Limits… what are your sexual limits?
I have written a couple of posts about limits before:
- 2011 – Day 10: What are your hard limits?
- 2013 – About BDSM limits and more
- 2016 – L is for Limits & More
As you can see those are all quite some time ago. I believe we all grow as people, and where the last post was in the last year when we were still actively busy with BDSM, the other two are old enough for things to have changed, which means it’s once again time to look at what my sexual limits are. It might sound odd to look at this moment, since our D/s on a hiatus, but it might also be an advantage to look at them now, simply because of the little BDSM we engage in currently.
Limits that will never change, are those that deal with the (to me) obvious: children, bestiality, piss or poo play and any non-consensual sex. Those are definitely red flags to me. What I also want to mention under the heading of ‘non-consensual sex’ is when someone thinks they can touch me in a sexual way in ANY situation, only because they have been in a sexual situation with me before. This has caused me some tears before when someone, who I am quite fond of, sort of forced his hands into my pants to touch my cunt, or into my dress to squeeze my tits only because we had some sexual encounters before. I know I should speak up then, but mostly we then are in a public place and I hate making a scene, which means in order to escape his hands, I am constantly twisting and turning my body in ways to make sure he can’t reach where he wants to reach. Thankfully the last time this has happened is almost a year ago, and having identified those uncomfortable feelings now, and being able to put it into words, I understand of myself that this is non-consensual and if ever this happens in future, I will speak up. I am not fair game only because I consented to a sexual situation in the past.
Okay, that said (an awful lot of words to make a point clear – not only to others, but also to myself), of course there are other things on my hard limit (red) list. Things that come to mind are:
- mutilation in any way
- leaving permanent scars (for instance with a knife)
- piercings through my outer labia
- piercings in my face
My soft limits (orange list) are things which I am curious about, but I am still not certain I want to actually try. Amongst those are:
- being lend to someone else for sex (this is something Master T has frequently said, and last time we had a conversation about having little to no sex, he said he might just have to go ahead to borrow me to someone)
- being caned (six of the best)
- making short clips of myself while masturbating (something Master T would love for me to do more so he can share the clips, but I am just too self-conscious to do this)
- humiliation (I have written about this recently)
My green list is much longer than my orange and red lists, and to know what is on there you only have to read this blog to know. Oh where do I even start if I want to mention those. There’s the pain caused by flogging or pinching or a paddling or clamps or a spanking, and the beautiful marks some of those can leave on my skin. Then there’s the way he ‘tortures’ me with his fingers and hands, drawing one orgasm after the other out of me, and once I had an all-consuming one, he wants me to climax once more, even though I can hardly bare to be touched. Crawling and kneeling, showing my submission… those put me in my happy space. There’s rope, and the speculum, and butt plugs, and collars, and cuffs, and a myriad of sex toys; all things that bring a smile to my face, and wetness to my pussy.
Some limits will never change, which are those on my red list, but there are some on my orange list that might be tried, then move to the red list, or when tried, they might even end up on the green list. My green list, however, will always be my green list, and somehow it’s a lot longer than the red or orange list. I might just have to do a BDSM checklist again to see exactly where I stand with my kinks, although I am exploring those for a different meme.
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© Rebel’s Notes