This is the rework of a self-published auto-biographical story (2008), rewritten for this blog. Names of characters have been changed.
Content warning: mental and physical abuse, misogyny.
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.
Prologue (part 2)
Continued from… Prologue (part 1)
His hand was there. On the inside of Annie’s thigh. It crept upwards. His fingers forced her legs apart. Then he touched her.
In one slick movement, he lifted her panties and slipped a finger inside. He read on, his voice not betraying what was happening. Annie felt his finger moving around in circles. He was hurting her, but not a sound escaped her. He had warned her many times before. As soon as he was done reading, he helped her off his lap and pushed her towards the built-in closet behind her door. Annie knew what it meant. She did what he expected her to do. Standing with her back against the closed doors of the closet, she lifted her nightgown and pulled her panties aside. Adrian liked to look at her. Ever since these episodes started, he had demanded this from her. She never knew why and she never asked him. Sometimes, when he seemed to be a bit grouchy, he also asked her to touch herself, or to spread her labia with a matchstick.
“Come on, Annie, time to sleep,” he said after what felt like an eternity. He tucked her in, and bent over her as if to give her a goodnight kiss.
“You know that you can’t tell your parents about this. They will be very angry and spank you for being naughty. It’s our secret. I’m not angry with you. Good night, my little sweetheart.”
Annie fell asleep listening to the voices of Adrian and her father.
* * * * *
In her pre-teen years, Annie had more experiences that formed her outlook on sex. Between her ninth and eleventh year, it seemed like a chain of these remarkable incidents.
By accident, she saw a poster in her father’s closet. The poster was of a naked woman, sitting on the beach in the shallow water, her legs spread and pink flesh visible through the rich bush of black hair between her legs. Annie had only looked at the picture once, for less than a minute, but years later Annie could still recall the picture in her mind, remembering every detail.
On a different occasion, Annie got out of her bed because she didn’t feel well and walked towards the lights of the lounge to look for her parents. She almost never got out of bed, and her parents never knew she was there. Quietly she stood in the doorway, watching her father on top of her mother, and hearing their grunts and moans before she turned around and went back to bed.
One day while Annie was searching her parents’ room for hidden Christmas gifts, she discovered a stack of Polaroid photo’s in her father’s closet. They were nudes of her mother, but also some nudes of her father. She could never recall any details, but she herself became fond of erotic photography.
* * * * *
The ‘big secret’ involving Adrian abruptly ended one afternoon. Annie’s parents visited Adrian’s and while she found the adult conversation boring, Annie stayed in the room until her parents told her to go play outside. By then Adrian hadn’t shown himself and Annie didn’t know whether he was home. She decided to go to the aviaries in the back of the big garden. That was where Adrian found her.
Adrian pushed Annie against the wall, and his hand searched for that special place between her legs, where he hurt her so many times before. Annie was too afraid to move. Then his mouth was on hers. He forced her lips apart, pushing his tongue in her mouth, touching her with his. Though it lasted only for seconds, it was long enough to nauseate Annie. With an unknown strength, she pushed him away, slipped past him and ran inside the house. They left shortly after she had returned to her parents, but whether they left because of her nausea or because her parents were about to go home anyway, was unclear to Annie. She didn’t care. All she wanted was to get as far away from Adrian as possible. Adrian never visited her parents again. At first, they wondered why he stayed away, but then they suspected that he was spending time with a new girlfriend. For Annie the nightmare was over.
To be continued… Prologue (part 3)
© Rebel’s Notes