I like food.
I like many kinds of food, but there are quite a lot of things I don’t eat and never will. Think kidney beans (almost all kinds of legumes, actually), calamaris, oysters, and the list can get longer than this for sure. I was a difficult child, as I barely liked any kinds of vegetables, but nowadays there’s a fair amount of veggies I like and eat. Some I don’t like that much, but I do eat them. I like rice and pasta and potatoes, and meat… oh god, meat. I love my meat!
I can indulge in food, and since we go out for dinner quite often, I frequently come home from such an evening feeling terrible stuffed. Not a nice feeling at all, and yet I do it every time.
No, strike that… I used to do that. Recently I have decided to be more careful with my food again. During our vacation time I actually ended up eating only once a day. This was partly by choice, and partly because my body forced me to.
Just before we started our three week holiday (which ended yesterday), I had a couple of days where I started feeling sick. Every day it was a bit worse. Tummy ache. Nausea. Cramps. I had no idea where it came from, and actually thought I was getting a stomach flu. The evening of our last day of work we went out for dinner. I ordered a delicious stew, had three or four bites and got so nauseous that I couldn’t eat anymore. I felt terrible sending it all back. That was the fourth or fifth day that I felt sick, and as I decided to take some paracetamol to ease my tummy ache, I had an epiphany.
About two weeks earlier I stopped taking my Omeprazole tablets, which I had been taking for three or four years now. I wanted to see whether I could go without them. Only thing is, when I started feeling sick, I had already forgotten that I had stopped with the meds, up to the moment I had the epiphany. I got new tablets the next day and it took another week for my tummy to settle. That was when I realized I had been abusing my tummy. I had indulged in too many foods that were not good for me.
Back in 2016 I changed my habits to follow the LCHF lifestyle, and not only did that totally settle my tummy, but I also lost quite a lot of weight. When my mother got sick, I slipped and reached for comfort food: cakes and bread and fries… and I didn’t stop anymore. I gained back ALL the weight I had lost, and had been trying many times to get back to LCHF but without ANY success. I just indulge in food too much… but I might have found a way to change that and maybe, just maybe I can get back to LCHF. We’ll see.
When I say I love food, I also mean I love biscuits and cake and chocolate and chips and some other delicious things. Chocolate… chocolate is my nemesis. When I see it, I want it, and I can’t stop with just one piece. No, I want more. Sometimes I do this with biscuits too.I have this explanation for my urge to eat more of the sweet things: back when I was a child, my parents didn’t have much money. One weekend I was allowed to go with my mom for groceries, the next my brother. We always got one mini chocolate bar from my mom, and the one that stayed home got nothing. Maybe this is why I have this feeling I should eat it NOW, and I should make sure I have enough before someone else takes it? I have been working hard to change this… and will keep on doing so.
Do I have a vice… or two?
Writing the above, I realize food is not only my indulgence, but also my vice. I should learn to have a better relationship with it, and I do believe the last week and a half, I’ve made a start with that. Let’s see if I can maintain it once I am back in the office four days a week.
Other vices are sleeping in (god I love to sleep in!), having a glass of wine or two when we go out for dinner and getting massages. There’s just something about getting a massage that is so damn good. It doesn’t even matter whether it’s a painful sports massage, or a relaxing hot stone one… as long as someone touches my body and massages my muscles, I am happy. This reminds me, I think it might just be time for a massage again!
© Rebel’s Notes