard look at what I am doing, and decide how I want to move forward.
I will still blog. Writing is part of who I am, as is sharing. I have renamed this blog to be a ‘lifestyle blog’ since nowadays I barely ever write about sex. I write about life, about mental and physical health, about menopause and past memories. Where sex was the main theme of my blog for years, the past months has seen it move away from that. Oh, I still occasionally write about sex, but it’s not the main goal of my blogging anymore. And of course, I still am the exhibitionist I always was, so I do keep on sharing sexy images, but I have also started sharing some of my ‘normal’ photography.
This year is into its second half. The rest of this year it will become clear — to me as much as to you — where I take my blog. There might be big changes, there might not be. There might be more stories, there might not be. I am sort of throwing everything I did and do onto one big pile — the good and the bad — and taking from that what works for me and what really makes me happy.
Because that’s what I need to do again: I need to do this for me. I have lost sight of that along the way, and I need to change that.
© Rebel’s Notes
Image from Pixabay