My regular readers will have noticed: for months now a new blog post appeared on my site every single day. On rare occasions I even posted two blog posts on the same day. For about two months now I knew something need to change, that I need to give myself a break, but…
… I want to support others in the community too. I myself am a meme holder and I want nothing more than for people to join in, which is why I join in (almost) every meme out there. I want to support others in their projects, because I want their support too. This has grown to me posting every day, where there was a time that I kept two days a week open on my blog. Besides joining in with all memes, I also do a weekly #SoSS and to do it, I need to read all the posts on others blogs, as I don’t want to promote the same people every week (I know this sometimes happens). I always sign up for email updates from all blogs, which means I have numerous emails every day, but this works for me.
When I learned that Brigit Delaney has changed her weekly meme – Erotic Journal Challenge – to a monthly one, and the skies didn’t come down on her, I understood: only I can change my hectic schedule. I never have time to read a blog, never have time to just hang on the couch and watch a movie. This is not healthy, and in the long run can even make me sick. I am well aware of this, as
I need to take a step back. No, I am not taking a step back from blogging, but I need to be more selective with what I post. I need to combine things; combine prompts. I will not be unique in this at all, as many bloggers do this (and I have also), and in that way you still support the memes. This change might be apparent on my blog right away, and it might not be. I don’t know how this will take shape – and I don’t even know why I am currently writing this post to tell you all this – but one thing I know for sure: I am taking one step back. I have to.
A week or so ago I commented on a post by Deviant Succubus that she should never feel bad when her health takes precedence over blogging. I stand by what I have said, but still feel a bit bad that I am planning to take a step back. Oh, I will still be very active, and some might not even notice the step I take. I just need less pressure, and less of feeling guilty if I don’t have time to write a post. Some people have remarked and asked how I do it all, and frankly, I don’t know. I just do. But yes, I notice it too, and want to give myself some room for relaxing things too, even though my blog and writing is one of the most relaxing things I do.
I need to re-evaluate, find a new balance and stop pushing myself so ridiculously hard as I have ever since I tried to drown out my feelings of grief in 2017 and 2018. Because yes, much of this started when my mom passed away, or maybe even before that, because when I write, I don’t have to think of the things that hurt me so much. Ever since the EMDR I have been feeling better, and stronger, but I notice that lately I am a bit more teary than I have been for some time, and I know I am a wee bit overworked. I need to change that.
Maybe that one step back is actually not a step back, but a step forward…
© Rebel’s Notes