Open & Overcome

I have written about honesty, about communication, about being mature and about being kind. All of those can also be added to the heading ‘Open’.

To be open in a relationship is similar to being honest with each other, and at the same time it’s keeping ourselves available and willing to listen to each other, to take in new ideas and points of view. In other words, to be mature and to communicate in a proper and balanced way.

Currently I am mostly the one with all the ideas, and all these projects I want to do — sometimes too many of them, to be honest. But, Master T is always open to my new ideas, and listens to my plans, but also gives me his honest opinion on it. Some months ago I had a new project in mind, and I bounced my idea off Master T. He listened to me, asked questions, and let me tell him all the ins and outs about it. Then he took a couple of moments to think about it, and told me why he thought it wasn’t a good idea. At first I felt crushed that he didn’t like my project, but he explained that it wasn’t that he didn’t like it, just that he was watching out for me as I was spreading myself too thin. I realized he was right, and let the project go. His openness and honesty helped me to make a better decision for myself.

I mentioned in another post that I feel safe in my relationship, and one of the reasons I do is because of the openness between us. There are no hidden agendas, not from my side, and not from Master T’s side either. What you see is what you get. We are open about who we are, honest about who we are, about where we want to go, what we want to do, what moves us and what doesn’t. Because of this we never have to walk on eggshells, but can be confident and at ease in our dealings with each other, and in our relationship. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

It’s because of the openness between us, that we can overcome problems together. We are a team. We are strong. No matter what life throws our way, we will get through it because of our unified front. Now I have to add here that I am not talking about any problems between us, because there are none, and never has been. Yes, I have blogged about how I miss intimacy, and how I miss the D/s and some other things between us. But I don’t see those as ‘problems’. They haven’t complicated our relationship. In fact, overcoming them together and working together to finding a ‘new normal’, might just be part of what makes our relationship even stronger. Like I said, we are a team, and absolutely nothing can get between us, except death.

And that is something that scares me. Death. I want to go before him and I don’t want to go before him. Our bond is so special that I don’t think either of us can live without the other. My life will be empty without my soul mate, and even though Master T is very rational about life and death, my passing might be the thing that breaks him. Yes, death scares me, and he knows that. We don’t talk about it much, but he knows how I feel, that the two of us should just go together. There’s just no other way.

That’s quite a depressing note to end this post, but these are things couple should talk about too, as death is the one ‘problem’ in life that can’t be overcome.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
© Rebel’s Notes

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9 thoughts on “Open & Overcome

  1. Somehow, what you write at the end makes me think about a children’s book I read when I was a child. You might know it, De Gebroeders Leewenhart? The Brothers Lionheart? Maybe you don’t know it, not sure why you would lol. But it’s about two brothers and the younger one is afraid of death so the older one reassures him by telling him tales about where you go after you die, which is a wonderful place. Then the older brother dies in by rescuing his younger brother in a fire, and later the younger brother dies because he was sick anyway, but then we go to this wonderful place and the book was written to make the idea of death less scary. I don’t suppose it would help for your fear because we’re adults now, but I suppose what you are writing brought up this sentiment.

    1. I believe I know the book, but can’t remember if I have ever actually read it. Death is something scary, but so much part of life that we do have to think and talk about it at times. And I think talking about it, however scary, can make it less frightening in a way.

  2. Death!! It is scary to contemplate. I would rather not think about it happening to my Queen or myself. We have talked about it though. She would want me to find someone else and we’ve insurance that would help the other move forward financially! But I’d rather not think about it. Life would be awful without her.

  3. We had two early deaths in our family and that made us talk about even though we both were in our thirties then. It is a difficult topic but I think it’s also good to talk about the fears. I also know it would break me but she already has plans for a time without me. I am a man and also older so most likely I’ll leave first so I encourage her to have plans for this time (and those plans contain a dog named after :-)…to end slightly funny note).

    1. I too think it’s important to talk about these things, but I find it very difficult to think about the ‘what if’. I like the funny note you closed on. Always keep on smiling 🙂

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