Whether you love or hate labels, we all need them to some degree to understand ourselves and present ourselves to the world. I frequently say “I am just me”, but that doesn’t tell people who don’t know me who ‘just me’ is. For them to understand a bit of ‘just me’, I need to add some words to that, and those words can be called ‘labels’. Some labels can be shared with everyone, others only with a select group of people.
There are some labels I use every day, and which I don’t have to tell people, because they know this about me. Those labels are:
- Wife: Walking next to Master T, taking care of him when needed, looking out for him when we are out and about — these are things people see, and they know I do it because I am his wife, because I love him. It very rarely happens that I have to tell people that I am a wife, because it’s so obvious. To me being a wife is one of the most important labels I carry, one of the most important roles I fulfill.
- Mom: An equally important role to me is being a mom. Besides Master T, my children are the most important in my life, and knowing they are happy and content, makes me feel the same. Most people in my surroundings know I am a mom, and know that my children are a very important part of my life.
- Grandmother: When you have children, the chance that you become a grandmother is alway present, and that happened ten years ago, when my first grandson was born. The second grandson came four years later, and those two boys are so damn special to me. There are no words to describe how important they are to me. This is not a label anyone sees, and many are surprised when I tell them I am a grandmother.
- Daughter: As many of you following this blog know, my mom passed away on 12 July 2017. My father is still alive (he turned 79 this month), but our bond is in no way the way my bond was with my mom. Something that has been on my mind lately, and is question that keeps on coming back when my grief flares up: will I still be a daughter when both my parents are gone?
- Friend & Colleague: These are two labels that are not obvious to people who see me in every day life, but I think all people easily assume we all have friends and colleagues. These are two labels I keep separate from each other. I would never want my friends to also be my colleagues, and my colleagues never become my friends, no matter how friendly I am with them. This is a line I always had, and it always came naturally.
Some labels are things some people know about me, but not something I will tell just anyone I meet. The most important of those labels are:
- Submissive: I think I have been born submissive. Looking back on my life before Master T, I see how I have always put the needs of the man in my life before my own. Unlike many other submissive women, I never asked Master T to be my dominant. He was the one who recognized it in me, and he was the one who suggested a structured D/s, an opportunity I jumped at. I have never looked back, and even with our D/s as low as it is now, and has been for some time, I am still the submissive I always was. His needs will always go before mine, and this is something I can’t explain to just anyone. Actually, this label could’ve been put under both the section above, and the section below, as it is so much part of who I am.
- Bisexual: I identify as a bisexual woman, but I am not necessarily looking for sexual interaction with another woman, and most definitely not for a relationship. The latter is simply because my relationship with Master T is very fulfilling, and I lack the energy to have a secondary relationship. As for sexual interaction, where I am not looking for it actively, I wouldn’t mind if it happens in a natural way with a woman I am attracted to.
- Lover: I am Master T’s lover, and he really is the only person I ever had and ever will show every part of my sexuality. Before him I have never been as comfortable with anyone about my sexuality, and I can’t imagine ever being it with anyone else. I wouldn’t say I am a good or exceptional lover, but I know I am good and exceptional with Master T, and that’s enough for me.
- Kinky: Meeting new people, or talking to colleagues or family, how can you ever tell them you are kinky? Most people just don’t want to hear this, which means this is a label I mostly keep to myself, just like the fact that I am submissive. I mostly only talk about kink stuff when I already know the person across from me is into it too, or open to hear more about it. But this is a label that is very much part of me, as I just can’t deny that I am kinky.
There are some labels I keep very private. It might be because I have to be strong for others, or because I am working through feelings, or because it’s just part of who I am. One thing I wish I could be less of is a people pleaser. I always want to make everyone happy, and in the process I forget about myself and my own happiness. So ‘people pleaser’ is one label I would gladly get rid of. Other private labels are sad, depressed, confused, hurt, lost, but also determined, resilient, and optimist. These are all labels I don’t talk about much, especially the negative ones, but they are very much part of the ‘just me’ I am.
© Rebel’s Notes
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