In a recent post I have mentioned how some doors have closed for me, and how I have some more thinking to do. All through this month I have wondered what to write about inspiration, as I don’t feel things are particularly inspiring at this moment.
But, thinking long and hard about that, it might not be entirely true.
I have mentioned how I have started crocheting, and where this can be seen as very ‘bourgeois’, I don’t care, as I am really enjoying it. I have always loved to create something from nothing, and the plaid I am crocheting is really coming along quite nicely. But, I have put it aside for a while, and am now first making two stuffed toys, one for each of my grandsons. I have never fiddled with such tiny things before, and am surprised at how much I enjoy it, and to see the stuffed toys taking shape.
To be honest, this is really inspiring!
Work from home
Just like so many others in the world, I have been working from home because of the pandemic. For me it started on 16 March, which means it’s already been 4.5 months and I am still enjoying it. I have already said: I don’t want to return to the office for 100% but prefer to work 50/50 – 50% at home, 50% in the office. I am getting a small taste of going back to the office, as from this week I am in the office every other Monday. This is to keep in contact with the ladies who have to be in the office every day, because apparently they miss me!
During the past 4.5 months I have received a lot of compliments and gratitude from my manager for taking over the work of others when things got hectic in the office, and for continuing to deliver a high standard of work. My productivity when at home is a lot higher than when I am in the office, which made it possible to do extra work, but to be honest, it is quite an inspiration when you feel appreciated.
In the past months I have been disappointed in a lot of people (as I know they have been in me), and I still feel the after effects (panic attacks) of all that has happened. However, it has not all been negative. I have come to be part of a group of people that are honest and outspoken, that are helpful and fair — special people. Together with Master T they have been rocks in the past months.
Speaking of Master T — I have no idea how I would’ve come through the past months was it not for him. We had conversations until the wee hours of the morning, and so many times he put his arms around me when a panic attack stole my breath and made my chest hurt, or the tears just kept on flowing.
We have also returned to our regular bistro after it had been closed for a year, and then for an additional two months because of the virus. It is wonderful to be back in ‘our spot’, to be able to relax, to feel appreciated for our presence. Yes, I know we are paying clients, but there’s a deeper layer than only that.
Over the past months, these people have kept me going, have listened to my words, have put a (virtual) arm around me when needed. They have all inspired me to keep on going, to believe in myself.
And finally, something sexy
Our sex life is still very very very slow. If I had written this post a week ago, I would’ve said that I have no idea when we last had sex. Now I can say that it was this past Saturday, and it came as a total surprise. On Friday night, Master T pinched my nipples and promised to do it again on Saturday. Now even if he say things like that, I know things can change, but this time it didn’t. In fact, more than only pinching happened — from a spanking to pinching to fingering to more pinching to orgasms, pinching, fingering, orgasms and finally swallowing.
I’ve had a post about not having sex in my mind for a few weeks now, and I will still write it, but for now I am just basking in this glimmer of hope, inspired by the marks on my bottom (I was surprised to find them by accident the next day, while doing photos of a rope tie). We are good, whether we have sex or not. We are always good.
And who knows, maybe Master T has found back some of his own inspiration for sexier things.
Find inspiration everywhere
Back when this year started I said my motto for this year would be ‘Carpe Diem‘, but sadly with all that have happened (not only the virus), I have lost sight of that. Thinking about this post and now writing it, I think I am ready to focus on my motto again. Things have changed, and they needed to change. I can see that now. I still have a lot to think about, as my path ahead is not clear, but inspiration is returning… and I am grabbing it with both hands!
© Rebel’s Notes
Image from Pixabay