I have written about dating on my blog before (disclaimer: some of them are sponsored posts), but its high time for another post about this.
What do I understand under dating?
Dating to me is when someone is interested in you, and they ask you out for dinner or the movies or for a walk on the beach to get to know you. It’s the phase before the possible start of a relationship, the phase where you get to know each other, and fall in love, or decide you are not suited for each other. You might need a couple of dates to get to know each other well enough to be able to decide whether you want to be in a relationship.
With that clarified, let me tell you about my dating life…
Back when I was a teenager, I never dated. I have never been asked to go out on a date. I had two relationships when I was in high school, and both of them started during school hours and ended there. One of the boys I never saw outside of school, and with the other I lied to my parents to go on holiday with him, and when we came back he broke my heart.
I met the father of my first child through his brother, who was a colleague of my father. We never dated either, but just jumped into a relationship, which consisted mainly of us being in bed together, and when I fell pregnant, he disappeared. In his defense, he did want me to marry him, but when I refused to correct one mistake with another, he was gone.
I was in the second year of university — I was eighteen — when I went to a dance with fellow students and there I met my first husband. The first couple of times we saw each other at the same dance, and then he started visiting me and I went to the barracks where he had a room. Two years later we were married, and two years later divorced. He never was my dream man, and I discovered too late he was abusive.
All through my adult life, until I met Master T, I never had a date with any of the men I ended up in a relationship. Oh wait, that’s a lie, as one date springs to mind, one I wish I never had. Just like in my teenage years I jumped into relationships only to discover later that they are not the person I though they are. Oh, some of them took me out on dates, but that was after we were together already, and it never felt like a real date, as we were already together.
Then I met Master T…
Dating Master T
Master T and I ‘met’ online. It was about two months after that we decided we wanted to meet each other. We arranged to meet close to his work, and he would drive me back home (about an hour’s drive). I got on the train, and he waited at the station. We sat for almost two hours talking in the car, before he drove me home. Now by then we were already in love, but not destined to be together as a couple for another year and a half. More unconventional dates follow… on a bench in Rotterdam, in the harbor of Rotterdam and ‘our spot’ close to the river in the town we live in now. We met at that spot quite a number of times, and yes, sexy fun happened too… in and on the car.
Life with Master T is so different. Even though we will be married for 15 years in November 2020, many times we go out, it feels like a date. Sometimes it simply for lunch after we have done our weekly groceries, other times it’s for dinner. I love our outings, as we talk about so many things, and each time it reminds me of the wonderful connection we have. Sometimes we just sit in the sun on a terrace, he with his whiskey, me with my wine, each on our phones and just enjoy the quiet buzzing of voices around us. Bliss.
But, Master T has also introduced me to a different kind of dating…
Master T introduced me to dating with others. It took me some time to get used to the idea to allow others into our relationship, and we had to lay down some ground rules for it. The first date would always be a coffee or a lunch or a dinner date, with little to no sexy action. Mostly none.
For the second date, the venue would be a place where some sexy things can happen, but sometimes a second date was also only a lunch or dinner date. It depend on how the first date went. If it was someone I felt a click with, it was easier to arrange for some sexy fun. And sometimes there was fondness for the person, and we would meet for lunch or dinner over and over again, and never get to any sexy fun, simply because the friendship developed in a different way. We had quite a number of sexy play dates in the years before Master T’s health deteriorated, and those are some good memories.
We have a good life. We have made some lovely friends along the way, some of whom I hope we will experience sexiness again.
And… with things looking up a bit, who knows how our date of next week Friday might turn out…
© Rebel’s Notes