Taking the high road…
That is something I have done so many times in my life, that I have long lost count. Throughout my life I have always tried to understand the other person’s perspective, to understand where they come from, to understand who they are, what are important to them and to always treat them with respect. This is not to say that I have never made any mistakes where this is concerned. I have. I will be the first to admit that. I have difficulty tackling things heads on, so tend to ‘go in hiding’ when I am hurt or feel shame for something I have done wrong, and it depends on how I am treated whether I come out of hiding again. If I am treated with disrespect or contempt or shaming, my ‘hiding’ might turn into a permanent state. Just as a note: I never go into hiding without offering my apologies or try to offer an explanation.
That said, of course when you are part of a couple who live in the same house, there is no way to hide. Thankfully, I never have to, as Master T and I never have arguments, and life has taught as more than enough before we started our relationship, which meant that we accepted the other as they are. We always try to understand each other’s perspective, even if our own is totally different. Sometimes we have the most interesting discussions because I try to explain my perspective, or he tries to explain his. Always after such a conversation, I feel enriched, and I feel even more love for him.
But, this doesn’t mean we always agree with each other. No, when we don’t, we don’t get angry at each other, we don’t call each other out on being wrong, we don’t try to force each other to see it our way. No, we respect that there are some things we differ about, and we take the high road… because that’s what mature people do. It only makes our relationship stronger, and keep things interesting, because how boring would it be if we were exactly the same and thought exactly the same about everything. We see eye to eye on a lot of things, but I love that there are also things we differ in, and how it motivates us to have those conversations and try to ‘win’ the other over to our opinion.
I can tell you, it hardly ever happens!
Speaking about motivation… we are both fully motivated in begin a good spouse. We have never talked about what this means to us, about what we expect of the other in order for them to be a good spouse. When we were in the process of getting to know each other, the things we discussed and wanted to know of each other were very much all on a sexual level. I know this is getting kind of boring, but I truly think the reason we haven’t discussed it was because both of us think the same on what it mens to be a good spouse. And both of us were motivated from day one to be exactly that: good to each other.
Aside from the motivation to be a good spouse, we also motivate each other. Had our relationship not been as positive as it was, I think Master T would’ve long given up, stopped working and just sit in his chair every day. But, I don’t allow him to do that. I believe in always keeping going, and thankfully he does the same. Because, the same I don’t allow him to let his health problems get him down, he always motivates me to keep on going too. It can be work-related, blog-related or related to people I interact with. He always has my back, no matter what.
Together we motivate and inspire each other to keep on being the people we are.
© Rebel’s Notes