I sat looking at the word flexible, and one thing came to mind: I am more flexible now than I have been when we just moved in together. Back then I had this preconceived idea of what is expected from me as a wife. I needed to clean the house on weekends (back then I worked full-time), needed to do the laundry, including the ironing. This frequently meant that my weekend was filled with chores. On a Friday evening I would already start planning in my head what was to be done on Saturday, and what on Sunday.
Then one Saturday morning, just as we were having our second cup of tea before I was about to start with my cleaning chores, Master T suggested we drive out to the seaside. I totally lost it, telling him I can’t because of all the things I still had to do. He said it’s okay, we can go another time. Half an hour later, after re-organizing things in my head, I told him I was ready to go.
Gradually, over the years I have learned to be more flexible with all the chores and all the things I want to do. Yes, I have also become easier to put of things to a next day, or sometimes even a next weekend. I don”t push myself as hard as I was before, and this made me more flexible and means we have more relaxing weekends. It also helps that I now work only four days a week.
I think Master T was always more flexible — or is that relaxed — than I was, and gradually over the years he has taught me to be the same.
And I needed some flexibility for sure… remember I have mentioned that my husband and I allowed others into our sex lives, and how much uncertain I was about it when he first mentioned it, which was LONG before it actually happened.
I have been raised in a conservative community, with parents who stayed together for the ‘benefit of the kids’. We were taught that people don’t divorce at the slightest difficulty, but also that partners in a marriage should be faithful to one another. I was already in my late teens when I learned that my father was unfaithful to my mother both when she was pregnant with me, and with my brother. But, I also learned that my mother was unfaithful, and where my father had his suspicions, they were never confirmed.
What they did was wrong, and that was the thought that always got stuck in my head. I sort of understood why my mom did it — she was no in love with my mom anymore, but only staying with him because of my brother and me, and maybe she was also ‘getting back at him’. Still, what she did was wrong. What my father did was wrong.
When Master T said that he would love to see me have sex with others, the first thing I thought is that it would mean I am unfaithful to him. Because having sex with others when you are in a monogamous relationship is just not right. Right? I think it took me two years to realize that if it’s something we both want, something we both enjoy, something we decide together, it’s not wrong. I am not being unfaithful. We would always be together. Only if I or he do anything without the other being there, would it mean we are unfaithful.
Neither he, nor I have a desire to be with someone else, without the other being there. Nothing makes us happier than being together, and I think in that I can say that nothing makes us happier then being faithful to each other. I know Master T has never had one thought of being unfaithful to me, and I believe he knows the same of me.
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
© Rebel’s Notes