One Step Back

My regular readers will have noticed: for months now a new blog post appeared on my site every single day. On rare occasions I even posted two blog posts on the same day. For about two months now I knew something need to change, that I need to give myself a break, but…

… I want to support others in the community too. I myself am a meme holder and I want nothing more than for people to join in, which is why I join in (almost) every meme out there. I want to support others in their projects, because I want their support too. This has grown to me posting every day, where there was a time that I kept two days a week open on my blog. Besides joining in with all memes, I also do a weekly #SoSS and to do it, I need to read all the posts on others blogs, as I don’t want to promote the same people every week (I know this sometimes happens). I always sign up for email updates from all blogs, which means I have numerous emails every day, but this works for me.

When I learned that Brigit Delaney has changed her weekly meme – Erotic Journal Challenge – to a monthly one, and the skies didn’t come down on her, I understood: only I can change my hectic schedule. I never have time to read a blog, never have time to just hang on the couch and watch a movie. This is not healthy, and in the long run can even make me sick. I am well aware of this, as

I need to take a step back. No, I am not taking a step back from blogging, but I need to be more selective with what I post. I need to combine things; combine prompts. I will not be unique in this at all, as many bloggers do this (and I have also), and in that way you still support the memes. This change might be apparent on my blog right away, and it might not be. I don’t know how this will take shape – and I don’t even know why I am currently writing this post to tell you all this – but one thing I know for sure: I am taking one step back. I have to.

A week or so ago I commented on a post by Deviant Succubus that she should never feel bad when her health takes precedence over blogging. I stand by what I have said, but still feel a bit bad that I am planning to take a step back. Oh, I will still be very active, and some might not even notice the step I take. I just need less pressure, and less of feeling guilty if I don’t have time to write a post. Some people have remarked and asked how I do it all, and frankly, I don’t know. I just do. But yes, I notice it too, and want to give myself some room for relaxing things too, even though my blog and writing is one of the most relaxing things I do.

I need to re-evaluate, find a new balance and stop pushing myself so ridiculously hard as I have ever since I tried to drown out my feelings of grief in 2017 and 2018. Because yes, much of this started when my mom passed away, or maybe even before that, because when I write, I don’t have to think of the things that hurt me so much. Ever since the EMDR I have been feeling better, and stronger, but I notice that lately I am a bit more teary than I have been for some time, and I know I am a wee bit overworked. I need to change that.

Maybe that one step back is actually not a step back, but a step forward…

© Rebel’s Notes

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19 thoughts on “One Step Back

  1. I really needed to come back to this post as it really tugged at me when I first read it. I can so relate to overstretchimg myself, recently months have proved it’s to my detriment. I think you’re a kind and caring powerhouse and you give so very much of yourself, whilst it’s always deeply appreciated I think it’s so good you are prioritising yourself and pulling back a little, that’s really valuable self care. Totally got your back and it reminds me again to pace myself too, so thank you xx

  2. I am happy to hear (read) this. I often wondered how you could do all that you do and not suffer from a burn-out of sorts. You have been so supportive with SB4MH and all the other memes out there and everyone (I’m sure I can say everyone) will not get upset or be hurt if you take a step back from all that you do here with us and for us.
    Enjoy your “step back.”

  3. Well done to you, Marie. It’s so important to prioritise one’s health, and you’re taking a really proactive step in your self-care. ??

  4. Wonderful Marie!! You go girl! I have said before I don’t know how you do it. I hardly have time just to do my normal things during the day, let alone write every day. You are amazing! I had to back off even more from writing on my blog recently while I try to decide what is best for me to move forward in my blog, my writing, and what I want to do to further my writing career. Sometimes it just has to be done. xx

    1. I have been thinking about it a lot, and you were the one pulling me across the line.

  5. Oh Marie – you’re doing the right thing. You will stay consistent and true, but without being so stretched thin. You have to pick your battles as they say, and reading and writing and hosting all take a lot of time and commitment. You have a f/t job also, alongside a lover and a family. Give them a bit more of your time. This community appreciates what you do and won’t feel short changed in the slightest. xx

  6. Brava to you. You know what you need and it’s important to take those steps for the preservation of yourself. You post a ton and I’ve been in awe of that. Do what makes you the strongest because in the long run too much of this May rub you down to the point you don’t want to blog at all. Take care of yourself!

  7. I am so glad to read this. I have wondered how u manage to output AND give so much. I think you are right to take a step back – but that will be a step forward for you personally x
    PS – I really enjoy thinking how to link a post to more than one meme – it is very satisfying 😉

  8. Totally agree . . . and totally understand.
    I have always been in awe of your postings, but as Exposing40 said, time for you . . . “me time” . . . is so important !!!

    Xxx – K

  9. I’m kind of happy to read this. I’ve never quite been able to work out how you fit it all in with you job at well. I’m happy you are keeping some time for just you. Xx

  10. Needs and priorities fluctuate, and just as you would never judge or hold it against any of us if we posted less often or took a break, we won’t judge you either. I’d rather see you do a little less and stay engaged with the community than try to do it all and burn out. Do what feels balanced and sustainable for YOU. Only you know what that is. Xx

  11. You do so much for others, you support, you comment, you leave your presence with likes/RT/ hearts etc
    You are relentless in your passion for inclusivity for all, especially new names/blogs; you review, you research, you take photos and without fail, do this repeatedly. You must take care of You. Your health, although clichè is of paramount importance.
    Practice “the pause”

    With very best wishes
    Swirly ??

  12. Oh Marie, you do so much for everyone else that I can’t think of anyone except yourself who would begrudge you introducing a little slack into your workload.

    Being healthy is paramount and work needs to be subservient to that – something too easy to ignore.

    Find the level you’re comfortable with and we’ll still be here cheering you on

  13. You are a superstar, running meme’s, writing regularly, reading and commenting on so many posts. There is no-one that wouldn’t understand a need to step back. Do what is right for you ?.

  14. There are many people who try to do too much, and ultimately it isn’t healthy. You must be kind to yourself and let go of any guilt you may feel for not doing everything.

  15. I am glad you are thinking of yourself first. It’s like what they tell you on an airplane… Put your own oxygen on first and then help your child, partner, companion. You can’t help them if you can’t breathe.

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