This is the rework of a self-published auto-biographical story (2008), rewritten for this blog. Names of characters have been changed.
Content warning: mental and physical abuse, misogyny.
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.
Reflecting: One Month In
Continued from… Sophia and the hooker
It was Friday evening.
Annie was in her own bed, thinking about what her life looked like at that moment. It had been a rough month — a month in which she had formed her opinion about Fred and Fran. The opinion that she had now differed a lot from the opinion that she had before she moved to the smallholding.
The man of the house had made it compulsory for the women to make love every Friday and Saturday evening. Sometimes it was fun, but sometimes Annie couldn’t wait for it to end.
Both the man and the woman of the house drank too much. Annie drank alcohol too, but she refused to drink at the same pace as the couple did. They didn’t even drink only on the weekends, but also during the week. Annie was convinced that Fran couldn’t go a day without her liquor. This irritated Annie. Something else that was very obvious, was that Fran was afraid of her husband. She would do anything not to provoke him. Why be afraid of his anger, Annie wondered. She would never crawl in front of a man the way Fran did.
Through her actions, Annie made it clear to Fred that she wouldn’t do everything his way. They had quite a number of differences of opinion, which sometimes ended in an intense argument. Annie refused to keep her mouth shut every time when something that bothered her, even though she also knew nothing would convince Fred otherwise, once he had made up his mind. From her side she didn’t argue that much anymore once she saw that he had already formed his judgment. Let him believe whatever he wanted to believe, was beginning to become her motto.
Annie loved the life on the plot. She enjoyed walking with Fred when he checks on the chickens, the sheep and the cows every evening. She could swim whenever she wanted to. Her kids had a wonderful big place to play and they enjoyed to hang around the couple’s daughters. Soon they would have neighbors on the plot. A middle-aged couple was going to move into the flat adjacent to the big house. Already Fred had lectured them to be careful for this couple not to find out exactly what the nature of the adults’ relationship was.
Every morning Annie brought the three younger children to school and then she went to work. Even before she left with the children, Fran left the plot with her oldest daughter. Fran would drop her daughter off at her high school in the city and then she went to work. In the afternoons, Fred was always the first to get home. Shortly after that, the women arrived home. Melanie always came home with her mom and on her way home, Fran also picked up the younger children from their school and aftercare. Annie always started with dinner and when Fran came home, she joined Annie in preparing the food.
Annie had also learned more about the bi-club. After the relationship between Fred, Fran and Barbara ended, Fred felt that his life was empty. He loved having sex with his wife (he never made a secret of it that having sex with Fran was better than sex with any other woman), but he also loved the excitement of having two women in his bed. To fill the void in his life, they had first placed an advert for a housekeeper. Quite quickly after the advert appeared in the papers, they received the first reactions. One of the primary conditions they had for a housekeeper was that she should move to the plot. This was how they met Lily, but she had only lived with them for a very short period.
For some time it was only the two of them, but then the couple had decided to go to the farm called God’s Mercy. Sophia came into their lives, but this too was over very quickly. Then Fred had a brilliant idea, according to himself. He decided to start a club for bisexual women. There was nothing wrong with this idea, but it had to happen discreetly, due to the conservative community they lived in. Bisexuality, nudism, partner swapping, homosexuality — these things happened around them, but no one wanted to be confronted with it. A more important reason to keep the club quiet was the fact that Fred was in the army, which was a prime example of a conservative community.
They received some reactions to the advert for the bi-club and they had a couple of trios as a result of those reactions. However, the couple found none of the women good enough to move in with them. This advert was the same advert to which Annie had sent her reaction. After her move to the plot, Annie discovered that Fran had nothing to do with the club at all. Fran only read the letters — those received, as well as those written by Fred to send back to the women. Fred typed the letters on his computer and Fran had to sign them. Fred never used his own name as he thought it might scare the women off. Annie realized that Fred had also written the letter she had received from the club!
Fred was happy with the having Annie around and didn’t see the need for the ad to be in the papers anymore after she had moved in. This knowledge didn’t make Annie happy anymore. She felt caught up in a web of wrong and strange things. Somehow, she needed to free herself from this, but she had no idea how. Yet again, she discovered that it was easier to start with something, than to end it.
“We shall see how long you will last here. Only you can determine that. I have a feeling that it won’t take long before you leave us.”
These words that Fred had spoken to her in one of their arguments during the last month, repeatedly sounded in her mind.
And this, was Annie’s last thought before she fell asleep, might be exactly what was keeping her here with this strange couple: she didn’t want to be considered a loser. She was not alone anymore after she had put her children to bed at night. Negative attention was better than no attention at all.
To be continued… Patty and Tom
© Rebel’s Notes