When I saw the subject for this week’s Food for Thought, the first thought that came to mind was that I don’t have specific words to live by. But, as with so many things, once you start thinking something through, some things come to mind.
There are things I say frequently, but whether they can be classified as words I live by, I don’t know. I will let you be the judge of that. The things I say are:
- We are all the makers of our own destiny.
- Spread love, not hate.
- If there was more respect, there would be peace.
- Always be true to yourself.
These might not be the only things I say frequently, but these definitely are the ones that are anchored deep in my heart.
We are all the makers of our own destiny
This is something I really believe. Every day we make decisions, even if it’s only as simple as deciding to get up in the morning. Everything, each little thing we do every day, is a decision. Sometimes those decisions are made without even thinking, other times you need some time to think whether you want to do something or not, or what course of action you are going to take; what direction you want to steer your life in. Each of those decisions move our lives forward, and each of those decisions have influence on things that happen later in life. Sometimes, we only see the effect of a decision years later.
One example from my own life is that I had children at a very young age, and both pregnancies were because I decided I wanted a child. My first was born at the age of almost 17, the second when I was 21. My uterus was removed just before I turned 25, and I can’t help but think that if I didn’t have my children that early, I might not have children at all. Another decision was immigrating to the Netherlands. Had I not done that, I would never have met Master T.
Life has its up and downs, and how we handle those are part of why I say we are the makers of our own destiny. The ups of life are mostly easy to handle, but the downs require a bit more effort. When bad things cross our paths – deteriorating health, a broken relationship, a relative passing away – it’s only natural to feel sad or feel sorry for yourself. But, that should be of a passing nature, as life goes on and there are so many beautiful things around us. If you notice that you can’t get out of the negative spiral, it’s time to straighten your back and get help for it. Believe me, I know how difficult this is (re: my mom’s passing), but you can’t stay down in the dumps forever. Life is much too short for that!
Spread love, not hate
I feel very strongly about this, so much so that, about a week or two ago, I re-shared a rant I had on my vanilla Facebook two years ago.
I am angry. Very angry.
If there is something I cannot stand, it is hate. Hate in any form. Hate because someone has something you don’t. Hate because someone is different from you. Hate because someone speaks a different language than you do. Hate because someone’s skin color is different. Hate because someone does things differently from how you do it.
I hate (yes!!!) HATE! I detest it. Hate is vile!
We are all people with different backgrounds, different choices in life, different experiences, different outlooks on life. Stop spreading hate. LOVE is the way. LOVE and RESPECT. If you don’t agree with someone else’s choice, you can do two things: keep your mouth shut & respect the other’s choice or ASK questions to understand & then respect the other’s choice.
But please… STOP. SPREADING. HATE!!!
Hate is what got the world to what it is now and I won’t be part of that. I am spreading LOVE. I respect people for who and what they are. I will NOT be part of hate campaigns!
Like I said, I feel very strongly about this, and nothing gets me into a rage like this when I see the unfair and downright mean ways of some people, where they judge others because of their choices in life, or even because of the way they look or where they come from.
If there was more respect, there would be peace
This connects with the rant I posted above. I really and truly and deeply believe that if there was more respect between people, there would be much less violence in the world, and even peace. Why can’t we just respect others for who they are? If we could just respect others for their beliefs, their sexuality, their skin color, their origin, their everything, instead of bullying them for it, the world would be a much nicer place to live in. With mutual respect for others, I am sure we will get very close to peace on earth. I am not perfect in this, but I definitely try my best to respect others for who and what they are.
Always be true to yourself
I think many of my friends will say that this is the one line I use a lot. Maybe it’s because I have learned this lesson the hard way. So many times I have ‘changed’ myself to be what someone else wanted me to be, only to come to the conclusion that I couldn’t do it. I have two failed marriages to proof my point, and a number of failed relationships and friendships. After my second divorce, one of the things I promised myself, and a promise I always kept, is to always be true to myself. I am who I am, what you see is what you get, and if someone didn’t like me for who I am, it was their loss, not mine. It has happend that I had to move away from people because they tried to change me, and yes, it hurt, but it didn’t hurt as much as it would’ve hurt had I realized I had betrayed myself. In everything that you do, everything you do, you should always be true to yourself and do the things that are important to you. Never change yourself for someone else, no matter who that someone else is, as in the end you will be the unhappy one.
© Rebel’s Notes