Being soulful means that you are in touch with your essence, that which makes you uniquely who you are. I have written in several posts how both Master T and I have been through our own kinds of hell before we finally found each other. Those bad journeys had taught both of us one thing: we were never going to change ourselves ever again to be person another expects us to be. If someone didn’t accept us as we were, we would just move on to someone who would.
I am so happy we were both on the same page, both being true to ourselves, baring our souls to each other. By doing that, we brought our essence to our relationship. No hidden agendas. No terms and conditions.
Being true to each other by being true to ourselves, has enhanced and is still enhancing the quality of our relationship. We know we can count on each other. We know that what we see is what we get, what we hear is true, what we experience is love and stability. By baring our souls to each other, we are much more sensitive (another s-word) to each other’s needs, and respectful of each other’s space.
By being sensitive to each other’s needs, we also know how to support each other. Neither of us like to be fussed over when we are sick. I tend to get incredibly emotional when I don’t feel well, as I always feel like my body has failed me in some or other way. Master T knows this, and he just lets me be, but also comforts me when I can’t keep the tears from running.
Where I will tell him how I feel without him asking it, he will never do that. I always have to ask how he feels, how his leg is doing, if he’s in pain. From the way he answers, I know how severe it is, and sometimes I ask more questions, sometimes I just let him be. I know him well enough to know what rout to follow.
He knows I will always be here to support him, in whatever measure he needs it. Whether its to just let him be, sitting in his chair watching a movie, or to lend him a hand when we walk outside, or hold his hand when we walk in the shopping center and the high ceilings force him towards a panic attack. There was a time when he hid those panic attacks from me, when he suffered through them all by himself. Until I realized what he was doing. I told him that we are in this relationship together, and that we have promised to support each other in sickness and in health. I wanted him — demanded it of him — to tell me when he needs my support. Whether it’s physical, mental or emotional, I am his wife and I am here to support him as much as I expect him to support me when I need it.
It didn’t change instantly, but he’s now to the point where, when we walk in the shopping center and he feels the panic rising, he will stop and ask me to take his hand. We look like the loving couple we are, walking hand in hand, but it’s my hand in his that offers him the support he needs, even though he’s physically not leaning on me.
One thing I have to mention here, is how thankful I am that Master T has supported me from the moment I had the idea to start this blog. Even though I spend many hours writing for it, and am quite busy with the Smut Marathon too, he keeps on supporting me, knowing how happy it makes me to get my words and images out there. Had he not supported me, I don’t think I would’ve been blogging anymore.
Have I told you yet that I am married to the most supporting soul mate anyone can ever wish to have? Well, now you know…
© Rebel’s Notes