Equal rights and responsibilities

I have said it many times before on this blog, but I seem to live with my head in the clouds. I seem to always be late to the party. What I mean by this is that I tend to just live my life, and the rest of life passes me by. Then something happens, and I make an effort to gain more information about it, and wonder why I haven’t known it years ago. Well, because I have my head in the clouds, obviously.

The same happened with the term ‘feminism’. Yes, I have heard the term, thought I knew what it meant, and never considered myself a feminist. Then the prompt was suggested for Wicked Wednesday. This was when I realized: I am a feminist. I am just not an activist (a person who campaigns to bring about political or social change), as I never had and probably never will have any debating skills.

What is feminism?

The Encyclopedia Britannica says: “Feminism, the belief in social, economic, and political equality of the sexes.”

In the article What is feminism? it’s stated: “Quite simply, feminism is about all genders having equal rights and opportunities.”

All the yes to this. I have frequently said on here that respect is very high in my book, that I respect people for who they are, no matter what they look like, what they believe in or how they identify. And I believe all people should be equal — each and every one of us!

So, if feminism is about all genders having equal rights and opportunities in social, economic and political fields, then I am a feminist.

Equal rights in our relationship

Even though Master T and I have agreed on a power exchange, where he is the dominant, and tells me what he expects of me, and I am the submissive and do as he says, we still have equal rights, as I have written about before.

Master T doesn’t make all the decisions, and tell me every step of the way what I should do. We have talked about this, and he said he would go crazy if he had to micro-manage me, and frankly, I would too. I am too much my own person to be micro-managed. Despite being a dreamer and having my heads in the clouds, I have my feet firmly on Mother Earth, and am very much capable of making my own decisions on many levels. And no matter what decisions I make, Master T knows that I will always tell him about them too, as we share everything.

Something we always discuss and decide on together are larger expenses. Even though Master T is the one handling our finances — I frequently call him my Minister of Finance — he will never purchase something expensive without first consulting with me. Mostly this goes for any purchases over 100 euros. The same way I will always discuss larger purchases with him, and sometimes even the smaller ones, when I doubt if I really want to buy it, or whether he might find it silly that I bought it.

Just like we have equal rights, we also have equal responsibilities for our life and well-being. When we married, we made the promise to care for each other in sickness and in health, and that is exactly what we do. Everyone who is a frequent reader of this blog will know that the past years haven’t been easy for us, and much of the caring have rested on my shoulders, as Master T’s health was not good. Thankfully the improvement we saw about a month ago, is still continuing and we are carefully adjusting to the idea that we finally have the worst behind us. There were, however, a time when the caring rested on Master T’s shoulders, when I injured both my feet and had to be in a wheelchair when we went out. In things like this we have equal rights, and equal responsibility.

The same goes for chores in and around the house. For the past years most have been done by me, but Master T has already done some garden work in the past weeks, something he wasn’t able to do for three years. And when I am cleaning inside, and need his help, all I have to do is ask and he will do it. This is an area where our power exchange doesn’t come into play.

When are we not equal?

I have mentioned it already – Master T is the dominant, and I am the submissive, and together we have agreed on a power exchange, where in specific areas in our relationship he is the one who decides what will happen and all I have to do is follow.

We don’t have equal rights in the bedroom.

Just this past weekend, I came back from the bathroom and he was in the recliner in our bedroom, getting ready for bed himself. I passed him, and he smacked my bum. It had been happening more frequently lately, but mostly it was a smack or two in passing. In the weekend he smacked my bum, and me being in a silly mood ‘turned the other cheek’, which he smacked too. I wanted to walk away, when he said: “Have I said you can go?”
My heart missed a beat, and I took a step back. He spanked my bottom until it was red, and only then was I allowed to go to bed.

Now in that moment I was definitely up for a spanking too, but even if I wasn’t, what Master T wanted would’ve take precedence over anything I wanted, because that is the inequality we have agreed upon.

The same with my orgasms. He owns my orgasms. I am not allowed to have one without his permission. In the past three years with things not being as they should have, my orgasms belonged to me again, until they didn’t. Those sporadic times where we had sex, I returned to asking for permission again, because that is part of our agreement.

There are more things where we are not equal, but bottom-line is that it’s because we have agreed on it, because it makes me and us happy.

We are each other’s equals, until we’re not.

© Rebel’s Notes
Image from Pixabay

Wicked Wednesday

10 thoughts on “Equal rights and responsibilities

  1. Ha me too, in terms of living in the clouds! You put it down quite nicely here, being a feminist just not an activist. I think that’s me too! And you’re right “the inequality we have agreed upon,” the agreeing being the key word. It’s hard to imagine people still don’t get that about D/s relationships but then I’ve only surrounded myself with people who get it!

    1. I have too many people around me who just don’t get it, and I have actually come to the point where I stopped explaining 😉

  2. I like how you point out the inequality you have is because you have agreed to permit this in your world. It is not out of malice or ignorance but out of a known agreement between the two of you.

    Keep ypu head in the clouds and feet on the ground, you have a great life and I hope you enjoy many more years (and spanking)

    1. I believe that as long as what happens between a couple makes them happy, it’s a good thing 🙂
      Thanks for your comment, K xox

  3. I believe in equity, but absolute equality means some things need to change that I’m not sure all women really want. For example…all men at 18 have to register for possible military service in the US. Women do not. If we were truly going to be equal…we’d have to do things like that. So…equity, yes! Equality…maybe not. And I know probably sounds heinous to some. But honestly, I don’t think most people would want the consequences that come with absolute equality. It’s why I don’t call myself a feminist. We need to be careful with the words we use and really understand the definitions and possible outcomes.

    1. Your comment really made me think, Brigit, and thinking back on my years in the military, and those heavy backpacks the men had to run with, but not the women, I don’t even want to think what would’ve happened if I had to carry the same weight they did. My ‘frame’ is not large, and I don’t think I would’ve been able to walk with the weight, let alone run. So if I look at that, I agree with you: equity: yes. Absolute equality: no.
      I need to read a lot more about feminism to grasp the full meaning of it.

  4. Having fun and being happy is the main priority and the unequal balance that comes from a Dom and sub dynamic absolutely is not the same as not having respect for each other. Its always lovely to read how you both get on together 🙂.

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