If there is one thing in life I don’t doubt even for a second, it’s our commitment to each other. We have this intrinsic belief that our relationship will be until ‘death do us part’. Like I wrote in yesterday’s post, we are each other’s best friend. We do so much together, and really enjoy being together. We plan our future together. We plan our present together. We trust each other, are open to each other, rely on each other.
Where we are committed to each other, we are also committed to our marriage. Back when we started our D/s, the one thing we said to each other is that our marriage is the most important and always will be on the number one spot. That meant that our D/s was an exciting addition, something that gave even more depth to the connection between us, but if the D/s would fall away, we would still have our marriage. Everything we have is built on the base of our marriage, as our connection is strong and forever.
Yes, I know none of us can look in the future, and having been trough two divorces, I know that marriages can be fragile. Still, with that knowledge and my experiences of the past, I dare to say that this relationship is different. In my previous marriages, I never felt the sense of commitment I do now. I might have been committed to them, but looking back I know they weren’t to me, and that meant my commitment to them grew thinner and thinner until it stopped.
Our commitment stays strong because we also communicate with each other, sometimes even without using words. Don’t they say that actions speak louder than words? Still, we do actually talk to each other too. One of the things we frequently do is to acknowledge to each other how good our relationship is, how privileged we are to have what we do.
Now I have written before about how I tend to think about what I have to say for days before I actually say it. This happens when I want to ask something for myself, when it has to do with intimacy, because even after all these years, and even though I know I can say and ask for anything, I still have problems to form the words. This still doesn’t take away that our communication is good, as many times even before I have finally mustered enough courage to say what I need, Master T already knows. Mostly he just waits until I am ready to say it, which in itself is a wonderful thing.
It’s a good thing because he allows me to be myself, and accepts that I need to find the words, and need to feel at ease and ready to speak them. That’s another form of our commitment to each other, to accept the other as they are. Master T is not a big talker, for instance, he rarely ever talks about his feelings and thoughts around his increasing disability, unless I prod him a little about it. He’s just more a thinker than a talker, but that is fine. I know him so well, that I can almost read his thoughts.
Like I said, we know how good our relationship is. We know how strong it is, and how fortunate and privileged we are to be so committed to each other, so in love. Many times when we go out for lunch or a drink and sit somewhere on a terrace out in the sun, we look at each other, smile and say: “Life is good.”
And life IS good. At that moment we don’t only mean the immediate situation, but everything. Our life. Our love. Everything.
Our life is good!
© Rebel’s Notes