No Consent: Unexpected love

This is the rework of a self-published auto-biographical story (2008), rewritten for this blog. Names of characters have been changed.
Content warning: mental and physical abuse, misogyny.

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.

Unexpected love
February to November 1993

Continued from… Prologue (part 3)

Annie met Joe almost by accident in February 1993.

After having searched for her former husband for months, Annie finally got a judge to agree to a court order to force her him to pay the alimony he had been neglecting to pay for months. Someone tipped her on his whereabouts and a warrant for his arrest was sent to a police station close to his address. Annie had been battling for months to find him, and this close to getting the money he owed her, she jumped the gun and called the precinct. Her call was accidentally transferred to the murder unit.

An agent sympathetically listened to her story. He showed interest in what she had to tell, and had some questions to clarify her story even more. Annie needed that; for someone to listen. Not once did she hesitate answering his questions, also because he was respectful in the way he asked them. After she gave him as all the information she had, he promised to call her back. He did.

They had another lengthy conversation and soon they weren’t talking about her ex-husband anymore, but about themselves. Conversations lasted until deep in the night, and was about any subject under the sun. They discovered many mutual interests and made plans for a better world for everyone. A nice friendship blossomed between them, and soon Joe started visiting Annie at home. Over time their friendship flowed into an intimate relationship. They were deeply in love, but in a calm way, which was unlike Annie. Had Annie known this relationship would end in tears too, she might never have started with it.

Something both of them loved to do was going on hiking trips that lasted several days. Every couple of weeks they left the hustle and bustle of life behind them and off they went, sleeping under the stars and walking through some of the most beautiful parts of the country. It was during one of their last hiking trips that Joe told Annie he felt smothered by their relationship. He wanted out of it; to be free to do his own thing again. He had major plans for his life and being in a relationship with a woman who had children didn’t leave room for those plans. For the sake of the people around them, Annie kept a happy face, but inside her heart was breaking in a million pieces. She tried to be strong, despite her sadness. By the end of the week-long hiking trip, Joe promised her to try again, as he couldn’t handle Annie’s grief.

* * * * *

One evening, in the period when they were trying to pick up the pieces of their almost-broken relationship, Annie lay in bed in Joe’s arms. Joe listened to Annie telling him about two lesbian colleagues. Very little people knew about their relationship, because in their conservative community it wasn’t easily accepted.

“Did you have a special friend before you moved here?” Joe asked.
“Yes, but our friendship ended when she married an America and emigrated there.”
“What kind of friendship did you have?”
“What do you mean?” Annie frowned.
“Tell me about her.”
“Her name was Zelda. She was spontaneous and uncomplicated, which many men seemed to find attractive. Even though she wasn’t a looker, with her personality, she was kind of sexy.”

“How did you meet?” Joe wanted to know after short silence.
“We worked in the same department and trained together. She always told me about her sexual escapades. In detail! Even about the American she married. Hot! I admired her for her openness and wish I could be a bit more like her.”

Annie was quiet for a while.

“There was only one thing I really didn’t like about her. She drank too much and then she did irresponsible things. But, we were best friends; up to the moment she started making plans to move to America. It’s only natural that the move and the upcoming wedding got more attention than friendships, but she actually pushed away everyone but him. Our friendship ended. A pity.”
“You found her sexy too?” Joe asked.
“Uh… ye… ye-es.”
“Did you ever think about going to bed with her?”
“Not consciously, no.”
“Did you fantasize about it?”
“No.” Annie hesitated. “Not consciously either… I think.”
“Would you have liked to make love to her?” Joe’s direct question startled Annie and she started laughing nervously.
“Mmmm… I don’t know!”

It was quiet once more. Joe tightened his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer.
“Close your eyes. Concentrate on my voice. Feel what I say. Dare to go where I want you to go.”
Annie closed her eyes.

“You and Zelda are sitting on the couch, each with a glass of wine. You are both a bit tipsy. This is not your first glass. Zelda tells you about her sex life again. It’s different this time though. She wants to excite you. It works. She moves closer to you and her hand…” Joe’s voice carried on in the same monotone. “… and then both of you climaxed together.”

Annie slowly opened her eyes. She tried to get her breathing back to normal, and noticed Joe’s excitement too.
“My love, do you know what I think?” Joe’s voice sounded dreamy. He carried on before Annie could answer. “You will allow a woman in your bed if the opportunity arises.”

For a flashing moment, Annie remembered the experiences during her preteen years. Could Joe be right? Would she allow a woman in her bed? But, she couldn’t! What would people think of her if she did? Never! She quickly dismissed the thoughts and feelings when Joe turned to take her in his arms.

To be continued… Joe’s Betrayal

© Rebel’s Notes

3 thoughts on “No Consent: Unexpected love

  1. The pain of that conversation…the curiosity and wonder of discovering other forms of desire. I love how complex and nuanced this is.

  2. Oh how dreadful to have to try and cope with what Joe told Annie on the camping trip – I could feel her/your pain. Now I am wondering what Joe’s next move will be xx

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