Dildo-ology

I am in no way going to portray myself as an expert on dildos, but after the very open conversation and noticing how little she knows about sex toys, I wanted to write about my own experiences with dildos.
Just an upfront warning: this post will contain links to other sites.

So, back to my own experiences…

Between 15 and 30 years old

I bought my first sex toy in my early twenties, but it wasn’t a dildo. It was a vibrating egg, and where I loved the idea of using it, it never did much for me. Up to my thirtieth year I never owned a dildo, but this doesn’t mean that nothing was pushed inside. The handle of the hair brush frequently saw my insides, and sometimes I even lubed up a deodorant canister and pushed that inside. Now, in full disclosure, the ‘lube’ I used was mostly body lotion because I just didn’t have anything else.

You should cringe when you read what I did. I do, when I think back on it. I never washed the brushes/canisters before I pushed them inside, and in hindsight I believe I have frequently caused the vaginal infections I got for so many years. Back then I knew so very little about sex toys, and not for once took my own safety into account.

30 to 40 years old

Somewhere in my thirties I entered a sex store for the first time to buy myself a dildo, with little money to spend, but the desire to own something I could pleasure myself with, I ended up buying a cheap dildo. Yep, you are allowed to cringe again, because obviously I bought something that had toxic materials in it. But at least I owned a dildo, and didn’t use brushes and canisters anymore!

Since my forties

I didn’t magically become more savvy about dildos when I turned forty. No, I still had some of my bad sex toys, which we still used. I remembered the one time when Master T pushed a bright pink jelly dildo into my cunt and it burned me. Literally burned me so painfully that I begged him to pull it out and never use on me ever again.

That was the turning point for me, where I started looking into the different possibilities out there and started reading more about sex toys. By then I also had this blog, which made it easier to find resources and different opinions and experiences. Because of my bad experience with the jelly dildo, I steered clear from using those, but looked into dildos that are made of other materials. And believe me, there are a lot of different materials out there ranging from the squishy jelly dildos to ones made of silicon or rubber or glass and sometimes even steel, and you can find dildos in almost any color you prefer.

So, what should you look for?

A good starting point is to look at the materials used to make the toy. Some weeks ago I shared a guide to safe sex toys and I urge you to start there, before you even start looking at shapes and sizes of dildos. Frequently return to this guide to be sure you make an informed choice before you buy a toy!

Dildos come in all shapes and sizes. Some of them are smooth, others are textures. Some end in a simple ‘tip’ others with a kind of bulb or bend at the end to tease your G-spot. Some dildos can be stuck to a flat surface, to be used without hands, and others you (or your partner) have to hold. Nowadays you even have squirting dildos.

Only you can decide what works for you, whether you will get off on a realistic dildo, or you prefer the smoothness of glass. You are also the only one who can decide what length you want, and how thick the dildo should be.

My one piece of advice: don’t just go out and buy a dildo, but make sure you know what you are buying by doing your research. If you can’t find the information you are looking for, just ask!

Anecdote:
There was a time when both Master T and I thought ‘the bigger the better’. Believe me, it’s not. We bought a huge dildo that was as thick as my underarm, but only use it once for photos and never again, because the thing just didn’t appeal to us once we held it in our hands.

My preferences

Glass. I will go for a glass dildo ANY day. I love the smoothness of it, even when it’s textured, and I love that you can use it either after warming it, or keeping it in a bucket of ice for a while. Glass is also very easy to clean, and seriously, you get some of the most beautiful designs out there. I am particularly intrigued by the Icicles series

There are one thing I am still looking for, but my fear to use any of the ‘softer’ materials keep me from buying one. I am talking about a double dildo, one that I can use with another woman. The previous one I had was made of jelly, which got all sticky and yucky after not using it for a couple of months. We did buy another one some years ago, so I could use it with Sophia, but it was so bendy that we couldn’t put any pressure on it to fuck each other. So, the search is still on to find a double dildo that is both long and firm enough for us to use together.

To get back to the conversation I had with my daughter… since I realized she knows so little, and I don’t want her to make the same mistake as I did, I lectured her on dildos, and told her that if ever she has interest in anything, to come to me first so we can look together whether it’s safe to use or not. In the meantime, since I have quite a collection of toys I have tested and not used since, she has an unlimited supply of toys to use. I already gave her a bag full, and I think it will be some months before she comes back for more!

© Rebel’s Notes

4 thoughts on “Dildo-ology

  1. I never had any “devices” until I met my current husband 21 years ago. ( I was 30 at the time) he’s bought me several different vibes, dildo’s and eggs. ive loved them all, I really like him to use them on me. alone time by myself, I use my fingers. one of my daughters, and my niece asked me point blank about sex, toys and my (our) sex life. we all went to the toy store that afternoon and picked something out.

  2. I went back and read the story about your daughter too. Such a lovely pair of post. Family bonding and educational dildo talk! That’s why I love your blog- among other reasons!!

  3. It’s great that you’re able to pass on your knowledge to your daughter. From the photo I thought you’d used a courgette as a dildo, much better than eating them in my opinion..

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