Ah… ooh… aah… oooooh… FAKE!

eighty orgasms
Image originally posted in ‘Fucked out‘.

I used to fake orgasms.

There, I’ve said it.

I used to fake orgasms.

However, I can safely say that I haven’t faked an orgasm in almost eighteen years, which is ever since I met and got sexually involved with Master T.

Before that was a different story.

Back in my first sexual years, there were no such thing as Internet, and I had very little resources to read about sex, if I ever would’ve had the inclination to do so. I didn’t. No one talked about it either, and I can safely say that in my first years I had no idea what an orgasm was, until that one day, which was also the very first time I squirted, and I had absolutely no idea what had happened. I thought I had peed myself, but the feeling that came with it was so incredibly wonderful, that I wanted to experience it again. Not only I wanted to experienced again, but my husband (the first) wanted to get me to the same point again.

It didn’t happen again.

In the relationships that followed after my first marriage failed, I started faking orgasms. I knew what men wanted to hear, what they wanted to see, and my moaning was perfected, as well as my bodily ‘reactions’, all except for the squirting. And all the while, while faking those orgasms, I so longed to be brought to orgasm again the way my first husband did. So much so, that five years after our divorce, I had a secret meeting with him in a friend’s house. He wanted to fuck me again, and I wanted to experience an orgasm again. The fucking happened, and according to him the orgasms did too.

It didn’t.

The last relationship I was in before I left South Africa, was one where I faked many orgasms. Most of those orgasms, especially towards the end of the relationship, were faked because I wanted the sex to be over. I could’ve refused to have sex, but I knew exactly what that would bring me, so I chose to fake, and hoped to god he wouldn’t realize what I was doing, as that would have had the same consequences as refusing sex.

I can safely say that I also faked orgasms in my second marriage. Maybe not in the first year, but most definitely in the three that followed. This also happened because I just wanted to have it over and done with.

It was only after my second marriage ended that I decided that I don’t want to fake anymore. If a man wants to bring me to orgasm, he would have to work for it, and if he doesn’t succeed, I would just do it myself. And I did. I think I can safely say I haven’t faked orgasms again after that, and with Master T I have never ever had the urge to do so. He brings me so many different kinds of orgasms, from the drier ones to those that soak the bed below me. He knows my body so well, and knows exactly what to do to get me to the point where all I want to feel is that all-consuming feeling of lust and release as the Big O takes over my body.

Am I good at faking orgasms?

I used to be good. Not from the start, but the men were just as inexperienced as I was, so they couldn’t tell. The more I ‘practiced’, the better I got at it. And to be honest, the ooh-ing and aah-ing definitely seemed to get some of the men off so quickly that they didn’t even notice whether I had an orgasm or not.

Would you be able to tell if your lover was faking it?

I think it’s easier to tell whether a man is faking it or not, since there is always ejaculation, or mostly. There was this one night when Master T and I had sex several years ago, and he had every sign of an orgasm, from the grunting to the spasms of his cock, but no ejaculation. I was so surprised and seriously, my first thought was that he faked it, and it disappointed me greatly, because I knew he would never do it. I asked him, and he explained that sometime there can be little to no ejaculation. Of course I searched for articles about it, and realized that I had learned something new.

I really believe that if I would be with a female partner, there would be no way for me to tell whether she is faking or not.

Do you think it is important for all players in a sex session to climax?

Not anymore. There was a time when I believed that if someone didn’t have a climax, they can’t be satisfied, and even that I am a failure because I couldn’t bring them to orgasm. But I don’t believe this anymore. I know now that there can be factors why someone don’t climax, which doesn’t mean they haven’t enjoyed the sex and are not satisfied. Sex is not about the climax. It’s about intimacy and joy, about exploring each other’s bodies and learning more about your own. The climax is only the cherry on the cake, but sometimes the cherry is not as tasty as the cake itself.

As long as everyone comes away from a sex session feeling happy and satisfied, it doesn’t matter whether everyone had orgasms or not.

I will much rather have had a sex session and feel satisfied and happy, then feel guilty and wonder whether anyone had noticed my faking. No, no more faking for me.

© Rebel’s Notes

Food for Thought Friday

11 thoughts on “Ah… ooh… aah… oooooh… FAKE!

  1. It is definitely about the intimacy and joy. It takes so much for me to orgasm that at times I get myself worked up about sex and then can’t orgasm. Vicious cycle! I’ve had to learn that it’s okay to just enjoy the sex. It feels good and if I don’t get off, it doesn’t matter. But I’ve definitely faked it before that realization kicked in. Thanks for sharing!

  2. Like you I faked orgasms in the past, but have no need to now. In some ways it is the relationship, but also I think maturity teaches you that there should be no need.

  3. I love how many bloggers who have blogged on this theme have said that they used to fake orgasms, but they don’t feel the need to anymore. Either because they are too fed up with faking it or because they are with a lover with whom they can be honest and open. I agree with you that I’d rather have satisfying sex with no orgasm than faking it and feeling bad about it.

  4. Great share Marie, I admire your honesty and am pleased you are now with a lover who’s so in tune with you. What a shame about all those wasted years of bad, unsatisfactory sex, and fear seems implied too.

    You’ve also reminded me that I was shy to climax with a partner when I was young – not knowing much about sex I felt embarrassed to let loose and really get into it! I’d only seen the grunting and odd noises portrayed in films – how funny!

  5. I must admit I’ve faked them, too. Hasn’t every woman at least once? But I agree with others, I’m too old to be faking it because I’m too old to want bad sex, lol!

  6. For me it was the closeness I have with my man that made it ok for me to say “nah – its not happening” – and yes one faked I too seemed to get better and better at that lol x

  7. I used to think that orgasm was nessecary for every sexual encounter and would feel disappointed if I wasn’t able to give my partner one. Now I see its more than that, but I can still understand why someone would fake it.

  8. It honestly makes so much sense to me that you faked orgasms all those years back. I think we often think it’s our fault if we can’t orgasm when our partner tries to make us and we might not want to make them feel bad and there might also be shame in not being able to if one does feel like it’s their own fault.

    It’s very interesting reading your account of it all!

    I also faked some orgams with my ex girlfriend, though at first I tried to tell and show her how she could give me an orgasm but she just wasn’t really up for learning it? So it was easier in the end to just fake it for a while until I just started saying I didn’t want to try and have an orgasm.

    I’m definitely wise and confident enough now to never fake it again. And the way you wrote about it, the never faking it again is empowering!

    Also this doesn’t have as much to do with the content but the way you wrote it was very organised and really pleasant to read

  9. Haha! I thought I’d peed myself too the first time I squirted….you are right about the sensation! Its sensational. Faking? Too old for that. I just enjoy whatever happens…usually an orgasm! Don’t think I could fake the screams and yells I make!

  10. Oh, I know the feeling!
    I have been faking orgasms for many years as well.
    Until I realised that there are no benifits foranyine if I do it.
    I will not be satisfied and my partner won’t learn how to satisfy me.
    Thank you for the post

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