I have written about photography a couple of times before:
- Photographer and Model
Ever since I have started to do my own photographs, I have discovered how difficult it was to be photographer and model. This was in the days before I had my own studio.
- Picture this…
A post about the reason for taking erotic photos and how much I am willing to share.
- Camera Antics
All about the cameras I have owned through my life.
- Photography and Me
This was the first time I shared some of my non-erotic photography on my blog.
I have a long journey of taking erotic photos, but my journey of being both photographer has only started a few years ago. At first I had to do it in our bedroom, but for some months now I’ve had my own studio.
Once my son moved out, we pulled everything out that was still in it — the original flooring, as well as empty boxes and old furniture my son left behind. Once it was empty, out came the paintbrushes and the paint, and we covered the dark patches on the ceiling with white. It took three layers to cover it fully, but finally all walls and the angled ceiling were white. Next came the light flooring, and there it was, a light studio. A place where I can be as creative as I want to be.
I have used it many times since, but with my mental health dwindling (understatement alert), the last couple of months, my photo sessions are not as frequent anymore. To ‘re-ignite’ the pleasure I always had in it, I set out to clear up all my photo props, all of which were still in boxes stacked in the corner. At the same time Master T started setting up the studio lighting we have, but we stopped halfway, just not in the mood anymore.
I need to change that, to get back to having the fun I always knew I would have to be able t create erotic images in my studio.
Trying out new things
My mind started telling me that I got stuck in making the same picture over and over again. I want to try out new things. I want to experiment with photos. I want to find new poses, want to set up a shot using the lights, want to use the different props I have. When Charlie X started Photography 101 series, ideas started coming again. Charlie explains things in such a clear way, that it’s easy to follow, and teaches a lot more than the photography workshop I did some years ago.
In the meantime all props have been sorted, and only two more things have to happen before I can restart my self-photography again — Master T needs to finish setting up the studio lights, and I need to find a way to block off the light coming in from the attic window. It’s a large window, and we never had any kind of curtaining for it. I need to make something for it, because I also want to experiment with low key photography, and that’s currently not possible.
Evolving erotic photography
I am an exhibitionist and like to show off my body. This shows in the photos I have shared over time, and sometimes those photos were very intimate, very revealing. The more confident I felt about myself, and about my body, the more I wanted and loved to share.
I think we all evolve, or move through phases. Currently I am in a phase where I don’t really want to take photos where I am fully naked. I want sensual photos, want to show a hint of flesh, but have the explicit bits covered up. This is not because I am ashamed of my body, but just how I feel at this moment. It might have something to do with my mental health, or just a phase I am in. Who knows.
Erotic photography is part of who I am. I can look at parts of my body and in my mind I put a frame around it; imagine it as a photo. A curve here. A close-up there. A scarf to add color. Lace to accentuate a line. I can find and see the beauty in my body, and feel the urge to capture it in an image, to share it with the world.
When I share I don’t do it because I want to be validated. I don’t share because I want comments where everyone tell me how beautiful I am. I share because I am an exhibitionist. Taking pictures and keeping them to myself will not feed that need, the need to share with others. I want others to see my creations too. Doesn’t any artist want to share their work with the world?
© Rebel’s Notes