take someone or something at face value
to accept someone or something just as it appears; to believe that the way things appear is the way they really are. He means what he says. You have to take him at face value. I take everything he says at face value.
Source: The Free Dictionary
One of Floss’ questions was whether you are a person that can be taken at face value. To this I wholeheartedly say: YES! I have no hidden sides. I am who I am, and the way I am online is also the way I am in real life and vice versa. I have many sides to me – the shy woman who sometimes can’t find the words to talk to someone, the confident woman who stands her ground and also the silly woman who can laugh and joke until her tummy aches. When in a group, my insecurities can overwhelm me so much that I don’t even dare to look at someone else, and then I can seem arrogant, as if I don’t want to talk to someone. But this isn’t true – it’s ‘simply’ my own insecurities paralyzing me. Honestly, it depends on the situation I am in. A setting that comes to mind is Eroticon. There, mostly, I feel confident, but I also have those moments where it feels like my feet are nailed to the ground and my lips sewn shut. Still, on the whole, I am always just who I am, and yes, you can take me at face value.
Because I never have a hidden agenda, I assume no one else has. You know what they say about ‘assume’, right? When you assume something it makes an ‘ass’ of ‘u’ and ‘me’. The thing is, it makes an ass of me. You see, so many times I have gone into something full of enthusiasm and giving much of myself, only to learn the hard way that I shouldn’t have done it; that the other person was not as sincere as I was. I always say I trust people too easily. I have tried not to do this; tried to be more reserved, but it’s just not my nature to ‘distrust’ people. I can’t tell you how many times in my life, because of this, I have been disappointed. And sometimes more than once by the same person, as when people come to me with nice promises, even after they have hurt me, I believe them all over again.
If you have been reading along with my blog for some time, you will know that there were some times when we had such lovely times with other people (playdates) and then suddenly it was over. No more dates. No more contact. As if it never happened. I tried to revive it, but to no avail. You see, when I go for something, I really go for it, and because I do, I think others do too. I go for long term connections, but it’s not a given that others do too. However, when you make me think you do, and then you suddenly don’t, you leave behind a hurt Rebel.
Does this mean in hindsight I wish I hadn’t try to build up something long term with those people? No. I wouldn’t have wanted to miss the experiences we had with them for the world. Those were sexy and relaxing explorations, and playdates I will never forget. I just wish that they hadn’t let it bleed out by promising we will keep in contact, then promising again and again and in the end I finally let it go, because I understood their interest had waned and moved on to someone else.
I will continue to take people at face value, and I will always give people a second chance, or the benefit of the doubt, and I think this means that I might be hurt again in future, because I give a lot of myself, and sometimes, just sometimes, I expect a little bit back too. Not much… only a little.
© Rebel’s Notes