Three days from today it will be my 53rd birthday. The third without my mom. The third year where I feel like someone has punched me in my gut, and I’m struggling to catch my breath. The third year I feel like I can scream to people to shut up when they tell me to ‘think of happy things’. I know they mean well, and it’s what I am doing. Constantly. I remember the happy things; more and more of them. But this sadness creeps up on me, holds me captive, and no matter what I try, I cannot shake it. This year I tried to be vigilant of it, especially as there were (are) already other things that have me on a mental low. I cannot even tell people how I feel, then the tears come. I can’t type the words, then the tears come. I am thinking I might need help, but just typing that brings tears to my eyes. And when the tears come, I blink my eyes to see my screen, and push all the thoughts to the far back of my mind.
On the twenty-fifth I celebrate my birthday. Tomorrow my children and best friend will be here for an early celebration, as Tuesday is a working day for all of us. There will be cake. There will be wine and tea and coffee. There will be memories of mom. Happy ones, sad ones. There will be hugs and laughter. There will be love. I will join in all of that, and hide these deep dark feelings inside me behind my smile, because I am ashamed of yet again feeling like I do.
It’s my birthday on the twenty-fifth, and where I am thankful for having been granted yet another birthday, I look forward to the twenty-sixth.
A piece of writing that made me squirm with pleasure was A Failed Attempt at Celibacy by Kristan X. Just read it, and you might be squirming in the end too. I can’t decide what I find hotter… the way he takes her, or the change in her… this is just hot!
And once again, Cara Thereon did it too: make me squirm with horniness. Her story Chastity taps right into one of my fantasies, but the way she has written this, is much hotter than my fantasy, that’s for sure!
Francesca Demont has been sharing stories from her time as Alyssia, and this post, What Money doesn’t buy – Alyssia quits just made me cringe, as changing the law is not always a good thing, and sometimes those who change the law because they say ‘things will be better’ just seem to have no idea how wrong they are.
Once again I am sharing my favorite images that have been shared for February Photofest.
- Door by Annie Savoy — The white lace is a beautiful frame for a beautiful bottom, and looks so delicate.
- Day Fifteen by Little Switch Bitch — The little peek LSB gives us here is so inviting, that I wanted to get under the water with her.
- No ordinary love by Nikki — There is nothing else I can say about this image but WOW. Seriously, WOW!
- XXX Chest Tie by Raven and Annabel — The edit of this rope bondage image is gorgeous!
- Dressed Down by Steeled Charmer — I love the dark, sultry image with the light highlighting Charmer’s beautiful cleavage.
- Marks by Eye — Eye is one of the sex bloggers I admire a lot. She is a gentle and caring soul, and she also has a gorgeous body!
- Soul Food by Considering Cuntella — This woman is just so talented with creating her images, like this rope work image is evidence of.
- Dancing with Scarves by Cat — Cat is really good at creating dramatic images, and in this one once again it’s her eyes that capture your attention.
- Innocence by Molly Moore — It seems I am a sucker for white lace, as this is the second image that caught my attention because of the beautiful white lace!
- Flowery by Deviant Succubus — Just look at this image! It’s not just an image, this is art. The colors are brilliant!
- Is This It by Exposing40 — I am enjoying E40’s album remake series, and this one must be my favorite of all, and not only because it shows Haiku’s fabulous bottom!
- Spread by Bluesubmission — There is just something about her position, that is so incredibly appealing!
- Wish You Were Her by Purple’s Gem — I am intrigued by photography using a glass ball. This image makes me long for summer days.
Prompts are great to inspire you to write a new post, and you can also combine two prompts (or three) if you want.
These are the ones currently running:
|Meme||Prompt||Date(s) to link|
|Masturbation Monday||Week 286 (Blue Submission)||21 to 25 February 2020|
|Wicked Wednesday||Prompt #404: Co-dependency / Inter-dependency||22 to 27 February 2020|
|Food for Thought||#137 – With Hindsight and Regrets
#138 – Time-slip
|18 to 23 February 2020
24 February to 1 March 2020
|Sinful Sunday||Fill the Frame||1 March 2020|
|Beyond Fetchat||Disability and Kink||19 to 24 February 2020|
|Kink of the week||Unfuckable Things/Objects||15 to 29 February 2020|
|Tell Me About…||#28: Codependency
#29: Edge play
|16 to 29 February 2020
1 to 14 March 2020
|Erotic Journal Challenge||Sensuality/Sexuality
|1 to 29 February 2020
1 to 31 March 2020
|Sex Blogger for Mental Health||Week 58: Toxic People
Week 60: Codependency
|17 to 23 February 2020
23 February to 1 March 2020
|Write Big Sexy Words||February’s Big Sexy Words – link to follow||1 to 29 February 2020|
|For the Health of it||Physical Health||24 February to 8 March 2020|
|Elust #128||Elust submissions||1 to 8 March 2020|
More memes — also those without prompts — can be found here. And, did you know that it’s perfectly okay to combine memes? Just make sure you have the buttons of those you link to in your post!
Every week someone else in the community does the top 3 roundup for Wicked Wednesday. Sometimes it’s me, but mostly it’s someone else. I love to engage others to do it, because I want Wicked Wednesday to be for everyone.
Are you interested in doing the roundup (again)? Just get in contact with me!
Prompt 403 for Wicked Wednesday was ‘Fishnets’ for which 37 posts were linked. The top 3 was done by Francesca Demont and she chose:
- The Desperation in Her Eyes by Lillith
- Fishnets and the Goth Subculture by Deviant Succubus
- Showing some leg by Julie
Last week I mentioned that the first voting round has closed the day before, and on Sunday the results for the first round of the Smut Marathon 2020 was announced. In the meantime the writers are working hard on their second assignment. The next voting round opens on 1 March 2020, so keep an eye on the site.
This day in past years
Sharing posts from the twenty-second day of February in the past years of my blog:
2012: Rape??? (Part 2 of 2)
Was it rape or not?
2013: Eroticon 2013 Session: Myth busting: the submissive woman by Molly Moore
One of my favorite sessions at our very first Eroticon.
2014: Black & red (#febphotofest)
I must definitely take more pictures with this red half-a-dress.
2014: Elust #55
Sharing the work of others in the community.
2015: Sign Language
Signs and symbols can send strong messages.
2016: ‘Crush Flight’ – Progress Report
A work-in-progress report of my debut novel.
2016: Erotic Self Torture
Using a search term to create a new blog post.
2017: Vintage Red
The same image as in 2014, but another edit.
An image of my bottom, and one I really love.
2019: Where Hands Touch
A post about hands, and my hands are in the picture…
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
© Rebel’s Notes